Do I have aspergers
19 Feb 2016, 3:24 pm
So here's the thing. I either have aspergers with social anxiety or just social anxiety. I know if I want a definite answer I need to go get tested, which is what I am planning to do but I want other people's opinion as well. So let me tell you about myself. I am 16 and a junior in high school. I have been pretty socially awkward my whole life. When I was little I was always afraid of other kids. Either cause of aspergers or social anxiety. I think it was aspergers but the thing is when I did have friends I always talked to them and I loved having friends. And I don't know if aspergers awkwardness also applies to family but right after my sister was born I was ALWAYS talking to her. She had no idea what I was saying but I loved talking to her. So if I don't have aspergers something happened when I was really young that gave me social anxiety but I'm pretty sure my being afraid of other kids was aspergers. Actually now that I think about it I was bullied in pre school. I would be afraid to pre school everyday but after my parents left and I was done crying for like 5 minutes I had so much fun playing with the other kids. Now for a while I was obsessed with Thomas the tank engine. Yup I know a kid being obsessed with something ESPECIALLY trains says yup definite aspergers but we'll talk more about that later. Now elementary. I had friends. There was this girl Isabel in my kindergarten class I always tried to talk to cause I had the biggest crush. Side note. Everyday I walked into class she was in the same area and in that area the sun shined down into the window onto her and so when I walked over to her she looked like an angel from heaven. I just thought I'd mention that cause I found that f*****g hilarious. Anyways I'd always invite her to my house but she couldn't come over cause her parents didn't like mine lol. Also in kindergarten i was a p****. If anyone bullied me I would just cry. Eventually I lost my two friends I had in kindergarten. Both names cj. Cj h moved to Connecticut and cj b stopped liking me cause I was always crying. The rest of elementary I spent loving Nintendo games and playing them with a couple of friends I made.(probably an obsession). Middle school came and I was the most nervous Motherf***er alive. I really wanted to make friends but I was just so scared of other people. Wasn't bullied in elementary but was still scared for some reason. I will never forget the time my friend Miranda tried introducing me to her new friend Nicole. Instead of saying what's up I said hi in the most nervous voice ever and made absolutely no eye contact. This lowered my self confidence a lot. I also got bullied and had few friends. Then I started to think I was lesser than everyone. Inferiority complex. I did make one friend in 6th grade leading to more. I talked to him about dragon ball and we became friends. Just last year in 10th grade he told me he was hesitant to be my friend in 6th and no one talked to me in elementary cause I was like a nerdy kid who liked Pokemon. Glad I got that figured out lol. But anyways I still was kinda afraid of people starting high school. Wasn't bullied as much anymore but still socially awkward. Just last year when I started 11th grade my social anxiety started to diminish. I stopped being so nervous. I am able to hold conversations somewhat well and can make friends. So now that I have told u my background let me get into whether I have aspergers or not. I have always been able to read social cues and read people's faces. I could always tell if someone was being sarcastic. Like in middle school sometimes someone would do that pretend to be nice thing when they're actually being an as*hole. I could tell if someone was doing that easily. But then I was pretty socially awkward. In the summer I was going into 7th grade I went to a tennis camp. I went with a girl named Victoria. She was ALWAYS talking to me. I could very easily tell she was trying to become friends and eventually had a crush on me but when trying to conversations with me I made very small and weak comments and questions. And while I did want friends I just felt uncomfortable around her. It was weird because I was scared of not everyone but a lot of people around me for no reason. Even when they were friendly. Oh about the obsession thing. I had many different obsessions until like 10th grade. I now am looking for new interests but am not fixated on just one thing. I have this little thing where I rock back and forth a bit when I'm standing which my dad had but we only do it a little. Now onto my family. So they show sings but at the same time don't. If I do have it I got it from my dad. He was always quiet and uninterested in taking to people. When he was he had 0 problems making friends and having conversation. He eventually realized him being quiet all the time made him seem rude so he started to socialize more. when introduced to friends of my mom he wasn't interested so he never made eye contact or bothered to start conversation. Oh I forgot to mention ever since my social anxiety has lessened I have no problem making eye contact, unless there is an awkward silence. Now my sister she grew up a very quiet and reserved girl. In kindergarten girls would walk up to her and try talking to her. She had no idea about the idea of social so while the other girl was talking to her she would just walk away. But after elementary she was the most social girl ever. She can have conversations that last for hours. She is the last person you would expect to have aspergers. So what do u guys think
