About missing people.

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Just wondering if you tend to miss people? Family, partners, friends etc.

I haven't seen my boyfriend in almost a month (we have to do long distance for a while). I love him but I don't miss him a lot. I want him to be here but I sort of tend to not miss people that much. I'm fine and then there's the occasional day when I miss him a lot. Then I'm back to not thinking about it again. Then I miss him one day. Then I'm fine again. And on it goes. Some people would probably say that if I don't miss my boyfriend I don't love him and if I don't love him I shouldn't be with him. Why is that?

Sorry if this doesn't belong here.

It's normal to not miss someone when you aren't thinking about it. When you have your mind on other things, you don't feel like you miss them. My husband told me this is all normal.

I also don't get the logic either about if you don't miss someone, you don't love them. Maybe they assume you don't care about them perhaps? I think it's all projection. If they don't miss someone, it's because they don't love them. So if you don't miss him, you must not love him. But sadly when you try and explain it to people about how you operate, they won't listen.

I tend to not miss people either. I do sometimes. People tell me I miss someone anyway even if I don't feel it. That may also be projection and if I tell them I don't miss someone, they may think I am trying to be strong. My husband tells me I miss him and our son.

I've never missed a person as much as I've missed my aunt all the times she's had to leave after visiting. I think that has a lot to do with the fact that she understands me better than anybody and is always there to listen to me and give me boosts of confidence whenever I need them. I used to get full - blown depressed when she'd leave (when I was younger) but that's not as bad now that I'm older and am able to call or email her anytime.