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billiscool
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22 Sep 2012, 10:58 pm

I admit Im not an expert on autism disorder but I really want to know what are asperger women like in general for what I get is

* they can hid their disorder and fit in society
* they don't have alot of female friends
* they can make male friend and get relationship easier than men with autism disorder
*they get mistaking for bipolar often

To me asperger women are like ''lesbians'' who like men and don't get along with other women very well.
I might be wrong about this but this what I kinda of get by reading wrong planet for over 6 years.
I've always been interested in women with aspie, why. Main reason is that seem to be succesful disable people out there.
they can fit into society, They get married. They can go whole life without people even thinking anything wrong with them.
Where women with mental illness, serve autism, serve ocd, hoarding problem, Tend to struggle in all area of life.



CrystalStars
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22 Sep 2012, 11:11 pm

Why are there so many darn generalizations coming up everywhere?


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lostgirl1986
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22 Sep 2012, 11:14 pm

Every woman with Asperger's Syndrome is different. Remember it's a broad spectrum of high functioning and low functioning with different traits and quirks.



eric76
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22 Sep 2012, 11:23 pm

billiscool wrote:
To me asperger women are like ''lesbians'' who like men and don't get along with other women very well.


I can't figure out what that means.



Fnord
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22 Sep 2012, 11:23 pm

Once you've met one Aspie, you've met one Aspie. Same for women.

There are generalities that can be made -- women generally express emotions more often than men and with greater intensity ... Aspies tend to express emotions with disproportionately greater or lesser frequency or intensity than Enties -- but even these generalities do not apply to every person, male or female, Aspie or Entie.

It takes a lifetime to even begin to understand someone as an individual, so it is unlikely to make any definitive conclusion about what a "typical Aspie woman" is all about.



Buttoneater
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22 Sep 2012, 11:23 pm

When I was 15 my mom set me up on a date with another 15 year old who was a girl with asperger's. Thanks a lot for setting me up with a damn asexual, mom! Doesn't that make sense, set up your clearly hypersexual son who has had more body hair than you and your husband combined since he was 8, with a girl who wants to have an intact hymen at age 90. Sure made me feel like a smooth operator when she started crying just from me asking her "So, have you ever kissed anyone?"

At least she wore those low-cut shirts so I could see her boob freckles. Mmm, half-Asian boob freckles.



Callista
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22 Sep 2012, 11:42 pm

I'm an AS woman who's 29 years old and barely living on my own. I don't drive. I can barely use the bus system. I receive support from an aide several times a week (a recent development, aimed at hopefully making it possible for me to work some day).

This idea that we're all blending into society without problems... where'd you get that? I don't see much of a difference between AS women and men, really, except in how the world in general sees us. There's not enough difference between the genders to really make any kind of generalization.

And who says Aspie women have to like men? Why can't we like women, or both, or neither, or everybody in general?

You've got some serious stereotypes going there, OP. Aspie women are individuals. Simple as that.


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Buttoneater
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22 Sep 2012, 11:47 pm

Buttoneater wrote:
When I was 15 my mom set me up on a date with another 15 year old who was a girl with asperger's. Thanks a lot for setting me up with a damn asexual, mom! Doesn't that make sense, set up your clearly hypersexual son who has had more body hair than you and your husband combined since he was 8, with a girl who wants to have an intact hymen at age 90. Sure made me feel like a smooth operator when she started crying just from me asking her "So, have you ever kissed anyone?"

At least she wore those low-cut shirts so I could see her boob freckles. Mmm, half-Asian boob freckles.


I want to emphasize that they're not all asexuals. Just the ones my mom thought were my type whose parents she knew. Wait I was wrong, the next one was a lesbian, not asexual. A rough, rough, rugby lesbian. Enjoyed the time I spent with her clearly manic mother (who claimed to have never slept even once) way, way more than her. In fact, we avoided being alone together. I was 6'2" tall and she was bigger than me. Mom, you are a terrible matchmaker.



Tuttle
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22 Sep 2012, 11:49 pm

Fnord wrote:
Once you've met one Aspie, you've met one Aspie. Same for women.


This.

The fact that I have breasts, and my body makes more estrogen than yours doesn't make me suddenly match different stereotypes.

So you know.

I cannot hide my disorder.
I cannot fit in with society.
I don't have a lot of female friends and can't make female friends easily.
I don't have a lot of male friends and can't make male friends easily.
I do have a relationship. My boyfriend is my romantic relationship, my social life, my friendship, my carer.
I have never been mistaken for having bipolar.

There is no way that your description of "women with Asperger's" describes me, despite me having a female body, and an Asperger's diagnosis.

My case is not more mild because I am female. I do not blend in more because I am female. I do not have fewer social problems because I am female. I do not have fewer non-social problems because I am female. I do not struggle less because I am female.

You are just stereotyping.



yellowtamarin
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22 Sep 2012, 11:49 pm

billiscool wrote:
To me asperger women are like ''lesbians'' who like men and don't get along with other women very well.

Hahaha, actually I find that quite insightful. Only the way I see it is just that we tend to have a more "masculine" way of thinking. That can make it more difficult to bond with "feminine-minded" women because our interests, choice of conversation, and style of interaction are quite different. And when it comes to interacting with males, well, they can tend to find our "masculine mind" refreshing. We have the physique they are attracted to, and don't have all those girly traits they might find annoying. :D

Yes, huge generalisations, I know. I guess I'll say that I'm really just talking about myself, and no two aspies are the same, blah blah blah.



