Feeling Statistically Lonely

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Since last night I've been having sort of an odd feeling that's new to me. The 1 in 68 statistic for autism that the CDC came out with this year means that, even with the rising numbers, only 1.47% of the population is like us. I used to feel sort of proud to belong to a unique and uncommon subset of society, if that makes any sense, but last night I started being more aware of what it really feels like to be surrounded by people who don't share my neurology, and I suddenly felt like I was figuratively suffocating, being surrounded day in and day out by people who are very different from me. Bottom line is I wish there could be more of us around, that I could look at my lecture hall class of over 100 people and know that, statistically speaking, I'm not the only person in the room with my condition. I must admit it's a rather disillusioning feeling; has anybody else experienced it?

One of the most common problems I have is that I'm looking for a deep answer, and one of my fellow students calls out something amazingly simple.

Aaaaaaand, it's the right answer.

What I'm trying to get at is that we think differently, and it may make us look like idiots, liars or naive geniuses, but at the end of the day, we have an outlook on life that the other 95-99% can only dream of.

Sometimes that thought is comforting, and other times it terrifies me. My grandfather always makes it sound like no one will ever be able to understand me on an intellectual and philosophical level, and maybe he's right, but there's no guarantee that I won't be in the same predicament.

You've been given an outlook on life that very few people will ever be able to say that they've personally experienced, and it will be both your biggest downfall and best friend.

For about 23 years, I felt like I was the only one like that on the planet. Then, I met a person like me. A few years ago, I became aware of Aspergers and Aspergers traits. I'm just glad there are more than 2 people in existence that think and behave this way.

I know that feeling. I have unique interests that I wish more people like me shared. I find it difficult and anxiety-provoking to interact with non-autistic people. I find that with them, one minute and everything is fine, and then they turn around and do something I didn't expect them to do. They're not as predictable and their rules are confusing. I want to feel secure around people, knowing exactly what's going on and not being anxiety-ridden. I want to make sure people will be there, come back, and if not, explain why. I want to make sure people are okay with my obsessive, fixational way of connecting with others. So many people just don't get it.

Don't know about the rest of you but in order to feel the same as other people I also need to share roughly the same level as intelligence of them.

I estimate only about 1 in 100 autistics share my intelligence level.

So I feel more like 1 in 10,000 rather than 1 in 100. So yes, I do feel very statistically lonely.

I have felt statistically isolated since I was about 6 years old and found out my intelligence ranked in the top >1% of the population...and even more so over the years as I realized how few people share my peculiar beliefs and interests. I always thought that if I could find people I have more in common with, I would feel less isolated. But instead, I found out I don't necessarily feel at home around people I have more in common with, and I didn't know why.

Now understanding that I have autistic traits really explains it all. This is the missing piece I was always looking for. So in a way it has done the opposite for me, it makes me feel like I am finally in good company.

On the other hand, being on this forum, I realize how few people here even come close to sharing my spiritual beliefs or worldview, so I still feel rather isolated by that. But the thing is, when I find groups of people who DO share my beliefs, their social behaviors just annoy the hell out of me.

I dont understand why it would be something to be proud of ?, is it because you are trying to find good things in being different ?.

Its like many times people wanna group together with other people based on something common, i feel like this is dangerous. already there is a lot of us vs them on this forum.

I dont particular understand normal people. But the same applies to people on here that is different.

Its like if you take 2 people who have both lost their legs, why should they get along better with each other, than with someone else.

Maybe i just dont get it.

I wouldn be able to get along better with someone who had aspergers, autism, tourette than anyone else.