How often does your family crush you?

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2wheels4ever
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11 Aug 2012, 5:32 pm

As in criticize, suggest, nag, demand, correct, invalidate, disregard, compare, lament, complain, or tell you their lives are less stressful when you're not there? Even if you're not doing a thing to bother anyone do they seek out things to pick at you for?

Do they often capitalize on your inability to issue a prompt rebuttal?

If they limit their hurtful comments to a few days or more in between do they show patterns that show you that your confidence is about to go on the chopping block?

If you've ever had any real dialog with them, have you been the one to make all the concessions while they go along their merry way or pay lip service to 'communicating' with you? Do they promptly go back on their end of the bargain and claim they never agreed to that?

These are some rhetorical questions, but on the upshot how often are they willful in refusing to just leave you alone?


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MightyMorphin
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11 Aug 2012, 5:38 pm

Wow, you just explained my life story.

Are we twins and we were split at birth?



2wheels4ever
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11 Aug 2012, 5:57 pm

MightyMorphin wrote:
Wow, you just explained my life story.

Are we twins and we were split at birth?


If there was a consumer-grade form of time-travel possible to place 1 aspie twin in the early 1970s and the other in the early 1990s, on separate continents no less, then yes. A far more plausible explanation lies in the nascent stage of IVF back then, if you do a thumbnail sketch inquiry you'll find that the first successful live birth was in the mid-1970s.

Anyway I find it ironic that the 1 place I should be able to go without a mask is dominated by Autismophobes


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TowerCrane
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11 Aug 2012, 6:00 pm

I can relate to this a lot.



Who_Am_I
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11 Aug 2012, 6:08 pm

They don't since my parents (i.e., my father, because my mother was never like that) moved away.


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SlyFox
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11 Aug 2012, 6:38 pm

This happens with me , my parents, and my friends Alot.
my parents sweep my valid points and rebuttals under a rug and do nothing since they see them as no big deal.
My "friends" kind of either treat me like the third wheel and treat me like I have no opinion or they get over critical and tell me i never said anything or "Showed" intrest. When I try to explain all over again the aspie thing, but they keep forgetting I am a whole different frequency to theirs. and it comes to the point where I have to turn off the caring switch and go into Ice Queen mode.



Cogs
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11 Aug 2012, 6:39 pm

Every time I interact with them. I think it is unintentional on their part but comes from not accepting or understanding me, and trying to force their ideas of who and how I should be on me.


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KaminariNoKage
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11 Aug 2012, 6:48 pm

There needs to be a more emphatic word than [b]YES!! !![/b]

I always find it ironic - we get stressed out by our own "problems" - and then take it out on ourselves. They get stressed out by us "existing" - and then take it out on us. So glad I am finding this more and more humerus otherwise I would be perfectly happy to put a bullet in my head after every time I go home.



alecazam3567
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11 Aug 2012, 6:59 pm

My dad does that. Pretty much all of it. But my mom is supportive in everything I do and she's pretty easygoing. Maybe it's because she also has symptoms of Asperger's and just understands me better, while my dad is 100% neurotypical and has no idea how a person can spend hours alone in their room.



SlyFox
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11 Aug 2012, 7:00 pm

KaminariNoKage wrote:
There needs to be a more emphatic word than [b]YES!! !![/b]

I always find it ironic - we get stressed out by our own "problems" - and then take it out on ourselves. They get stressed out by us "existing" - and then take it out on us. So glad I am finding this more and more humerus otherwise I would be perfectly happy to put a bullet in my head after every time I go home.


I know right but it's like we need to get them to see that they perpetuate our issues with their No emotion criticisims.
I used to be locked in my shell constantly due to them the moment my doc told me my aspie pin, and I researched It all Clicked slowly like the puzzle of our minds. This is why for all those years, I was mentally Tormented. So I decided I would embrace my weirdness and share it with others the ones who like it are worth trying to friend.



CockneyRebel
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11 Aug 2012, 7:01 pm

Every time that a celebrity that I look up to passes away.


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Cogs
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11 Aug 2012, 7:12 pm

KaminariNoKage wrote:
I would be perfectly happy to put a bullet in my head after every time I go home.
Oh yes....


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infilove
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19 Aug 2012, 8:13 pm

Yes indeed although i think inadvertently. My dissability can be frustrating to people sometimes especially when i have a hard time understanding directions and to complete a requested task properly due to my struggle in focusing and interferenceing. this can really frustrate my dad and step mom and sometimes when they gave me advice on correcting my struggle they can be kind of harsh and it makes me feel belittled and shamed. sometimes they can come the point of almost calling me an idiot and on occasions have when i fail to do a task correctly. my dad often actually gets frustrated when i ask him to clarify a task he asks me to do so i can make sure to do it right and i think that's kind of ignorant to act that way when A he's my father and B he's asking me to do a favor for him.


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windtreeman
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19 Aug 2012, 8:58 pm

This was really interesting coming from someone who suspects but isn't diagnosed. My Dad was (and still is on the phone) very, very condescending with an incredible short temper and extremely controlling personality. I get at least one phone call a month from him where he berates me for being unemployed which is terrifically sad because I've picked up so many of the same passions (obsessions, ha) as him in music, cars, etc. With the rest of my family, I regret to say, I'm probably the primary source of negativity mainly because I'm always harshly correcting every verbal mistake, driving error and all that. None of it is as cruel and demeaning as my Dad though. I've also become incredibly efficient with witty rebuttals so I never, ever lose an argument which definitely eases some of my tension but probably makes life hell for the rest of the family.



CyborgUprising
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19 Aug 2012, 9:57 pm

I was not permitted to have opinions on anything and was not permitted to be present near company. My siblings were, just not me. It would be far too embarrassing for an "upstanding religious family" to have a defect for offspring. People would start assuming they didn't go to services enough or pay enough alms. It doesn't bother me much at all, since I can logically "understand" their motives and desire to keep up appearances and satisfy/impress (fake and conceited) friends.



metaldanielle
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19 Aug 2012, 10:45 pm

My family makes sure my life is a living hell.