Impossible expectations...Do you ever get tired of them?

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Do you ever get tired of people trying to change you into what they think you should be?

Ie I have been telling therapists since I was thirteen that I cannot mix with people and they still insist that if I relax it will come to me naturally (my diagnosis is social anxiety). Err it was never there in the first place so how can I relax and find something I never had to begin with (an ability to socialise). My niche was academics, not being a social butterfly. I fail abysmally at the latter but excel at the former.

Also many of my oddities have been with me since a very young age...they did not just appear one day when I developed an anxiety disorder (another thing I am diagnosed as having but don't agree with the diagnosis...my interest in my hobbies is not bloomin OCD...bog off...do people out there not understand passion these days?)

I feel like people/therapists are trying to change my hardwiring and are setting me up for failure by doing so. This is the main source of stress in my life and one of the only things I actually get stressed out about (other than my sleep problems and chronic migraines as they stop me from functioning most days).

And that is another thing...my circadian rhythm and sleep have always been a bit funny. I am a night owl and prone to various nocturnal disturbances and yet they insist that I can have a normal circadian rhythm and that changing some imaginary mood issue I am not always feeling will magically make my sleep just like everyone elses. Errr no, again manipulating my mood does not really improve my sleep issues, nor does it stop my migraines. They are trying to make my body do something it has never done well with antidepressants, messing my moods up, giving me side effects I don't need and stressing my body the hell out with their unrealistic expectations.

Anyway, sorry for the vent there, but does anyone else find peoples expectations are unrealistic in terms of expecting you to be what you are not just so you fit into some narrowly defined box of what they think a human being should be?

Why can they not let people be individuals? What makes them believe that their way of being is the only right way for a human being to be? How egocentric and arrogant of them!! !! !

I hate what's expected from me. Like people seem to think that just because I'm young I should be out partying, just because they might have done it when they were young. Some people don't seem to realise that going out partying is not for everyone, even some NTs don't always gain joy out of it and would rather spend their time and money on doing better things. But just because it's a stereotype for a 22-year-old to go out partying at week-ends, it turns into an expectation.

A bit like if I tell people I have AS, they'll then look at the stereotypes that they have heard about, and will expect me to have those stereotypes otherwise I haven't got it.
Like ''oh she's got an ASD ---> I heard about ASD people being clever at maths and science ---> well you're not good with maths and science, you've been misdiagnosed''.
Maybe I'm not good with maths and science but that still doesn't mean I'm lying about having AS.

I think sometimes a lot of people can be black and white thinkers with this sort of thing.

Also, like you, I've been told things like ''be yourself'', ''stop worrying about what others think of you'', ''if you relax at social situations you will be fine'', et cetera. Yeah, like that's possible! It's like people think you're choosing to be shy or socially awkward and are too lazy to change yourself. Ohh, why can't people just understand how I'm feeling, just like I'm expected to understand how THEY'RE feeling!! !! !!

I don't blame you for being frustrated. Who wouldn't?

Bumble, sounds like you're seeing a therapist who doesn't have the expertise you require. I think it's YOU who have the impossible expectations. From her. We're taught to think that therapists know better, but in most cases we, aspies, have to know when to fire one.

Yes, I get tired of impossible expectations.

I especially get tired of the impossible expectations I set for myself.
I need to learn to stop doing that.
Problem is that I don't realise I've done it until I get in a mess and someone points out that my expectation was unrealistic.
And then I get mad at them because I think they're setting their expectations of me too low.

I don't know who is right. But it's so f*cking frustrating.

I see a counsellor who actually used to suffer from anxiety herself, and I find she's a lot more helpful than the ones I have seen in the past. She can relate to me, gives me practical advice, and gives ideas and suggestions that are useful.

Many elementary, junior high, and high school teachers thought that they could help me to change "for the better" (AKA: try to make me more NT). They all failed. This kinda makes me feel a little satisfied.