What do people enjoy at parties?
I may be asking the wrong bunch, but at least on a theoretical level you might be able to tell me.
For me, a party is a place I can't talk to anyone because it's so dark and noisy, the music drives me berserk because it's not the kind I like by far, I don't like alcohol and it makes me drowsy, my feet hurt from standing for so long and on high heels, the clothes and make-up are uncomfortable and I hate dancing. And late at night all I want is to rest, and eventually sleep.
But I'm very curious as to why most people love parties, so if you know, please explain...
Now a party where there are a few high-class shows on a stage, gourmet food in great quantities, everyone is dressed ultra-elegant, the music is background, soft music, you can watch the sunset from the breezy balcony, there's some interesting lecture or conversation going on, that I do like!
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There are two means of refuge from the miseries of life: music and cats - Albert Schweitzer
Somberlain
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Yes, I hate parties but I have a theory. Also my NT relative gave me some extra information, so here they are:
NT people have also self confidence issues and barriers. To get close to another person both physically and mentally, they have to find an excuse. Loud music basically make them half-deaf, so they need to get close to talk (thus, crappy music with beats is essential). In darkness, people appear more beautiful/handsome. Alcohol deals with the superego and the pride. High heels, perfumes and fancy clothes make people attractive and they also give an idea about the social class they belong to (money talks).
So, they want to get close to someone and parties create chances.
My relative gave me some tips about wearing perfume before going to a party. ''Applying it to just below of the ears and to the wrists is essential'' he said. ''When they whisper to you, they can smell it well''. Sh*t, I hate perfumes and I've never been to a party... whatever.
Still, I can't understand the necessity of parties. People can sincerely interact with others and get what they want.
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English is not my native language. 1000th edit, here I come.
Last edited by Somberlain on 24 Aug 2012, 4:15 pm, edited 6 times in total.
Food is the #1 for me. They better have good food and lots of it. I do like to find someone to talk to, only one or two people at a time is OK. If the location is nice I'd like the view as well. I rarely go to a party alone, though, always with family and friends. So generally it's not too stressful. Since nobody in my entire family drink, we tend to leave early to avoid the drunken stage.
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Fiz
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What do people like about parties?
Social mingling with high volumes of people, dancing, flirting, drinking and smoking are some that I can think of at the top of my head after observing some of my friends at parties.
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I notice that at parties with loud music people sometimes begin to move all in pretty much the same way. There are loud basses, a 'beat' I think, and they all move in the rhythm of the music but at the same time in rhythm with each other. I can kind of follow the rhythm but I once watched a video someone had made and I coupld spot myself and noticed that while I moved according to the beat I stood out a bit. Others are closer to each other, they mind what other people do and their moves seem to depend on the moves others do.
So I guess that, while I can't socialize with others on parties like that but sometimes go there because I feel like I owe it to my friends, they connect as a mass of people and harmonize with each other without making a great effort to do so.
i've not been to many parties but from what i know most people enjoy:
Dancing
Drinking
Attempting to talk over the music
Sitting down if possible
Going outside, if possible
For me i recently went to a friends 18th. it was inside, but on the roof were football pitches (not full sized ofc). I spent a little time outside talking, a little time inside talking and a bit of time kicking the football around.
I also observed some people attempting to "chat up" others.
I don't mind going to parties, as long as the music is not extremely loud. When the music is too loud, it gets difficult for to hear people talk in the conversation. Secondly, I have to raise my voice as loud as I can until my throat gets sore. The family and college departmental parties that I go to are more peaceful and less noisy than those in college dorms and night clubs, serve good food, and don't involve drunken people.
I suppose parties are great for using all sorts of social crutches. Dress up, imbibe, smoke, lose half of what you say in the noise, give yourself as much exposure as you'd like, shrink away at convenient times, have party happenings to comment on if you're low on material.
Although I'd say the majority of parties I go to circle around mediocrity, quite a few of them are decent or good, and one or two are great. It tends to be time to go as soon as that lass seems to have gone. The added social crutches are a good thing for neuros to have around and sometimes good for you guys too, but there are drawbacks including pretension, arrogance, loud music, excessive drinking/whatever. It's a shame the drinking's so central because it brings everything down.
