Social anxiety - what do you think about what I was told?

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Oh, please - tell me - is it common to be anxious walking into a store or restaurant when one has aspergers? I was just told by a psychiatrist that a person with aspergers can walk into a store - no problem - but someone with social anxiety cannot so easily. My understanding is there is quite a prevalence of social anxiety/anxiety generally - with aspergers - n'est pas?

LM

There certainly is a lot of anxiety with AS! People cannot be divided into separate DX categories; there is bound to be some overlap with other co-existing factors.

I get anxious when walking into a supermarket or somewhere else quite busy. Some Aspies get anxious when they're too self-aware and so worried that people in the supermarket are going to judge them or observe them or laugh at them if they do something wrong - which can cause social anxiety (also knowing how shallow NTs can be and one teeny silly little thing out of place on a person and they get stared at the same way a lunatic dancing with her knickers round her ankles would get stared at). Other Aspies may not be too self-aware but still get anxious walking into a supermarket because of all the noise and just people in general.

Depends on what store or restaurant, what time of day, how familiar you are with the place, etc. I'd say dealing with the sensory overload of a busy, crowded place isn't really social anxiety, but if you have to do it enough it could cause you to be anxious. Somewhere like Wal-Mart at a peak time would be difficult, or a crowded restaurant (or, worse, a cafeteria). Going at a non-peak time without the crowds, lines, etc would be easier. Unfamiliar places would cause more anxiety, but you can't get familiar without overcoming that. If you go to a store often enough, you start noticing that all they do is rearrange things, probably to give the staff something to do.

This is so true! I was shopping in a supermarket one day, and I was wearing a huge straw sun hat because the meds I was on warned about exposing myself to direct sunlight. I could see the cashier exchanging amused glances with the person bagging my groceries. I guess I was weird to be wearing a hat, to them. Maybe ten years ago that would have bothered me, but now I just felt nothing. After all, they don't get paid to be fashion police! Yet this kind of behavior can be very anxiety provoking to Aspies.

I think social anxiety is part of AS even though you can have it without it. I think AS can evolve into SA due to experiences or becoming self aware.

If you dress up a bit while wearing a straw hat, it's actually quite fashionable these days for a woman. Not so much a man though, sorry guys. Like a sundress or a skirt, or even just nicer t-shirt with sandals and pants/shorts that fit well, and you'll fit in. You may still get looks, but they might not be bad ones. Only in the summer though. Winter and a straw hat and you'll still get the looks.

Sorry to derail the conversation.

Not autistic, but I find my own social anxiety only happens when I'm depressed, and stems from how I feel about myself, and so I don't consider it social anxiety for myself. Like, I know that when I'm feeling guilty and upset, I feel badly about myself, and I know that small things can bring on me trying to hold back tears or an outburst of anger. Who wants to cry or rage publicly? Furthermore, social interaction is, like, the root of all emotions, so yeah, I don't want to be in public then, but no, I don't consider myself socially anxious but rather, easily upset.

I hate being on crowds I get really weird feeling im not sure if that is anxiety or not.

I go to the supermarket because I have to, but I don't linger. I get the main things I need and bounce. Unfortunately, and it always happens, I leave without getting everything I want. To me, the shorter the time, the better.

BTW, I view social anxiety as being different in your doctor's context of walking into a store. I think of it more like avoiding social groups altogether. In a supermarket, I'm not socializing or being forced to. In a group meeting, however, I'm a complete wallflower. I actually belong to Square Pegs in Seattle and have never been to a meeting.

