Questions on getting diagnosis(es)

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Okay, I suspect I might have Asperger's, never got a diagnosis though. Some people quite close to me think that I may have depression, anxiety, or stress issues also. And seeing how every informal test I've ever taken for any mental or personality disorder (Autism/Asperger's, schizophrenia, bipolar, schizoid, borderline, depression, ADHD, OCD, schizotypal, paranoia, etc) have all basically said "you probably have this", I think that I really need to sorta figure out what's going on in my brain. I know that any one condition can cause you to score higher on other tests (ie: bipolar people will appear to have clinical depression due to their depressive states, Asperger's can cause you to feel depressed from a poor social life/love life, depression can cause you to appear to have Asperger's since you might not wanna be around people, overall a real mess.) so I think that I really need to figure out what I do or do not have.

So, my main concern is that I regularly contemplate whether it would be better to set things up so my organs could be donated, or to do things so the job could not possibly fail. Also I'm terrible around girls which only makes the thoughts more tempting. If I were to go to a doctor and see about a diagnosis for depression, would it also be important that I say "I may also have Asperger's causing me to feel depressed" or anything like that? Cause I'd hate to be misdiagnosed by not saying everything, but I'd also hate to need only a diagnosis of depression and then spend a ton of time getting diagnoses I don't need.

Also, how much effort is there usually in any diagnosis? I mean, are either one like I see with the people in TV shows who see psychologists constantly for months or years, or is getting a diagnosis of depression sorta like go into a doctor (not sure if GP or Psychologist) a couple of times, then get a prescription and just go in for checkups every once in a while after that. Also not sure about the same thing regarding Asperger's. Any advice on what to look for, how much effort either one takes, etc?

Thanks!

It depends where you are in the world, but I went through the NHS's Primary care counseling psychological therapies unit. There, talked about all and every concern I had. That way set my mind straight and got my Aspergers diagnosis. Counseling can refer people to other departments like psychiatry, neurology or other departments. It took some 16 weeks to get the diagnosis and possible referral to neurology department for possible Asperger Epilepsy.

I suppose I should specify United States/MN

I know nothing about the NHS, I assume you're in Britain. But it took 16 weeks to get a diagnosis? Like how much time did it require for you to participate? ie: did you have to see someone everyday, once a week, once a month, etc?

What makes you think you have Asperger's?
Firstly I'd say to spend more time in communities like this, reading blogs of people on the spectrum, etc. to get an idea of how different characteristics present themselves, autism is a very specific disorder and although it can be misdiagnosed you'd have a better idea of if you are autistic or not and separate it from depression or anything else you may be suffering from.

I'd say to go to your GP and get referred to a mental health team - diagnosis for any mental health disorder or neurological disorder doesn't happen overnight, if you suffer from something such as depression you really should consider seeking diagnosis and treatment for your own sake, THEN focus on whether or not you have autism. A menstrual health team will make an initial assessment, you could mention Asperger's to them during this assessment but know that it's unlikely you'd be sent straight for an autism assessment, it's more likely you'd be sent to a therapist and they could then determine if Asperger's is a possibility.

On the NHS (assuming you're in the UK) an assessment for Asperger's is around £2000, although they have to provide a pathway to diagnosis there is a shortage on professionals to make these assessments - after my own experience a few months ago I can also say that many of these 'experts' are not so expert on autism. The point being that it's expensive and resources are limited, so the NHS would unlikely allow you to go straight for autism assessment without first being assessed by a mental health team. Within the mental health system a therapist would have longer to get to know you to know whether you may be on the spectrum, and they'd be able to look into other issues you may have, and their referral for an autism assessment will be worth more than a GP.

My case;
I suspected autism so learned more, when I was certain I was autistic I went to my GP - my GP sent me to the mental health team, they saw me for one appointment and based on their assessment and history (Asperger's was suspected in my teens - no one told me) they decided autism was likely so referred me to the autism team. NHS put up a load of red tape, sending me back to the mental health team for another assessment - as I have no mental health problems it was clear that autism was the only 'problem' and one which of course the mental health team couldn't help with, so they referred me to the autism team again. This took maybe 1 1/2 - 2 years. The autism assessment took maybe 4 hours, and I got the results via mail within three weeks.

Edit:
I posted this before seeing your reply that you're US based, I thus know nothing about their procedure...but I'll leave my answer.

Lol, sounds like the NHS is much worse than anything I've heard of American healthcare.

Anyway, reasons to worry: certain compulsive behavior, difficulty making friends, having never had a girlfriend, a couple of times with "incidents" where I've ceased having any friends when I pissed them all off, almost never making eye contact, consistently being told by all the online tests that I have Asperger's, over attachment to certain people or objects, people who have had autistic siblings or boyfriends/girlfriends telling me I act similarly (but that I'm smarter), having no concern over hygiene, never being able to sleep since I can't stop thinking, etc etc.

But, the reason why I'd think that having Asperger's, bipolar, etc might be important to know is because if I have depression, wouldn't it be important to know what else ties into that? Sorta like: If I had high blood pressure, wouldn't it be important to know if I have a stress/anxiety problem that's causing it?