So my son has been diagnosed with Asperger's....

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My son, who is three years and two months of age has been diagnosed with Asperger's, however the more I read the more unconvinced I become. I do however recognize that he is "different".

Upon reading the DSM definition on the Asperger's Syndrome Wiki page I immediately see problems with the diagnosis.

In regard to point #1 on that page, none of the qualitative impairments fit my son.

In regard to point #2, I suppose that all of these fit, however I could argue against the term "abnormal either in intensity or focus" (how do you measure what is "normal"?). I could also argue against "nonfunctional routines or rituals" as they do in fact have function and I can see that its soothing.

My son exhibits echolalia and his primary means of verbal communication involves using portions of songs or stories that he has heard rather than normal conversation. For example, if I cough or sneeze (something which particularly upsets him) he will recite a portion of a song that refers to the head.

He is clearly very intelligent and his interests are quite diverse. His focus on those interests is intense and its very difficult to grab his attention when he is involved, solving a jigsaw puzzle for example (something which he is brilliant with).

I would very much like to hear the thoughts of others and also to be asked whatever questions you may feel are relevant.

Perhaps it's a bit early to tell? I have AS and didn't really notice my social difficulties until I got into middle school. Before that, the social world was simple enough to get by unnoticed. It might be revealing to see how he does with kindergarten.

Clearly if echolalia is his primary means of verbal communication then we are going to see social problems coming up unless its addressed.

The definition states:

"Qualitative impairment in social interaction, as manifested by at least two of the following:

1. Marked impairments in the use of multiple nonverbal behaviors such as eye-to-eye gaze, facial expression, body posture and gestures to regulate social interaction
2. Failure to develop peer relationships appropriate to developmental level
3. lack of spontaneous seeking to share enjoyment, interest or achievements with other people (e.g., by a lack of showing, bringing, or pointing out objects of interest to other people)
4.lack of social or emotional reciprocity"

My son exhibits advanced use of eye contact, facial expressions, posture and hands.

My son has a nine month old sister toward whom he expresses genuine affection and tolerance (to a point )

Just yesterday my son came to me with one of his talking toys. He had discovered a key combination that when executed would raise the voice of the toy to a cartoon squirrel (a software bug, not intended functionality in the toy). He looked at me with a sly grin, executed the the key combination then cracked up laughing. No problem with spontaneous sharing whatsoever.

If his sister is very upset, he gets upset... no lack of empathy.

What "qualitative impairments" are you looking at specifically? I failed to find the portion of the website that you are referring to.
"Normal" is what the majority of children his age are like. Most children will flit from activity to activity quite readily, and easily bore of an activity. I have observed this of my own and other children.
"Non-functional routines" - what this probably means is that they have no purpose, other than to sooth him and quell his anxiety.

Just quoted above the "qualitative impairments".

He does get bored and moves onto other activities. I don't see what the problem is if he likes a jigsaw for example and has the patience to complete it in one sitting. So, his attention span is above average..... why is that a problem?

I don't recall knowing ANY child who has not done things to soothe themselves......

I'd also remember that while the diagnostic guidelines exist, they aren't necessarily the only factors that play part.

I think you're right--Asperger's probably isn't the right term for it. He certainly has some autistic traits, but they're all language-related. Have you talked to the doctor about the possibility that he might have a more specific speech/language disorder?

Is he getting speech therapy? However good he is at non-verbals, he will need to have a good grasp on words to get along well at school. If he's particularly smart, you could try encouraging literacy; not formal reading lessons, not at this age, but plenty of exposure to books, letters, being read to. It helps to learn speech if you can see it written right in front of you. If he turns out to be decent at reading, that can help. It helped me. At the very worst, he'll have more exposure to different ways of expressing things, and a larger library of things to quote from when he wants to communicate.

By the way, his speech delay excludes him from an Asperger's diagnosis, by the book. Echolalia counts as a speech delay--even though in his case it is functional echolalia.

Play part of what?

Either we have a valid diagnosis or we do not. I just do not see it as valid, from those guidelines or any other I have read.

I don't think you should dismiss the possibility he does have AS, or the possibility that you simply can't see how the criteria applies to your son.
I also don't think an attention span is a problem, but it is considered a sign of AS if the child has usual interests and is able to focus on them intensely as most children don't. "His focus on those interests is intense and its very difficult to grab his attention when he is involved, solving a jigsaw puzzle for example (something which he is brilliant with). " You said yourself he focuses very intensely on things like jigsaw puzzles and it is difficult to distract him. This is a sign of AS. (This was also one of the symptoms of my AS when I was a child, I was amazingly good at jigsaw's. I would do 100piece blank jigsaw puzzles at 4 years old.)

Why is he soothing himself and not looking to someone else to sooth him? I think that's probably the point. I have never noticed any of my three children soothing themselves, they look to me for comfort, they would struggle to do this for themselves at their ages (1, 4 & 7).

How many children do you have? Have you compared him to other children of his own age?
Personally I would trust the professionals and hope that with a diagnosis he gets all the help he needs, without one he would quite possibly slip through the cracks, especially at school.

His vocabulary is exceptional. He can recite both songs and stories verbatim (complex, not just simple nursery rhymes/stories), no problem. He does understand them, not just parroting. He knows to speak with me in English and his mother Spanish. He knows body parts in English, Spanish, French and Italian.

I have seen echolalia mentioned numerous times in connection with Asperger's, so I don't see how you can say it excludes. I think that educational toys have in fact encouraged the echolalia... we are moving on to more one on one teaching and the toys are disappearing.

All children soothe themselves, clearly you just have not noticed. With many its quite subltle..... stroking the corner of a pillow, sucking a thumb, cuddling a favourite soft toy, security blanket. Mine likes a small baby towelette..... he runs it across his fingers, across his face.... He only does this in bed, or when he is very tired and wants a nap. Perfectly normal, read about it.

According to everything I have read on the subject, soothing yourself is a skill you learn, not something you automatically have. My children have always been attended to, right or wrong, and have no or few skills in this area. Clearly I have observed my children and noticed they do not do this.

So when they wake at night they scream and you must coming running to soothe them again? Even a seven year old? I feel sorry for them.

Children are actually quite resourceful and if you won't teach them they do eventually learn all by themselves. I doubt you know what they do when they wake at two in the morning.....

I was wondering why you sought a diagnosis when you seem so set against him having the diagnosis?

Also, to get more parent perspectives, maybe you can present this question in the parent discussion board.

When they wake at two in the morning they come and find me. I don't care if you agree with my parenting or not.

If you are not interested in anybody's opinions unless they are the same as yours, then why seek them? Personally I think you are simply in denial. There's nothing wrong with your kid because he has AS, he's just different. He learns in a different way, reacts in a different way, needs a little help in some areas. So do most people. It would be much more useful to accept his diagnosis and find him help than reject it and ignore his needs.

Did you come here simply to find somebody to disagree/argue with or insult? Because that seems to be all you have done, obviously you need somewhere to vent your frustrations. You should try getting a counsellor. If you're not interested in people's opinions, don't ask for them.

As I pointed out above, we recognize that our son is "different". I am not against a diagnosis, so long at it is correct. I don't believe that Asperger's is the correct diagnosis and have yet to see a valid argument supporting it. The fact that *some* things with our son correlate with Asperger's does not mean that is what he has. I have pointed out some core points of Asperger's diagnosis to which our son simply does not fit.

The World is full of health care "professionals" whose main concern is how much money they can make and a diagnosis such as this is in their favor. Sad, but true.