Quote:
It's not autistic. If you like doing something, it's common you get indulged in it.
I don't think people who are not autistic, autistic-related or with a mental specificity of some kind (OK, it can just be for example a "high IQ", so to say - I don't like very much the concept of IQ), can really have the same experience.
In my case, I don't really have the "mind locked" aspect of the thing, except when it's late and I must go to sleep while I've been reading or searching an interest extensively for long hours ; for then it can become hard to stop. But else, yes, it seems I can focus for a much longer time than others, provided I'm in the right conditions (for example, reading in a library is not the best situation for that to happen, because I'm in a social setting). But it works above all for ephemeral interests I think, which become quite an obsession, or my long-lasting strange interests (maps, Google Earth, music, playing again and again episodes of the TV series I like).
Nonetheless, I think I've managed to tame that in what regards specific tasks. I'm a procrastinator, surely because I'm a perfectionist, so I usually do my work at the last moment. Two months ago, I had an essay to write about the thematic of
l'ennui (which in French seems a more multi-faceted word than the English boredom) in French literature. I had the whole semester to think about it, but I had a dissertation of 100 pages or more to do too, so I delayed, and I found myself without having done much for the essay while a few days remained before the deadline... I had chosen an author, but then I told me it would not work and decided to change a few days before the deadline. I took a writer I knew more, even though I had never done research on this particular thematic about him, and I wrote more than 24 pages pretty much overnight. I wrote it while reading several hundred pages of the author (a poet, so it was easier). I emailed the essay at the beginning of the afternoon the next day, after just a small proofreading. And I got, hum, a nearly perfect result.
I know other people who have a proclivity to do their university work near or very near the deadline. For some, it's not a rewarding experience, of course. For the good or the best students, it can give them a 15 or a 16 if they're lucky, but I've yet to meet someone who had such mark when doing it nearly overnight. With me, it's different, and I'm shameful about it sometimes, because, of course, it didn't happen once, even though this is an extreme example (my parents were like "it's impossible" when they learnt I'd had such a good mark, given the situation). But when I did this, working all night to do this paper, it didn't feel hard, I was focused, and I didn't even have to "think" a lot, it did itself...
I'm not writing so extensively about myself (sorry if it's too much information, and if it appears to be vain, but I'd like to know if you've lived the same experiences) without thinking on the general level. It seems to me that there is, indeed, a specific "focus mode" in what regards people that are different from the usual NT. It's in my opinion one of the many proofs of the
qualitative difference in "intelligence" or rather in the organization and processing of thought and data (the qualitative aspect is more important that the maybe not-so-appropriately-called "quantitative" aspect of "intelligence", I think). Some professors have told me several times, in oral tests for example (where the train of thoughts appears as it is), that I don't approach problems or subjects in the same way of others (which in many cases is a good thing - not every time, though, and of course I speak here only of knowledge). That can be a problem, because it makes me feel further remote from other people, in an area I should be more alike with my colleagues : they don't study or research the way I do (which is, hum, really idiosyncratic). When I was younger I naively thought my differences with others would be less pronounced when I would be at university, where there is no longer this great ravine of interests and functioning between people ; I was wrong.
Quote:
When I was a teen, people would often tell me that when I worked on art, I looked like I was in a totally different mental zone than everyone else, and sometimes they were afraid to disrupt me.
That's the point.
There are persons who have told me they were impressed when they saw me in my "writing trance" mod ; however, I don't know how I am when I'm in a real highly focused "trance", because it most often happens when I'm alone at home, but I know that for me too time can go by while I process data, and that I could keep doing it longer if there were not constraints, whether they be social or organic (sleep !).