Redirecting obsessions to something useful NOW

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Sometimes I have no energy for anything but at the moment I seem to have loads. The problem is that I have 5 pieces of "homework" plus normal work, plus a child to take care of and a house to run. And instead of dealing with any of those things I find myself compulsively trawling furniture websites and planning redecorating my house. Not just planning though, I am buying so many things online with little thought to the consequences (ie I had to shuffle money around so I can afford my rent this month and that NEVER happens).

So usually I am fiscally responsible and I am scaring myself with the power of my need to buy these things.

Also, I really have a lot to get on with, and realise I am anxious about it and am probably using the home improvement stuff as an escape.

How do you break the cycle if you get into this?

Does anyone have any tips on how to get obsessed with boring acedemic work? I don't even think I find it boring, I just have so much to do that all decisions seem to be the wrong one.

Thank you.

I wish I could help. I was in school a few years ago and had to quit because the chaos in my life was draining all of my ability to concentrate. I am almost back to a point where there is enough order that I could concentrate on school again and am planning to do so soon.

I also get the whole distraction thing. My current situation is that my obsession (lifetime) is playing with cars. I have a game plan of what car needs what done in what order so that I can maximize my time and money in the most efficient manner possible. However, it hasn't worked out quite like I planned it. I put my old truck back on the road because the transmission in my 3 cylinder Geo Metro was failing. This was part of the plan anyhow as I keep the truck around for just such events. I had planned to use it during the September slow time at the pizza place I work at since the fuel economy difference would effect me the least at this point in the year. The problem is that I wound up obsessing over the truck's faults and spending my time and money fixing them instead of the Metro which is the better delivery car! So, I have now spent around $200 more into the truck than I should have and have wasted a week (or two) sorting it that would have better gone to my Metro. In the end, the truck needed most of the work I did, but the week or two that went into it rather than the Metro probably cost me $50-100 in additional fuel costs. I now have to try and stop myself from fixing it further as I could easily see $1,000 going into it to perfect it when it's, at best, an occasional use vehicle once the Metro gets going again.

How will I redirect my energy then? Well, this is something I can just do more or less by force of will. It doesn't require any concentration since what needs to be done is "mechanical" in nature. I don't have to concentrate, I just have to see it in the same light as I do my job. I hate my job but I also know that failing to do what is required of me there will cause me to lose my income. Thus, I do what I am told and let my mind be elsewhere while I am there. I will do much the same in the next few days when it comes time to install my new transmission and once again sort my Metro. I only wish it was that easy with regards to school work! For school, I will need to cut down on my possible obligations. This means I will be selling off half of my fleet of complete cars and cutting to just the truck, Metro and the parts Metro I keep in my back yard. It will also mean refinancing my house to a lower rate to cut my minimum monthly bills so that I can work less hours. I'll also fix my minor roof issue in my house in that time as well. Likewise, I will cut my car insurance to just one vehicle and try to be certain that I have at least 6 months worth of bills covered in my savings. I'll also have extra food stored in case of hard times so that I need not worry about being able to afford to eat. The Metro gets 40-55mpg, so that will minimize the effects of fuel prices on my budget and keep transportation as cheap as possible. This way, there are only a minimum number of distractions vying for my attention when I go to school.

I've had the exact same problem for a while now (except with a different online obsession!). I think I may be coming out of it a little at the moment. The odd thing is that what's helping is a book I'm reading to get me off chocolate (I'm in danger of diabetes). It's called 'Eating Less', by Gillian Riley, and it's written by an addiction specialist. It works on your self esteem and choice making, and because I'm focusing on why I'm doing certain things and making certain choices, the effects seem to be spreading beyond what I eat.

So I'm eyeing up my study books and I think it might just be a turning point. I hope. I know nothing else I've tried had worked so well yet! I envy those Aspies who are obsessed by something that is academically of financially useful!

Thank you outofplace - it's nice to know someone understands. I always thought I just had zero self-discipline but I am starting to think there must be something else going on. I will endeavour to unplug the internet *gasp* and force myself to face the dread I feel every time I think of the whole essay writing process.

Nascaireacht - you have hit the nail on the head with "why" we make certain decisions. They happen so quickly I don't even notice and before I know it I've spent the whole evening on the Ikea website instead of reading my textbook. I think it must be the not-knowing of the whole essay procedure vs the comfort of the familiar and doing socially acceptable "woman things" (like making the house pretty). At the end of it I very often don't even like what I've bought which is the mad thing. I just get on some sort of planning and designing high then I want to start all over again. Alas, I do not have an endless income.

I'm still not sure if the study thing will really stick this time. I hope it will, but it has only been a few days now. I want to do more study and progress further with my career. There are a few courses I've been considering for next September. One in particular really interests me, but I'd need to really work on my subject before I'd do this course, as I wouldn't yet be up to the standard required. If I don't do this work, I can't go much further than I am at the moment, and I really have to start now in order to be ready for next September. I also have small kids to look after (2 boys, 3.5 and 10 yrs, both on the spectrum). My Dad is elderly and I take care of him, and my husband is not always able to work, due to depression. So I HAVE to be ready for this course - there's no way I could catch up on anything I was missing during it; I'd have to be super-prepared for it, as I've very little free time.

I need to ignore the internet (except for my study subject!), and focus in on what's important. If I do that, then I'm choosing to get on with life, and do something that really interests me. If I choose to surf stupid stuff on the net, and then daydream about it all day, then I choose to remain as I am at the moment, which I feel is kind of mediocre. I've always felt I could do something worthwhile some day, and I feel I haven't done that yet, and I'm in my forties.

I remember reading once about a famous scholar who got all her work done in ten minute slots between interruptions! In my household, I'll have to cope with that kind of scenario, I suspect! However, if I wasn't daydreaming so much, I'd use all those moments for more useful things and thoughts, so it has to stop, right now. I daresay I'll choose to waste time sometimes, but if I keep in mind all the time that I'm wasting time when I could be following my dream, maybe I'll make it work. I've tried so hard for so long to change obsessions to something useful, and this has the feeling of something that'll work, because I'm not trying to make promises that I'll stop doing stupid stuff. As if one ever really stops doing stupid stuff! But I'll be thinking better about my choices, and choosing other things instead. And when I DO choose stupid stuff, I'll temporarily choose the consequences, and then not feel I'm a complete failure, it's just a temporary side step.

I hope you work things out for yourself too. Your situation sounds so similar to mine, and I wish you well!

Partaking in a "special interest" to the exclusion of all else ("all else" being things you "should" be doing) is one of the main symptoms of AS.

Nothing can really be done about it, other than not acquiring things that need your attention that aren't your interest.

I accept what you say is very true, but for some people that subject of interest is also their job or college subject. I can't believe it's only people who work on computers that can work for. My most intense interest is useless from a work point of view, and really annoys me when I'm not actually doing it. It's not even as potentially useful as Purplefeet's subject - at least her house might look good! Mine is entertainment only. It can definitely be influenced by my state of mind, since I do it more if I'm stressed. So I don't see why it can't be positively influenced by me being in a calm determined mood.

You see the thing is, the subject I want to focus on is also a special interest, so I'm not trying to go against my nature as an aspie. And people do speak of their special interests changing, or altering in relative intensity, or even dying off to make space for another. I really love the subject I want to change to - it moves me on an intellectual, aesthetic, patriotic, and personal way that the other one doesn't. It goes back further than the other, in that I started being interested at 4, whereas the other came up in my teens. So I don't see why it mightn't be possible to change - it's not like I'm trying to focus on something that isn't also a special interest.