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RawSugar
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17 Oct 2012, 8:42 pm

does anyone feel more comfortable private messaging people on here? I know that I do. I think it might have something to do with being uncomfortable with the chaos and sheer volume of the idea of a forum.
Just wondering.



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17 Oct 2012, 8:45 pm

I've always preferred pming friends as opposed to having a "public" conversation in a particular thread.


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InThisTogether
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17 Oct 2012, 8:55 pm

I am the opposite. PMing is less comfortable for me in most cases and I have only done it a few times on this forum. I also would prefer to speak to large groups of people over individuals. I speak publicly on a professional level, as a matter of fact, and dread any time I have to speak to others on a more personal level.

I think one reason I don't like PMing is I don't know how to end the conversation. On a thread, I just stop responding when I don't have anything else to say. But that seems weird 1:1. In fact, that is one reason why I like online forums. You can come and go from conversations more easily. I do not have very pronounced difficulties with communication IRL, but one of them is entering and exiting conversations. I know I am awkward with both.


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Jaden
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17 Oct 2012, 10:42 pm

RawSugar wrote:
does anyone feel more comfortable private messaging people on here? I know that I do. I think it might have something to do with being uncomfortable with the chaos and sheer volume of the idea of a forum.
Just wondering.


Actually I've never received PM's here on the site. I don't expect I ever will either, given that I have no friends here.

But to answer your question in a theoretical standpoint, it would depend on the conversation. If it were more personal, then PM's would be better. If it were generalized, it wouldn't be much different than a thread I imagine.


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again_with_this
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17 Oct 2012, 10:47 pm

Agreed with InThisTogether.

I'll PM someone if what I'm saying maybe too off topic in a general thread, but I think things should be discussed openly. Even if your opinion isn't too popular, at least it's out there, and maybe someone else will get it. More importantly, you shouldn't allow yourself to be afraid to express your ideas and thoughts. I thought that was the main aim of this site, not to make "friends" and form little cliques and an array of private messages.

@Jaden: Again, the whole idea of making "friends" seems odd, as this is first and foremost a discussion board...and allegedly a support group.

OP: Should I have PMed this too you?



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17 Oct 2012, 10:59 pm

again_with_this wrote:
@Jaden: Again, the whole idea of making "friends" seems odd, as this is first and foremost a discussion board...and allegedly a support group.


Sorry, I should've clarified that. I wasn't saying that I wanted to make friends on the site. I was saying I have no friends that are on the site that I've previously known.

Hope that clears that up.


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blakkwaltz
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18 Oct 2012, 10:26 am

spam up my pm box dawgs :D

i like both though pming has more privacy



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18 Oct 2012, 11:04 am

Yeah sometimes, but sometimes not. I tend to type a lot and people don't like that, I don't even like it at times. I'm working on it.


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18 Oct 2012, 1:12 pm

I don't mind either. The forums or PMing are fine with me.

Sometimes the chatroom can get a little chaotic, though.


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18 Oct 2012, 1:25 pm

I'm fine with whatever form of communication someone wants to use with me. However, if in response to a publically discussed subject, I prefer to be asked in that thread so that the discussion may be of benefit to more than one person. I've never tried the chat room though. I might have to do that in the wee hours of the morning some time!


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emimeni
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18 Oct 2012, 1:33 pm

outofplace wrote:
I'm fine with whatever form of communication someone wants to use with me. However, if in response to a publically discussed subject, I prefer to be asked in that thread so that the discussion may be of benefit to more than one person. I've never tried the chat room though. I might have to do that in the wee hours of the morning some time!


The chatroom really isn't active in the wee hours of the morning in the Central Time Zone.


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CockneyRebel
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18 Oct 2012, 7:50 pm

I feel more comfortable posting on the message boards than through private messages. Somebody that I liked and trusted sent me a nasty PM breaking up our friendship, a while ago. That put a bad taste in my mouth. That's the reason that I prefer the message boards. I'm the complete opposite.


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NHASPIE629
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18 Oct 2012, 7:55 pm

I like both. I like being personal with a pm but also being able to talk to a few people at once.
It's nice with anything like this online. I can think about what I want to say and delete or change anything I've put down. I can't do that talking to someone face to face. I just start to stumble.

If I have to choose though. I choose pm. Less to look at and read. Easier to keep up with.



revertigo
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18 Oct 2012, 8:21 pm

Pm is more attractive in that it allows the idea of discussing a topic with somebody of familiarity most of the time with the ability to delve deeper into a topic than you would with the forum. Swearing and strong religeous and political opinions can be expressed without the fear of an electronic brawl. But finding people to pm is very difficult. The irony of a bunch of people that are generally quit lost and lonely, all together in one place but each to awkward and shy to pm is in ways humorous. It's like attending a social anxiety convention.
Public discussion allows for growth, expanding and being challenged. It is also good for learning how to behave in certain real life social situations. But people know that to post on a public forum they must (or sometimes choose to) act differently to what they normaly would. This just adds confusion into the whole public chat. It's controlled chaos, and must be experienced.