What does dissociation mean to you?

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Okay, just a premise: had a breakdown once in which the environment seemed unreal (derealization), but I also couldn't be immersed in another world (video games, books etc.) like I did before, and like most aspies/auties could very easily.

Recently I experimented with dissociatives, a type of psychotropic substances that, as the name implies, dissociate your mind from the body, and... bang, I was totally able to immerse myself in other worlds (including, of course, internally if no outside stimulus was present). This is also accompanied with feeling much less stressed, although that is usually the result of the immersion itself (unless, of course, the other world induces its own stress).

If anyone understands the chemistry (I've tried to work it out logically, but I could use some help) these are called NMDA antagonists. NMDA apparently mimics glutamate, which is involved in learning and memory. Could I conclude anything from this that I could do to more easily be able to immerse myself? Could it be an excess of glutamate?

ps. I wouldn't mind your subjective views either, I don't necessitate expertise!

I've had derealization for a year 24/7. They think I have Asperger's, schizotypal, schizophrenia, or panic disorder.

Did you smoke some Salvia? Since I don't have DID or anything like that it is the closest I have ever come. It is classified as a dissociative.

Well, there's temporary, anxiety-induced dissociation where you feel as though you are outside of your body. And then there is chronic dissociation that starts as a defense mechanism to block out trauma and can then escalate into the multiple personalities of DID. And of course it could be an excess of glutamate, in addition to an excess of dopamine. Those are the two neurotransmitters most involved with the creation of psychotic symptoms. So, why would you want to use psychotropic substances that mimic the brain chemistry of schizophrenia/psychosis and maybe make YOUR brain chemistry like this permanently? Also, keep in mind that schizophrenia and OCD are being more and more linked in terms of neuroscience. OCD also appears to be a hyperglutamatergic state. And what makes ASD individuals fixate on something "in their own world"? Obsessive-compulsive tendencies.

I vaguely recall something about NMDA antagonists having rapid antidepressant effects. What you wrote about not being able to be immersed in worlds reminded me of how depression affects me that way. Don't know if that's the same as what's going on for you, of course.

I also vaguely recall something about Olney's lesions (some type of brain damage) that can be caused by NMDA antagonists.

i'm not entirely sure what i experienced tonight but after an hour or so of stimming, i felt like my hands and legs weren't attached to my body, and i questioned if they were there at all when i couldn't see them.
i'm not entirely sure if it would be considered disassociation, but it was very strange. i didn't like it.

Dissociation is mind numbness/emotional numbness. I think you are explaining depersonalisation, where your mind is out of the body.

@joku_muko - I have tried SD, and for one moment once I experienced intense mental clarity... but it's as intense as it is short and afterwards it fizzles out like a dream. Although, it interestingly changes its effects in combination with other substances. I took N2O with it (also a unique dissociative) and suddenly became inspired to write for about half an hour continuously. Very interesting insights.

@OddDuckNash99 - I think I was just in a mild dissociative state while younger, and it's either due to lack of anxiety (which builds up over time) or it actually blocked anxiety (but never had DID, and this was mild at best).

And... why capitalize 'your'? "Maybe, permanently" doesn't inspire confidence. If you're knowledgeable about this subject (and really a neuroscientist) I'd love to chat with you, as that is probably the foremost interest of mine currently as well, but please do not resort to scaremongering. If, on the other hand, there has indeed been cases and studies where this has occurred do post them. AFAIK alcohol has more of a chance of making people psychotic but no one even raises an eyebrow...

I experience derealization on a daily basis. It's been my constant personal hell for more than twenty years now. It all started in high school when I had to deal with the torment of bullying. Also, at the age of 14 I was moved 1,000 miles away from where I had spent all of my life prior to that. I never was able to socially adapt to the new situation and so I shut down and became severely depressed. Well, in high school, no one knows how to leave the oddball alone, so my torment began. I went into a severe depression and avoided everyone. Eventually, I had a complete nervous breakdown about a month or two after graduation. I was not into drugs or anything, so it all stems from my severe depression and, I think, PTSD. To this day it has never abated and only seems to get worse and worse. It's almost led me to suicide several times as it can be unbearable to deal with.

So, with me, you have derealization, major depression and anxiety. I also suspect Asperger's in myself as it is a possible explanation for why I developed the other psychological issues I have. I had Aspie traits before my move away from my hometown and they materialized in my limited relationships as a child. I did have to deal with bullying in elementary school, but it was limited since I was mostly in small church schools with class sizes of 5-10 students at the maximum. Every time I went to a school with larger classes, I did terribly. Several adults picked up on my social issues and organizational difficulties but no one ever suggested autism, or if they did, my parents don't remember it. I do know that my mom would not have me assessed by the school as she did not want me labeled and thus put in a special school. I don't blame her and understand her reasons. Her exposure to learning disabled students was not positive and she didn't want me to be seen as one of them.

I'm not scaremongering. There is irrefutable evidence that psychotropic substances can cause psychosis in individuals who are genetically predisposed. There is too much evidence to even post individual studies and such about it. It's basically become an accepted "fact." The hyperglutamatergic state of psychosis is a more recent concept, so I'm sure you'll find lots of journal articles on PubMed if you search "glutamate psychosis." And while alcohol can cause nasty effects, its chemistry doesn't have a link to psychotic symptoms. Alcohol is a depressant and works on different areas of the brain than, say, crystal meth or cocaine.