Thank you - I thought he was out to lunch on that one. I tried to tell him it is not just anxiety entering a store - but the lights, noise, and what not in the environment. I am a 46 year old female - he thought it unlikely I could get this far in life undiagnosed - he said so a few times. Anyways - it was a disappointing appointment and it just rankles me - you can say I have social anxiety, sure - agreed - but it left me less than confident when I thought he was wrong on that one - it was too general to say that people with AS can walk into a store, no problem - social anxiety, a problem. Surely some can - surely some can't - as you two have illustrated. And, as you said, Joe - even just the environment. Oh well, I kind of expected this would not be an enlightening appointment. C'est la vie. He said, even if it were the case - and I it could be that I am high-functioning - so what? So what is I have other family members that may well benefit from this piece of information and so what is struggling with life as long as I have - geez, if there is an answer - let me have it. I have never found anything that so clearly puts life in perspective for me. And you know - maybe it is so - maybe I don't have AS - just some traits - but please, hear me out and be PATIENT - sometimes the first thing out of my mouth is not what I mean to say. As soon as I asserted that I did not say everything was great up to grade 8 - he said, yes you did. Disagree with authority and start crying, lady - makes things worse. I know - no one was there to see - I am relating subjectively from my side and maybe I was a difficult patient - I can just say - honest - a close knit tiny community school where I had teachers adapt school to me - worked ahead on my own, etc - versus a big city school - 'back when' - and I love learning - it's not the same thing as saying everything was great to that point - he emphasized the 'great' after I disagreed that I said that 'everything was great up to that point' - logical fallacy batman - and you know, he may be a fine doctor, otherwise - but when I told him that this is apparently a different experience for girls/women and yes, people can get through life that far without a diagnosis - he was dubious. I can't make one - maybe he is right - maybe he is fine for most other people and various problems - and I am not endearing because when I feel someone is in error, I will say so. I was not saying he was in error about his general opinion - I don't know - obviously I need someone experienced with adult aspergers - particularly in females. Am I wrong to want an answer? Had I felt confident with his assessment - okay - but I'm not - so, now I have some insurance money to try plan 'B' with a psychologist - plan 'A' did not cost me money at all- so, it was worth a shot.

Am I wrong to want to know? Maybe not everyone cares - yes, I am 'high-functioning' - but not in every aspect and frankly - sometimes I could use a few accommodations, sometimes I could just use an answer, sometimes I would just like to say - you know, this is difficult for me 'because ...', so please don't take offense or push me. I don't know. I don't know. Geez - would I even be there if everything was hunky-dory? We didn't even get to the assessment tools - I don't think he'd want to see them - I scored high - not diagnostic - but, hey - helpful?

Thank you, LM

Thank you all - sorry for ranting out here - I just know - I know what anxiety attacks feel like - I tried telling him that even if not anxious - I cannot stand - say, the clatter, lights and smells of a cafeteria. I at least felt like it fell on deaf ears - maybe not - but it felt that way.

LM

I'm pretty sure I have social anxiety because I have AS. I know, when I walk up to the counter, that I might not be able to respond appropriately to what the cashier says. I know from experience I'm likely to offend someone or attract ridicule. Every interaction is a test I couldn't study for.

That's in addition to the fact that I might face fluorescent lights, horrible sounds and textures, and the chaos of a crowd. I can't imagine most people with AS have "no problem" under those circumstances.

You are not wrong to want to know! I went through something similar, because I was seeing a social worker who had a strong suspicion that I was on the spectrum. She referred me to a visit with a psychiatrist who, after putting me through hours of testing, bluntly told me that I had PTSD. She based this upon my sensory issues, And she wouldn't have had that ammunition to shoot me down with, if I hadn't told her about my PTSD in the first place. PTSD is often co-morbid with autism/aspergers. When I saw a psychiatrist later on, she did not subject me to a bunch of tests, but instead opted to meet with me once a week and take her time observing me and asking me questions about various things. After about a month, she diagnosed me with Aspergers. So your plan to meet with a psychologist is a good one, IMO! Good luck!

Last edited by hartzofspace on 16 Aug 2012, 4:35 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Anxiety is one of the highest co-morbids with Aspergers.


TheSunAlsoRises

There are lots of reasons why someone with Aspergers could be anxious walking into a store or restaurant. One reason is the sensory issues. Another could be social anxiety.

People with AS don't necessarily have social anxiety. But, a fair proportion do. I can guess that being in social situations which are confusing or humiliating and incidences of bullying would result in a person becoming anxious in various social situations. For a person with Aspergers to not develop any form of social anxiety, I suspect they'd have to not have noticeable social difficulties or to be blissfully unaware of the effect they are having on people or to not care about how they are perceived. There are probably other reasons why they wouldn't develop social anxiety, but I can think of more reasons for developing it.

I suspect I'm one of those people who didn't start out with social anxiety, but it developed as I grew aware of being perceived as weird or annoying or something. I don't know what it was, but people weren't being nice to me (it felt like retaliation for me not being nice to them) and I didn't know what I was doing to deserve it. At the age of 7, I became anxious in a variety of social situations.

Going into a busy place for me is like going on a commando raid.

High adrenalin
Trying to stay focused on achieving my goal
In and out quick
Feels like I am surrounded by hostiles

My Psychologist said it sounded like PTSD, although I am not aware of any traumatic events happing in my life to cause me to have these kinds of feelings.