How can you smoothly switch topics in a conversation?
It seems when I'm talking to someone or even texting I have issues with knowing how to properly switch the topic. I think I come across spastic because I'm always trying to keep the conversation going by trying to change topics. I think I see a lull in the conversation then ask or say something just to keep them talking. Then I feel like a weirdo because I can't really just do the small talk thing and I come to the conclusion that nobody will ever like me because I can't have a real conversation or talk normal and so on and so on. Any tips would be great.
_________________
I see your lips moving, but all I hear is, oh, look!! ! A cat...
This has always plagued me. Just when I think I'm doing alright, I blurt.
I've come to realize that those who know me are able to keep up. Those who don't know me may get a strange look on their face, so then I can tell I have to backtrack. I usually tell them I'm sorry for interrupting, had they finished? Or, I just ask them directly about whatever they were saying. Using excuse me helps, but I still can see later that I'm interrupting the flow. It's something I've gotten used to, I guess.
I heard a good one the other day, which is to keep checking, as in repeat back what they said, then once they acknowledge that you've heard them, try to switch.
One of my favorites is saying, "Well, this may be a bit off-topic, but..."
Usually, if the NT is dead set on maintaining their topic, they'll swing back to it after I interrupt. At this point, I may just say I have something I have to attend to and leave. hahahaha!
What I do (I think this comes more naturally to me) is I will talk about a subject, and it will a lot of times evolve on it's own. For example, you can be talking about the weather when someone might say they enjoy taking a ride in their convertible. Then that goes into a discussion of the LS-1 motor or how their car is a well tuned 3800, while someone prefers a good Mustang. Usually a topic will be over when it's silent and then you can make a point of something that would interest them or maybe something that has an open topic. Another thing is you can say something on topic but pointing to a different direction but don't try to force it. If you have no clue about art but are talking to an artist, I've learned from my wife to ask open ended questions and try to learn.
HTH
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Joined: 6 Jun 2009
Age: 37
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,136
Location: New Bern, North Carolina
Sometimes if there is a lull in the conversation and i want to try to keep it going with something then i'll bring up something random that i feel like talking about to try to get something going. For the most part I tend to stay on a topic for too long, though. Sometimes it is just getting stuck on the details of something and having difficulty transitioning to the next topic, and a lot of the time it's talking about my special interest. I've been improving a bit with that though(i think). I have an ADHD friend who is the opposite and is constantly switching topics. It's not even just to keep the conversation going, because we could be talking about one thing and he just suddenly starts talking about something else with no transition.
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