Even if you want a relationship, do you want marriage?

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Marriage?
I am interested in a relationship, but I do not want to settle down and I do not want marriage 21%  21%  [ 9 ]
I am interested in a relationship, and I do want to settle down, but I don't want marriage 21%  21%  [ 9 ]
I am interested in a relationship, and I do want to settle down, and I do want to marry some day 26%  26%  [ 11 ]
Undecided on marriage at this time 14%  14%  [ 6 ]
Other option (comment) 19%  19%  [ 8 ]
Total votes : 43

MightyMorphin
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11 Aug 2012, 9:46 am

I don't want marriage, but I do want a relationship. What goes through my head though, is settling down with someone. It doesn't feel right. I just want a young spontaneous relationship, you know?

Marriage seems so "adult"

By settling down, I mean living together, sharing bills etc.
I would rather live on my own and my partner also live on their own or with a housemate or whatever they choose, but still see eachother regularly. Does that make sense? I just need my space a lot.



CyclopsSummers
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11 Aug 2012, 9:53 am

EDIT: Ahh, never mind, the poll got the option now.

I can actually understand where you're coming from with not wanting to 'settle down', and needing your personal space. I've recently had acquaintances I used to hang out with last year and early this year, but lately I have been wanting my own 'me'-time a lot. I've trouble getting myself to participate in social events anymore. Part of this is because I don't feel so comfortable right now.

I think I would like to settle down with someone if I were in a romantic relationship. I would only get romantically involved with someone who resonates with me very well, anyway- so to me, it would not feel as though I would be giving up time/space if I could spend it with that person. But marriage is not necessary, in my opinion.


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zxy8
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11 Aug 2012, 9:57 am

I'm not in any, but I'd like marriage. That would be awesome :D Well providing it was to someone I wanted to marry lol XD



Tuttle
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11 Aug 2012, 10:32 am

I'd rather marriage did not function the way it did in this country, but because it does I'd still rather get married for the legal benefits than not get them.



SilkySifaka
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11 Aug 2012, 10:40 am

I've been 'settled down' and living with someone almost all my adult life. I lived with one person between 16 and 18, another between 19 and 21 and my current partner since I was 22; I am now 26. I don't know any other life, and I didn't really think much at the time if I was ready for it as moving in has usually been down to financial necessity on my part. I moved in with my finance when we had been going out for 3 months and although it has worked out OK I think that was a bit soon! I am getting married in around 18 months time and I definitely feel ready for that.



Radiofixr
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11 Aug 2012, 11:49 am

Even if two people are in a relationship they may not be able to marry due to the relationship being a same sex relationship-I do not forsee myself being in a relationship-too many superficial people it seems.


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nolan1971
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11 Aug 2012, 11:50 am

Have already been married once for 13yrs and loved it. (some of the best years of my life)
I absolutely want to marry again! :D



OJani
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11 Aug 2012, 12:39 pm

MightyMorphin wrote:
I don't want marriage, but I do want a relationship. What goes through my head though, is settling down with someone. It doesn't feel right. I just want a young spontaneous relationship, you know?

Marriage seems so "adult"

By settling down, I mean living together, sharing bills etc.
I would rather live on my own and my partner also live on their own or with a housemate or whatever they choose, but still see eachother regularly. Does that make sense? I just need my space a lot.

I'm not sure I want to be in a serious relationship and live together with someone any more. I had been in one for one year when I was 36-37, and while we had our moments, it was emotionally draining. I didn't realize back then that what I needed was more alone time and time for my special interests. If I could have more of it all anytime I need it, I guess I could settle down finally.



Joe90
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11 Aug 2012, 2:15 pm

I selected the third one. Although I'm not up for a relationship at the moment with my anxious state of mind, that still doesn't mean I don't ever want a relationship in my life. And I do plan to get married at some point in my life. A lot of people (even NTs) have said that they don't want to get married, but I do, and I will one day.

My dream wedding is to invite all my friends and family to the ceremony, just have a small party afterwards, then me and my husband will sit in a carriage with two beautiful white horses, and that night we will set off to our romantic honeymoon, anywhere in the world. But I want to find the man I really love to be able to do this (ie, my bus-driver).


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Hexagon
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11 Aug 2012, 2:35 pm

I've yet to figure out why I'd want a relationship, so marriage is pretty much out of the question. And sex??? no way.



League_Girl
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11 Aug 2012, 2:48 pm

I didn't want a marriage when I realized it didn't make sense. I used to think it was something you had to do. But once I learned you get a tax break for it, I decided "let's get married then." Plus there are other benefits of being married like if your partner dies, you get their money and stuff and decide what you want to do with it. If they are sick in the hospital and they have the family only policy, you can go and see them.


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Nonperson
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11 Aug 2012, 3:47 pm

I am married, but I would have been perfectly happy just to live together, if it wasn't impossible because we were from different countries. As for no relationship/other types of relationships - I'm not asexual, and I hate meeting new people but enjoy spending time with a familiar person one-on-one, so a monogamous long-term relationship is best for me.



GreenShadow
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11 Aug 2012, 4:31 pm

comment: at this time I'm not interested in any kind of relationship

And even if I will be interested in one day - not in marriage


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Sanctus
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11 Aug 2012, 4:32 pm

I don't want a relationship, and even if - one day - I'll have one, I would NEVER marry.



The_Walrus
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11 Aug 2012, 6:28 pm

I'm not concerned about a legal contract.

I would really like to be in a relationship that functioned like a good marriage though. Whether we were married or not wouldn't really matter, though I suppose getting married is a "statement of intent".

Realistically I don't hold any hope of finding someone who doesn't care about my need for lots of time on my own, being repulsed by sex, being generally autistic, and so forth. Plus I'd want them to share in at least one of my interests so we could have fulfilling conversations- and they'd have to be genuine conversations, a lot of the time my "conversations" about topics I'm interested in descend into someone interested in a topic but less knowledgeable pestering me with questions.



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11 Aug 2012, 7:16 pm

MightyMorphin wrote:
I don't want marriage, but I do want a relationship. What goes through my head though, is settling down with someone.

I think that is what I would like, however I would like to actually live with the person, but still have my own room. I do need a lot of mental/emotional space though. However I would need someone who did not want to be too involved in my life, did not get concerned about me, expect me to talk heaps with them etc.


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