Trouble communicating thoughts that are actually important

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If somebody gets me on the topic of something shallow like music or fashion, I could go on for hours teaching them about my preferred genres.

If somebody were to bring up a socio-political topic with me and I feel the need to share my opinion, I have no idea how to form my thoughts into words, let alone when to interject my words into the conversation. It's like I have thoughts and feelings inside me in my own language, and can't verbalize them. It's extremely frustrating, especially nowadays since the US Presidential election is coming up and family members keep dragging me into conversations about their views, which are usually in radical opposition to mine. I want to give them a different viewpoint to consider--that's it, I don't want to change their minds or anything--but can't form the words and don't even know how to time it so that I don't interrupt them.

It's strange, because when I'm thinking about my beliefs and values to myself, I can hear my thoughts as coherent words. But when I'm in conversation, or put on the spot, my inner dialogue always goes away and just turns into fragments of phrases, and my mind feels very cloudy and confused. Does that make any sense? I think it might also have to do with social anxiety, or the fact that I don't talk much?

I was wondering if anybody knew of some ways I could get over this hurdle, and start being able to communicate my deeper thoughts to others?

Ironically, I'm very wordy when I'm able to write...

Also, I'm new here, so hello!

There was one point in my life that I could read as well as most adults, yet couldn't speak! I was 4 at the time, and thereby hyperlexic.

i think it's pretty common to be unable to properly put thoughts into words when you don't totally understand them
maybe try writing them down if you want to learn how to express them
or reading more and paying attention to how other people express themselves

I have this problem too, worse when I was younger. Now usually when I do express important things, it comes out kinda wrong anyways. I am always being told I sound dramatic, or over descriptive, like a book. I think thats because I learned my cadence from reading? o.0

I had it the other way. I stutter and not make sense about trivial things..but when it comes down to something that matters, my "effective" self switches on and "assumes control". I don't fail.

When I saw the title, I thought, "Wow, not communicating important information, that describes me well!" I will keep silent when I think of important things I think everyone should know while I am at work, such as thoughts of my own well-being, the root issue or idea I need to tell people to solve issues, etc. People always tell me "You should have just said ...!" Such as today, when it was raining, and I had to bike in the rain, I "should have just said" that I didn't have a raincoat.

i do also have a problem along those lines. its a very minor problem when i am with my friends. at work, with strangers, in stressful situations or when i have to be quick/effective, words and the intended meaning doesn't leave my mouth the way i hear them in my head. i try to work around it by being prepared, but that only helps a little and never enough.

it could be helpful for you to read about alexithymia. its a state of deficiency in understanding, processing, or describing emotions. it might be that this condition applies to more than emotions. i do feel like theres a gap between my thoughts and what i am able to verbalize, in some situations. like there is something that gets lost on the way. writing on the other hand is so much easier.

I think I can identify with this somewhat. What may be different to what has already been said is that I find it very hard to even write down properly. It's probably more marked in my speech though. The pressures of time mean even messages like this one I'm writing are going to be mostly lost. In matters of opinion (and often fact too) this might come out the worst, as my passionate feelings for and against someone might just come out in very strongly-worded and occasionally even offensive, simple gestures. It could be false for me to think I even harbour anything more inside me than what comes out, at least when writing/typing, because it's hard to say when instead of thinking in words I think much more in a fairly raging whirlwind of images and emotions.

On the side, my concentration's not often great and I have a diagnosis in having a short working memory, as well as learning difficulties. So—

It's one thing to not be able to make the best conversation when my returns come to mind in l'esprit de l'escalier time. Sadly I deal with being interrupted often. (And I'm meant to be the sperg!) It's harder for me then it might seem to be witty on the spot. I think the most irritating part of it for the past year has been my desire to write both lyrics and poetry, with what feels like several manifestos in my head, but nothing at the tip of the pen apart from that which either looks too embarrassing to read the next day or not quite to the point. It would be interesting to see what anyone makes of that.

I'm a little better at putting my words to text than explaining by mouth but it's still pretty difficult. I try so hard to explain myself too that the explanations get long winded, fancy words, etc

I have this trouble as well I feel what I want to say dosen't come out the way I want it too I find it easier writing it down.

I spent most of the day yesterday with my mom and she pointed this out to me. She said "You can write excellent papers and can spell better than anyone I know, yet you can't speak. Why is that?"

And then today in my operating systems class, my teacher asked me what a driver was. I said "they are instructions", but he wanted more information. I had no idea what else to say. So then he says "I want you to be able to explain it in a way others will understand, so you can help teach your classmates. You have valuable knowledge to share but you need to learn how to share it".

I've always thought my problem was just an introvert thing. I live inside my mind and when I want to live outside, I just struggle.

I'm amazed at how I can pretty much relate to everyone who has replied! This is my first topic and I'm so glad I found this place and joined.

You guys have sparked an idea that I would like to try. I have an online journal in which I write down my thoughts and feelings, and my entries tend to be very long-winded. I will try reading some of my entries aloud in order to get used to the idea of speaking my thoughts, since I think speaking and writing come from two different parts of the brain, right? So I will try to exercise the speaking part of my brain this way.

In addition, I have been considering making Youtube videos to share with my journal's followers so that I can observe how I speak to other people. Those of you who have the same struggles as me might also benefit from this experiment, what do you think? If you don't have a journal, you could find an emotionally-charged piece of fiction to read, or just start rambling about something you normally have trouble talking about when others are present.