how love can make you so depressed

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Hi guys and girls

Ik you guy are probs annoy with me going on with my self just im stuck stuck in this depressed state because of love i love somebody who doesn't love me, you see im Bi haha yes i said it ive not fully come to terms with myself yet im still learning to i love this str8 lad call billy ive seen everything about him i mean everything.

ik kinda about his life i don't wanna be noise you know but i have developed that much of a strong feeling for him i developed this depressed state I LOVE HIM but can not have him he knows i like him in such way he has a girlfriend, ive seen them have sex ik i probs shouldn't because i think its made me worse.

I need somebody to love somebody that i can like that will remove my feelings for him but nobody likes me i do my best but nobody sees me i feel invisible most of my time is spend locked away in my room away from the world on my xbox so that i am safe but sometimes i feel that i need help to get out of this nightmare help to gain a love one but im too scared to scared that if i go out that ill be attacked and that everyone will see who i really and what i really am.

i dont know how long i can live like this yet i wanna be normal be able to go out with friends nothing else