Lying with an ASD

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Stereotypically, people with ASDs can't lie. I doubt this is true, at least not for everyone. Speaking personally, I have a tendency towards telling the truth, but I can lie just as easily as I can tell the truth. This particular fact was mentioned to me during a drama course exercise in which I had to say things, some of which were true and others lies. I feel no urge to look away if I lie, and other than that I simply state a lie in the same way I state the truth. That being said, I don't lie much as I don't often recognise a need for it, and I consider the truth to be important. I also seem to be more believable that normal people, possibly because people assume I can't lie.

So do other people have trouble lying, or not, and how do you do it? And what do you think about the 'autistic people can't lie' thing.

I can't lie. Literally, if I attempt to say something that is not true I cannot speak. I've never met anyone else, autistic or not, who is to this extreme.

im bad at lying but i will tell bad ones when under a lot of stress.

I'm a terrible liar and rarely if ever lie. It cost me many job opportunities because I couldn't say I was the top candidate when I knew I wasn't. It took me a long time to realize that when you tell the truth all the time, people think you are from Jupiter because they are so used to lying is makes them uncomfortable to hear someone speak honestly.

For example, as a kid I was enrolled in a neighboring city's rec program. My mother used my grandmother and uncle's address to register and told me if anyone asks that was my home address. I simply could not do that but I was able to exaggerate a little by saying we spent a lot of time there so we are allowed to register under their name. Obviously the kids who ran the program didn't care if I told the truth (they had a job solely because of me since enrollment was so low: it was a very small city at the time and most of the city was brand new or under construction) but I felt awful telling that white lie. That's about the closest I can get to a lie.

What really annoys me is how I'm frequently accused of being a liar. What's worse is my pathological liar brother NEVER gets the same accusation. If you are going to make those accusations, lets see some proof!

I am *able* to tell lies but I'm not very good at it. Anyone who knows me will instantly recognise the tells because I get very stressed. I get very stressed when questioned about *anything* so with the added stress of a lie then it is obvious that I'm withholding something.

I had to lie to get my job. It's a handy skill to have......

"Imagine a hypothetical test of your ability to tell a lie. You would know all about the test and for example the lie might be to say that you were 30 instead of 25 or that you owned a dog instead of a cat. In a situation with no consequences like this could you lie? Are you completely unable to speak *any* untruth, no matter the situation?"

The consequences to me would be that I would have to sit for hours in severe distress over the fact that I just blatantly lied about something like my age and that I owned a dog instead of a cat. My Mom always said I was a terrible liar, before I would even start to say something untrue, I would start laughing.

There have been times I have truly believed something to be a fact, and then later found out that it was completely untrue, which I admitted my mistake, and then moved on, but no, I could not blatantly say something I knew for a fact was not true. To me, that would be the utter disrespect, and my conscience just could not deal with that.

I do not find that to be too much trouble though, but I do think that people tend to expect what was said, that people just lie out of course. I have never really had a problem with anyone being upset that I am honest, usually people get upset if you say something mean about them, and I decided a long time ago I would just never say anything mean or nasty, as if I was mean or nasty even a part of the time, then I would not ever be nice any of the time, so I just treat everyone with respect no matter what happens always.

It can be problematic, especially in situations where people are saying things that are not nice about others, then I dont know whether to listen or to walk away, because I then feel guilty if I am listening to it, but apparently people do this, but I feel if your talking bad about someone behind their back, it is too their face anyhow.

Thanks for the quick answer Tuttle, that's really interesting *pokes you like a lab rat* lol

I feel I should add, though, that there are moments when I do say things that people get upset over, as we are all human beings, but then that is when I have to think about my actions, and try to be a better person, I just wanted to add that while I have a policy to not ever say anything bad or negative, there are times when that happens, but I try my best not to.

Just wanted to clarify that.

I believe it.

TheSunAlsoRises

I'm capable of lying, but strongly predisposed not to. I suppose as I've got older I've learned that the truth is not always welcome so there are times not to speak it, but I still have to fight an inner compulsion to do so!

I can be a bit slow to believe when someone is lying to me, but once I do realise it freaks me out. Even before I spot the lie I can sense that things don't add up. Like my dad used to say, when you hear 'don't you trust me? I'm the Vicar!' then it's time to start counting the silver!

I can lie. Smoothly. Better than most in face-to-face interaction. I need to have put together the lie beforehand though but this doesn't take me all too long.

I can't lie spontaneously. If asked a specific question that I have not stored away an answer for in my memory, I'll spontaneously respond with the truth. It's the only thing that comes to my mind.

If prompted to lie along beyond "yeah" and beyond repeating what someone else has said or if prompted to spontaneously respond with a lie to an open ended question, I can't. I could always tell the truth, but there aren't any other words in my mind that I could speak out loud to tell a lie.

^^^ what they said. i think the fact that we have no expressions or speak in a monotone helps. how will the other person know, if we dont show signs or alter our typical behaviour, that we are lying?