Is X, Y, and Z because of Aspergers?

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I was just diagnosed with Aspergers at 27 and I all I can think is "Is /this/ because of Aspergers, or is that unrelated?" for a number of different traits about myself, my thoughts, and behaviours. I guess I want to figure out what affect having AS has had on me my whole life that I always just assumed was me being weird in my own unique way.

Is this a common response to being diagnosed as an adult?

Yes indeed it is.......that is a lot of what happens on this forum. People examine their own characteristics and see which ones are related to AS and in what way and which ones aren't and how they are the same and how they differ from others with AS.

I do this and I was diagnosed as a child.......I only became interested in doing this recently......I'm a little slow.......

It can be a relief and a frustration at the same time. It can be quite a shock to realize a lot of what other people did to you or said to you was because you were autistic. I had a period of self-awareness proceeding my diagnosis that caused me to see my behavior for the first time in my life; this phase was very shocking and got me to the point that I was ready to really look to myself as the source of my problems. That led to diagnosis then led to chain realizations... aha! moments that were not particularly pleasant in my case. (I was quite a 'tough' girl, a b***h I suppose, selfish, etc.)

I know that my issues were the result of decades of bad coping and psychological damage from my past; so I'm sure if those factors aren't present for you this will be a time of self-discovery leading to acceptance.

A very common response.

I've suspected I was on the spectrum since sometime in my mid-20s. I was due to be assessed at 26, but the pre-screening board, for whatever reason, didn't think there were grounds to proceed.

It was only a few years later, when I sought psychiatric help at a different clinic (having moved in between) for anxiety problems. They read my journals and vehemently disagreed with the first clinic's pre-screening board, even going so far as to fast-track me (there generally being a long wait for such things). I received my dx at age 30.

Of course, before I received the dx, it was more like "is X, Y, Z because of Asperger's, if I even have it?" Besides vindication, the dx has come with some fringe benefits including being taken more seriously by psychiatry when I bring my problems to them.

I guess the main thing on my mind right now is my romantic obsession with a former friend (I made a thread just for that in the "Love and Dating" section, which I can't link to) but also I wonder about a whole lot of other things: my perfectionism at work; my interest in maths, computing and science; my introversion and tenancy to avoid large groups/parties etc.; hatred of travelling; disinterest in reading fiction; ... I could go on and on about the things I wonder whether they're AS or not.

All of these seem to be relatively common traits in AS, but none of them are generally used as diagnostic criteria. (Obsessive behaviour might qualify. I obsess over things, but usually not over people; there have been exceptions)

I seem to be either overly perfectionist or way too sloppy (about different things at different times), with a very hard time finding a balance. I am interested in computing. Science can be interesting but it's really technology that fascinates me more. I seem to be all about practical applications. I do okay with math when I have a direct practical application for it, but can't seem to immerse myself in it, or science, otherwise. I occasionally perseverate on some particular bit of science, though; most recently, linguistic relativism, but that was a pretty mild perseveration.

I'm certainly fairly introverted and have trouble with large groups or parties. I like travelling, if it's done under reasonable circumstances, though I seem to be less prone to it lately.

When it comes to fiction we definitely differ, but being uninterested in it seems to be a common aspie trait indeed. I like science fiction, preferrably moderately hard (Iain M. Banks, Alastair Reynolds are recent examples), and I don't mind reading the occasional bit of crime fiction or a thriller.

I still think this even though I was diagnosed at least half a decade ago. Whenever I make a mistake, I always wonder if it is related to Aspergers, or if I would have done it even if I didn't have Aspergers. Of course you can't blame everything on Aspergers; for instance everyone makes mistakes, even NTs. But you only have one life, and in this life you happen to have Aspergers. Those constraints make it difficult to imagine what you would act like without AS. At least that is from my experience.

I don't really wonder because it doesn't matter to me if something in me is an AS trait by the book or the product of a personality formed by a history based on a different neurology, that took me down different roads.

Eg. some things in my personality could be the product of belonging to a minority, or of having always been massively rejected, or of being highly confident in my language abilities due to NLD, etc.

I'm different from the majority in many ways, that's all that counts for me.

I guess that's a valid way to see it too, but I can't help wondering.

When my cousin was diagnosed with cancer, she went through about two years when she connected just about everything with cancer, either as a cause or an effect. She blamed everything she ate or drank, the air she breathed, the perfume she wore, and even the music she listened to. None of her claims were valid.

My neighbor blamed everything from homogenized milk to Broadway Musicals for her son being gay.

And of course, conspiricists are classic cases of people who make tenuous claims based on the flimsiest of evidence to fight their fears.

I think that it's normal for people to look for associative factors whenever they are confronted with something they fear or hate.

What's been very hard for me ever since I got diagnosed is to remember not to blame myself and instead remind myself that I'm different, that I can't expect the same from myself as others expect from NTs.

This could be a variation of what's happening to you. You could be actually trying to decipher what you're to blame for and what you're not to blame for.

Only now, 3 years after formal dx, am I remembering in real time to tell myself "well, this is who I am, and if it turns out that comment just cost me my job and I never find another and die of destitution in the street, I tried my best to avoid it." At the beginning it'd take me days or weeks to remember. I'd react the same way as before, blaming myself. Nowadays instead of shame and guilt when I do the wrong thing, I feel a profound sadness - it's much healthier than before.

It's not really the same, in fact that's the oposite. Those are examples of when someone finds out about something and then looks for various things that may have caused it whereas in my case, I've found out about something and I'm looking at various things which could have been caused by it.

That was/is exactly my reaction! I don't live in a great area to be an autistic adult, so I'm still working through it all 1.5 years later.