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23 Sep 2012, 12:36 am

We all weigh about 220-230 lbs and we all look like Mick Avory. :wink: LOL


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billiscool
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23 Sep 2012, 1:37 am

Callista wrote:
I'm an AS woman who's 29 years old and barely living on my own. I don't drive. I can barely use the bus system. I receive support from an aide several times a week (a recent development, aimed at hopefully making it possible for me to work some day).

This idea that we're all blending into society without problems... where'd you get that? I don't see much of a difference between AS women and men, really, except in how the world in general sees us. There's not enough difference between the genders to really make any kind of generalization.

And who says Aspie women have to like men? Why can't we like women, or both, or neither, or everybody in general?

You've got some serious stereotypes going there, OP. Aspie women are individuals. Simple as that.


where I get that idea that women can blend into society. The news I guess. I always read how aspie women can ''mask'' their disabilty and fit in.

who says aspie has to like men. No one did. You can like whoever you want. But the truth is most people are straight.
Im just basing my stereotypes on everything I read here and else where



y-pod
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23 Sep 2012, 2:33 am

CockneyRebel wrote:
We all weigh about 220-230 lbs and we all look like Mick Avory. :wink: LOL


No way! Aspie girls are famous for being slim and attractive, and being low maintenance and not play games. :D Expect your house to be a mess if you marry one, though, and the kids dirty and bills not paid. Because she'd spend all the time doing her hobbies or reading books. And she'd send YOU to do weekly grocery shopping, take care of the children, talk to teachers and deal with her relatives.

Ok that's just me, but I'm taken. :) For generalization, I remember seeing this list somewhere about aspie women, let me find it for you.

Here: http://www.help4aspergers.com/pb/wp_a58 ... d4f6a.html I haven't read her book, but that list was pretty good.


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one-A-N
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23 Sep 2012, 3:06 am

yellowtamarin wrote:
Only the way I see it is just that we tend to have a more "masculine" way of thinking. That can make it more difficult to bond with "feminine-minded" women because our interests, choice of conversation, and style of interaction are quite different. And when it comes to interacting with males, well, they can tend to find our "masculine mind" refreshing. We have the physique they are attracted to, and don't have all those girly traits they might find annoying. :D


I wonder if this - to whatever extent that it happens to be true - is because Aspies are a bit less likely to pick up social stereotypes than NTs(*). Maybe Aspie males are less likely to fit the NT male stereotype, and Aspie females less likely to fit the NT female stereotype, because we don't "get" the socially determined aspects of sexual roles as much as NTs do. This suggests that Aspies are a little more likely to be "androgenous" or neutral - i.e. more likely to ignore social stereotypes about gender roles and gender interests than NTs.

* this also shows up in our typical lack of interest in fashion, and also in many Aspies not fully copying the accent of their age peers (my psychologist pointed out that my accent was harder to place than my wife's - contrary to our respective backgrounds** - and mentioned that this can be an Aspie characteristic).

** my NT wife is an immigrant, but sounds exactly like a local. I am a local, but I don't sound like one - my accent is "hard to place".



yellowtamarin
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23 Sep 2012, 3:33 am

one-A-N wrote:
yellowtamarin wrote:
Only the way I see it is just that we tend to have a more "masculine" way of thinking. That can make it more difficult to bond with "feminine-minded" women because our interests, choice of conversation, and style of interaction are quite different. And when it comes to interacting with males, well, they can tend to find our "masculine mind" refreshing. We have the physique they are attracted to, and don't have all those girly traits they might find annoying. :D


I wonder if this - to whatever extent that it happens to be true - is because Aspies are a bit less likely to pick up social stereotypes than NTs(*). Maybe Aspie males are less likely to fit the NT male stereotype, and Aspie females less likely to fit the NT female stereotype, because we don't "get" the socially determined aspects of sexual roles as much as NTs do. This suggests that Aspies are a little more likely to be "androgenous" or neutral - i.e. more likely to ignore social stereotypes about gender roles and gender interests than NTs.

* this also shows up in our typical lack of interest in fashion, and also in many Aspies not fully copying the accent of their age peers (my psychologist pointed out that my accent was harder to place than my wife's - contrary to our respective backgrounds** - and mentioned that this can be an Aspie characteristic).

** my NT wife is an immigrant, but sounds exactly like a local. I am a local, but I don't sound like one - my accent is "hard to place".

Yeah, I was actually going to suggest something to that effect, but more bluntly (because I couldn't think of a subtle way), so I left it out.

Below I've decided to go generalisation-crazy, just for fun. Say masculinity/femininity and being low-maintenance are the two main things people look for in an opposite sex partner. Here's how everyone rates, if we go with the androgyny theory:

NT Male = +Masculine +Low-maintenance
AS Male = -Masculine +Low-maintenance
NT Female = +Feminine -Low-maintenance
AS Female = -Feminine +Low-maintenance

It's all an even playing field except for the NT males who are at an advantage. So a male might be equally attracted to an NT or AS female, while a female might more often prefer the NT male.

Disclaimer: I'm not saying I buy any of that, I'm just playing around with the idea!! !



Surfman
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23 Sep 2012, 3:52 am

yellowtamarin wrote:
And when it comes to interacting with males, well, they can tend to find our "masculine mind" refreshing. We have the physique they are attracted to, and don't have all those girly traits they might find annoying. :D



some guys used to like those girly traits
Most of my ex's were on the spectrum somewhere

Aspie women are also hot babes, I swear.
Imagine 70's San Francisco alternative, peaceloving

I walk a freak street in Auckland, all the paisley generation.... very beautiful