My mom just hit me

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I was in the car and my mom kept talking about annoyig things. It really started to bug me. When i am In the car inenjoy silence. But she kept goInt on and on. I told her "oh my gosh just shut up" then she smacks my arm hard. I intinctivly smack her back. She knows that i cant be touched or i cant cope. She grabs my arm and pushs her finger nails in and screams you are not my equal i gave you a "love" smack you do not hit me. I bled a little but the marks are really bad. I am so anrgy at her right now. :@

Huh...What a coincidence.

love smack? lol


she's probly right though. you're not her equal so better watch out next time :/

Sorry. People should not hit one another.

It may be that she responded to the phrase "shut up." I don't mind if my kids ask me to be quiet, but I would be angry if they told me to shut up.

Kid, I'm so sorry to read that. I can relate to how you frustration could lead you to say that to her, I've been in similar situations with my own mother and other relatives before, even though I have a very close bond with my mother. I mean, I never raised my hand at her (though she has hit me as chastisement), but I've had very heated words with her in my teenage years.

Scratching you with her nails until you bleed sounds extreme, though, but then I can also sew how that would follow after you hit her back. I think your anger is justified... Just let it burn for a little while until you simmer down eventually. I think, if I were in your place, I would actually wait for your mother to come to you for a reconciliation if she feels the tiem is right for it. I know that, when my mother and I had had an argument, she would usually be the one to make the first move toward making things better between us.

Even though you're very angry with her now... it could also be helpful if eventually you apologize to her for smacking her, even if you feel in your heart of hearts that you were justified. Not only from a diplomatic point of view, but also for the sake of mending the now damaged rapport with your mother.

Hang in there, it gets better.

This seems to be a case of "things escalating too fast"... If my 15 years old son told me to shut up the way you did, I'd probably react badly too, without thinking. Smacking you wasn't the right reaction, but smacking her back while she's driving, well, it's dangerous.

If something like that happened with my son, I'd probably wait until every one had enough time to calm down, and then review what happened in that way : "I shouldn't have reacted the way I did. But then, you should have told me you needed silence in a respectful way, it would have worked so much better."

When you feel better, why not try to have a calm conversation with her about what happened?

It's not nice of her, but on the other hand don't talk to her like that.

If you continue having trouble like this, I would jugest going to therapy together.

Wow. I would have reacted the exact same way. It isn't okay to hit anyone. Honestly, I probably would have reacted worse, because I don't think there is anything more degrading you can say to someone than "you are not my equal", even if it is to your child.

Anyhow, it sounds like you both overreacted. My recommendation would be to apologize for both smacking her, and telling her to shut up, but also to tell her that you felt that she reacted in a hurtful way. Moms usually don't actually want to hurt their kids.

Mom can discipline kid. Kid cannot discipline mom. My mom would have beat me hard if I told her to shut up. It would have made me learn respect right off the bat!

It sound like you've both gone too far. Maybe you can use this as a learning experience not to tell people to shut up. I'm sorry that had to happen to you. Maybe after you have both calmed down, you can hug and make up.

Especially to your child. Hitting you in that way (i.e., not causing fear, injury, or pain) may have been the act of a frustrated parent, but that comment was emotionally abusive and absolutely wrong. You ARE her equal. You're younger and you have lower social status, but you are worth just as much as she is. Parents who have to put down their children like that are not acting with very much wisdom.

Btw, I think his mom said that he isn't her "equal" to mean 'I am not one of your peers that you can easily say shut up to". She meant that she has authority over him and thus, not equal.

She may have meant it that way, but the emotion in it and the impact of the words is still the same. It's not something you say if you're not meaning to cause at least some emotional hurt, to push someone back into "their place". It's a declaration of superiority.

I agree with this interpretation. Both of my kids have a hard time remembering that they are not my equal. I am their mom, and I do have authority over them.

I remind my kids of this probably close to daily. It is not to hurt them and it is not a declaration of my superiority. It is because they both have a really hard time understanding the concept of authority and my son, in particular, speaks to adults the exact same way he does his peers. This has the potential to have negative consequences.

But the fact of the matter is...the parents are superior and do have authority. I see nothing wrong in telling him that if he forgets that he isn't in a position to talk like that to his mom. If he forgot that he can't talk that way to his mother, then he must be reminded. Of course the hitting part sucks, she told him the reason why she reacted which was because he acted as if he was an equal to his parent when in reality that is not true.