Mystery of Relationships: Things I don't know

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Things that really baffle me about relationships are: what happens behind closed doors?


- What do you say to each other when there are only the two of you in a house, for example, and you are still new to each other?

- Where do you both sit, in relation to each other, while watching telly, for instance?

- How would you know when to approach your partner to cuddle, kiss, lay across each other on the sofa while watching telly or something like that?

What I'm getting at is: how do you do relationships? It's what I've never known.

This complete lack of knowledge about what regular couples do in the privacy of their own homes mystifies me.

It has always worried me & stopped me from taking things any further with women. I simply don't know how couples operate in private. Everybody I know seems to automatically know about this stuff & some of them are idiots! But I haven't a clue.

All I can do is "machine-gun" jokes, & sarcastic comments, non stop. I do that because I don't really know any other way, and I hate receiving & giving, nice, loving comments. Things like that give me the creeps.

Women can only take so much humour at their expense. That, I do know.

Don't pretend to be something you're not, especially when it's just the two of you. Try to relax, and just do what you normally do, it's the only way to figure out if the two of you are a fit or not. Nice, loving comments give me the creeps too, but that doesn't have to be a problem, as long as you show you care. Do something nice for her every now and then.

Not that I'm an expert, but you should feel at ease when you're with your partner, otherwise it won't work.

I haven't got any plans to get into a relationship, I just want to know what normal couples do.

When other people are around I appear to be entertaining but, one on one, with a woman, I feel massive pressure to be equally entertaining, so, all I can do is either ramble, or take the mickey.

I made the decision to not go on dates in the mid 1980's. I am useless.

Easier said than done, but try to relax and just have a good time. She'll feel more comfortable too, and she'll appreciate it if it seems like you're enjoting her company. Do whatever you feel like. Watch a movie, play a game.

I honestly don't remember, just small talk. If the time seems right you might share some more personal stuff. No need to rush that though.



Next to each other. Pretty much like when you go to the movies.



Can be a bit tricky, but look into her eyes, smile, and see what happens. If she continues watching the movie, or whatever you're doing, the time might not be right.

You don't need to do all the work yourself. If she likes you she'll do half of it.

This is good advice.

Relaxing is impossible for me, with my microanalysis of everything & constant feeling that I am acting.

Much appreciated.

Thank's.