Anxious with new people or everyone?
i was looking something up about AS and it caught my eye. It said that not everyone with AS shows social anxiety with all people. for me, im mostly anxious around new people, with high amounts of anxiety, then less anxiety with people i know well, E.G. my sister. i was wondering if this is the same for other people?
I have no anxiety when I am comfortable with someone. That can take time. I am now finally comfortable with my coworkers and it's been 2 months. Some though I do not like and am anxious around and do not associate with. One guy I was able to communicate with right away and form a relationship with.
If I have an established relationship with them I have no anxiety. It takes time!
Gosh, it really does vary.
My diagnosis is Social Anxiety (not been tested for Aspergers but I have some similar traits so I come here all the same lol....I identify more with people on here than on social anxiety forums anyway) and I am not anxious around all people. It can depend on the people involved, how accepting they are of me and the situation or context.
For example I have no problem with ringing the gas board to arrange a direct debit...it is their job to do so. I have no problem asking a shop assistant where the tinned sardines are...again it is her job to know and give me directions.
The problem sets in when I have to make social chit chat. At the supermarket I am there to shop, not to make friends or make chitty chat...I have gone there for my tinned sardines not to socialise.
Now when I have to make social chitty chat...that is when I get nervous, mostly because I accidentally annoy people and get bullied a lot. People also think I am slow and talk to me like I am an idiot, which frustrates and annoys me.
I am also very shy around men I find to be incredibly sexually attractive.
However, if the person seems to be accepting of me then my social anxiety fades very quickly and I am fine (still annoying with my various quirks but if the person does not mind them then any anxiety I am feeling goes away).
I also do not like groups and tend to prefer one on one chitty chats. Groups give me a headache lol. I really do not do groups if I can help it!! !! !
It is rarely about embarrassment though, hence why I do not identify with people on social anxiety forums. I really do not care if I knock my coffee over or walk into a lamp post...it happens, I am kind enough to warn people and tell them not to wear white if I am meeting them for a drink, yes I can be clumsy but mostly I find it funny because I am used to it lol. It is just me. Very me lol
I am nicknamed bumble for a reason...I was not the most graceful of children and my father gave me the name because I bumbled around, walked into things a lot and was rather clumsy.
People panic when I walk into a china shop..
In general, I'm a lot more anxious around and distrustful of people who I don't know very well - the more I get to know someone, the easier it is to socialize with them.
Though there are some people who I do know well - in my own family, no less - who make me feel uncomfortable even though they're not abusive towards me.
Initially, I went to answer this by agreeing that I mostly feel awkward and anxious around new people, but that's not really true. There are people who set me at ease almost immediately, and there are situations where new people do not phase me at all. There are people I've known for years I feel very uncomfortable around, and there are times I can be around my closest friends and still feel very uncomfortable based on what we're doing at that moment.
I think it comes down mostly to how 'in control' I feel over a situation at any moment, and then down to how comfortable I feel around the people I'm in that moment with. Perhaps it's the other way around, hard to say.
This board makes me think too much =/
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