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I am not entirely sure as I hate parties, and the only ones I generally go to are holiday parties with my parents. I'm going to assume that people go because they enjoy other peoples' company, meeting new people, and talking about the things they do or are interested in (difference between us and them is that they know when to shut up and let the other person talk). It could also have to do with the music, food or atmosphere, all of which I generally don't enjoy, but there's obviously something about it that NT's like, because they keep going back! The last party I went to was my mom's new husband's son's graduation party. I brought a book and read the entire time.
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LtlPinkCoupe
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I mostly like the food. Food is pretty much the highlight of parties for me, and if it's one of those parties where there isn't any (or any that I like) then I don't really know what to do with myself. lol
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I've seen Paris Hilton loves partying, same for Prince William's new wife. If I had tons of money to spend, I'd like to see the world, save cats, discover things, etc. I can't for the life of me understand why those who can have it all, what they like most is getting closed up in a dark warehouse late at night when one's already tired, having to laugh histerically to show you're happy and having to consume lots of alcohol to feel good, wearing uncomfortable clothes. I just don't get it.
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There are two means of refuge from the miseries of life: music and cats - Albert Schweitzer
For me, a party is a place I can't talk to anyone because it's so dark and noisy, the music drives me berserk because it's not the kind I like by far, I don't like alcohol and it makes me drowsy, my feet hurt from standing for so long and on high heels, the clothes and make-up are uncomfortable and I hate dancing. And late at night all I want is to rest, and eventually sleep.
But I'm very curious as to why most people love parties, so if you know, please explain...
Now a party where there are a few high-class shows on a stage, gourmet food in great quantities, everyone is dressed ultra-elegant, the music is background, soft music, you can watch the sunset from the breezy balcony, there's some interesting lecture or conversation going on, that I do like!
I think "party" can mean very different things to different people. I'm assuming house parties? Most of the parties I have been to have been to mark a particular event e.g. christmas, new year, halloween, somebody's birthday, house-warming, house-leaving. I used to go to a lot but I don't really have friends these days as most of them were not good for me and I was trying to make myself fit into a mould which I don't really fit into. There will usually be 20ish people, maybe as few as 10 or as many as 50 at a very busy party. Sometimes if less than 10 or so people turn up the host will, possibly entirely without realising, start to call it a "low-key gathering" or something, presumably to sooth their hurt feelings. There is always a fair to high amount of drinking going on. At about 90% of the parties I have been to there has been weed smoking going on (if nobody else brings some I do, lol). At maybe 20% there have been some other drugs, usually coke or Es though I don't do anything aside from weed anymore. Variously, I think the reasons people enjoy these type of parties are:
being able to drink more, cheaply, and so getting more drunk than normal; laughing at/humiliating/drawing on people who get especially drunk; being able to do drugs/smoke openly which is not an option at a bar/club; getting drunk with/taking drugs with/socialising with friends who do not like going to bars/clubs; doing the same things with people who live far away and can crash at a house party; meeting new people/the opposite sex in a friendy, "safe" environment where it might be easier to get talking. Specifically for the hosts I also think they gain a lot of social currency/standing from doing it if the party is successful. If the hosts are a group of bachelors who share they are probably hoping they might get laid. For people who so desire then hosting several successful parties can ensure that their house will be their friendship group's "social-hub" so again I think that is probably an advantage for them.
Personally I would never host a party of this type. I don't really even go to parties anymore. But I particularly would not host one because I would hate having all of those people in my space and touching my stuff, not being able to make them leave when I wanted them to without seeming like an ass, not being able to go to bed when I wanted to because there were various people in my house, getting beer (and potentially bodily fluid) spilled everywhere, having to clean up all the cans/bottles/ash. Screw that!
btbnnyr
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People get drunk so they can get it off with their mates best friends.
I'm kidding.
People who are naturally social love being around others. They can do it constantly. Alcohol makes things more interesting. NT's could probably communicate just as fine with other people without it. Normally, they don't have a hypersensitivity to sound. Music creates atmosphere. Human beings must be well nourished though providing just alcohol and bowls of chips and whatnot may be counter-productive. It might all just come back up.
At the house parties my sister puts on we have some fabulous healthy meals. Some Italian, or Indian, some vegetarian and then kebabs on skewers, and also the bowl of chips. But with beetroot dip!
Pretty much all I look forward to at house parties is the food.
At the last house party I made friends with a bright but socially awkward 11 year old, and my remote control K-9 was a sure hit even with the more socially aware people.
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