New Member/Intolerance from Family & Friends

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I'm new to WP and this is my first post. I was diagnosed with Asperger's Syndrome on Feb. 2 of this year. Currently, I am twenty-four and a third-year law student at UNC-Chapel Hill. I just wanted to say "hello" to everyone using WP.

Has anyone experienced intolerance from their own support network? Here are a few examples from my life: (1) After I told one of my brothers I had Asperger's, he made widely inappropriate comments about one of our other brothers looking autistic in his childhood picture and said stuff like “it looks like no one is home.” (2) Less than two months after I was diagnosed, my girlfriend broke up with me. She claimed it was because we didn't communicate well and not a result of me having Asperger's. (3) My current roommate made fun of a girl with Asperger's at a bar and said that I should hit on her (he doesn't know I have Asperger's). (4) After I was diagnosed but before I told him, another one of my brothers acted like an complete fool and jokingly said that he thought he had it.

As a result, I want to hide my diagnosis for fear that people will think I have "something wrong with my head" (an actual phrase I heard someone say about Asperger's). What do you all think of this intolerance? How can I get a support system that actually helps provide support for me?

People on the spectrum do have something wrong with their head, including me. Especially me.

Really though, intolerance will always exist. I reached the point quite some time ago where I no longer care what others think. I have HFA, and being hurt by other peoples negative opinions won't result in anything positive, and I'll still have HFA at the end of the day.

Not diagnosed yet (seeing somebody for that next month) but I can certainly relate to this. I recently totally cut off somebody I had been friends with for more than 10 year because he thought that it was ok to verbally lay into me because we had decided to look for a shared house with some other friends and I had struggled to attend a couple of the appointments because I was having the WORST symptoms of anxiety EVER on the days in question and I TOLD him this and he has claimed to be understanding about these things. Nevertheless he thought it was ok to properly insult me, telling me I was being brat-ish, lazy and couldn't be arsed with doing anything to help toward this. What a tit.

NT's are herd creatures. We live in a society that over-emphasizes competition and on top of that we are culturally subjected to mass media that promotes discrimination, judgment, intolerance, etc... They can't help themselves, they're unfortunately born that way. So long as they seek reassurance from the herd, they shut down any critical thinking capabilities. They literally live to be herded, like cattle.

The biggest problems people on the spectrum have, come from environmental and social factors, not anything inherently "wrong with their head". Out society isn't designed to tolerate difference, it's designed to produce consumers.

I accept myself the way that I am, because nobody else will.

For me, I think years of being 'bright' and extremely successful in school (not socially or athletically, ha! Grades/awards/test scores) in a family history that had previously found trouble succeeding on an intellectual level has afforded me a sort of impenetrable shield of respect. Despite being incredibly unusual, most of my relatives are fairly accepting of my issues so in the past, when I brought up being diagnosed with IBS, they were generally receptive and caring despite the fact that I doubt a single person not suffering from IBS has the slightest clue as to its symptoms beyond assumptions. That said, when I recently asked them about Asperger's Syndrome and what they thought, I got the same reaction. Now my Dad, on the other hand, whew not so much. He's exactly how you described some of your friends/brothers. I stopped mentioning IBS to him years ago and would never dare bring up any Asperger's because the first thing out of his mouth would be 'you're just looking for an excuse to be lazy' so I know how you feel and agree that if you are sensitive to the responses, being selective about who you tell would probably be beneficial.

My mum once told me that my Autism isn't that bad. Her reason being because I go out. Right, my interests include films and running. When I go out, (when I'm not buying stuff) I am either running, at a support group or going to watch a film.

If I didn't have those interests, I would be in my room all the time.

I've also had 2 strangers tell me I'm not on the spectrum.

I'm a fellow 'sled dog' here - gotta keep moving!

That "lazy" part burns me up the most. I take it upon myself to do things and its still not good enough because its not done in a certain way or at someone else's deadline.

So to be accused of retreating all the time when I "get in everyone else's way" is complete BS!!

When I cashiered at Sam's Club I rang up 300 customers a day and 17000 items per week. But what did I get for it? A slip for not selling credit applications, which was not even a primary job function!

LOL the only thing that saved me was that all cashiers where I work refused to push credit applications, even with commission offered as incentive. They had to get a designated person to do it. I was lightning fast but couldn't sell something I knew was a bad deal for most customers.

I don't bother mentioning it to anyone because everyone assumes since I have a full time job and don't live in 23 hour isolation that I couldn't possibly have it. They go by Hollywood stereotypes and can't perceive that all Aspies are different.

Oh, and welcome to Wrong Planet!