Social Anxiety Disorder

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I think I may have it, so I was wondering if you guys could help me by answering some questions.

With guys who JUST have Aspergers: do you become anxious in social situations? Or perhaps just an ordinary nervousness because you doubt your social skills are up to scratch for the situation?

And to those with AS and SAD, or just SAD: Could you describe it for me?

No. The only real emotion I experience in social situations is boredom.

Both to be honest. I get anxious usually in large groups of people that I don't know. I also feel nervous because I feel like a social idiot compared to all the socially-complex-and-experienced NTs (not that I'm especially jealous, I just feel uncomfortable).

just Aspergers and I get anxious in social situations

I suffer from social anxiety, so I try to avoid situations when I have to be with lots of other people, also some aspies prefer to be with just 1 or 2 people at a time, the only time I am ok with a group of people is at the aspergers support group I go to.
I think if things were the other way round so that 99% of people had aspergers, the 1% who were NT would have the same problems as we do with a large group of people as they would be seen as the different one.
Simon.

Indeed all the NT people would be seeking larger groups and more parties!

I get bored, but I get anxious because people will think I'm some arrogant as*hole if I stop listening to them all talk at once

I also dont like larger crowds, too much chaos, frustrates me, I just want to organize it all

Social anxiety is described as a fear of being judged by others, but I've also seen it described as being a fear of interacting with others in social situations. I think I used to be more afraid of people judging me, but not as much now. People with social anxiety often have irrational thoughts about what others may be thinking of them. Like for example "I just know I'll say the wrong thing" or "They think I'm ugly" or "Everyone thinks I'm stupid" So you see it's usually the thoughts about themselves that are irrational, thus they often suffer from low self-esteem and depression.

I think I used to have more severe social anxiety in the past and I kinda did worry about what others were thinking of me. But now when I think of it I don't think I really have much in the way of irrational thoughts. Well, at least not any I'm aware of. Now days I get more anxious around people I don't know and thinking of things to say to people. Perhaps people with Asperger's have a different kind of social anxiety than people with the actual disorder have, maybe more to do with knowing what to say at the right time, or engaging in small talk.

It's still social anxiety though, regardless

More info here: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Social_anxiety_disorder

"I just know I'll say the wrong thing"

I censor myself because I know people won't be able to handle the truth. Jack Nicholson was right "You cant handle the truth"

I've been diagnosed several times with SAD and also Avoidant Personality Disorder (AvPD), never with AS (though I keep trying to be). With me it's a fear of being judged as stupid or weird. Also thinking that I have no social skills whether or not I do, and that everyone thinks I have no social skills and doesn't want to be around me. I'm afraid to ask anyone on the simplest of social outings, such as to go to get coffee at work. If I do ever get up enough nerve to go to a social occasion I usually enjoy myself, though I sometimes feel I don't have much to add to the conversation. Because I've had SAD and AvPD for so many years, I've never had a lot of normal life experiences that many others my age have had, so this makes me seem even more weird to others, and means I have even less to talk about when I'm with others.

Do you have AS and SAD both, or SAD only?

Oh my god, yes.

I definitely get nervous and anxious in social situations. I get so nervous that sometimes I simply cannot think and I just white out.

I was diagnosed with SAD in 1984 but I did not know at the time I was already diagnosed as autistic in 1961. My present diagnosis is the same as it was back in 1961 now that has come to light. SAD is not so much the issue now as I can function in the presence in a crowd of people no problems such as panic attacks. Panic attacks and anxiety in crowds seem to be one of the hallmarks of this disorder. But I personally have huge issues with socially interacting with them and have serious communication, speech and listening issues. I cannot pick out individual voices in that crowd even though if the crowd itself may not frighten me. There would have to be a riot or something going on for me to be really scared.

Last edited by paulsinnerchild on 19 Nov 2006, 1:19 am, edited 1 time in total.

Hmmn

When I'm anxious I over-analyse every single conversation around me trying to work out whats going on. I tend to freak out much more in smaller groups.

However even when I'm not anxious (ie: last night I was out at a party) I'm always left out so I end up spending time thinking for an hour or so working out something cool or interesting to say.

Last night I was playing a banjo I found at this party, I didn't realise but I was told later by my brother, that I'd been playing it for over 2 hours, no wonder people told me to shutup, in my mind I was contributing much more to the group than all the blab around me

Anyway I've been diagnosed twice with S.A.D (I always find sad ironic). I think its because since I was young I developed a way of filtering the facts out of conversations and trying to interject my own interests to get something going I could be a part of. When this fails (3/4 of the time) I tend to start getting very anxious and wondering if they hate me etc.

Yet another AS issue I find confusing to quantify.......

When I was really young,I felt little interest in "playing with others"I didnt know anyone with my interests and I found kids annoying

As a teen....I really wanted to socialize with the objective of finding "a soul mate" I would tolerate social situations(with the aid of alcohol)but only if there was the slimmest of chances of meeting that
"Other alien".

In my twenties I wanted to "belong to a group" have a sense of family and connection that I was not a lone mutant.....

By my late thirties....I decided the whole process wasnt worth the problems that came with it, and I began to return to my self impossed isolation of childhood.

Full circle it appears.I have a boyfriend who is my best friend and I have you folks,which I consider my lost tribe....I dont feel any other social need.I force myself to be in a few social situations for my boyfriend(with his family who are very nice.)I am always afraid of saying something to upset them,because I have done it with others so often.Even though they seem to except and like me,I will always wonder....NT's can fake it soooo well.

Let them. Then it is just their problem and you can be content.

I tend to get bored with most people myself. Just when someone is speaking to me, I'll try to keep talking as much as possible so they don't think I'm a jerk. I'm usually fine one on one where I know I can control the flow of a conversation and opinions given but, in social gatherings, I am utterly helpless and I get so nervous I try to hide myself.