Do you sometimes not know who you are?

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Okay, so sometimes I feel like I have multiple personalities. Sometimes I feel like a really bitter, hateful outsider, but a few hours later something good happens and I turn into an optimistic person dancing through the room. Sometimes I'm a social trainwreck, barely speaking and staring at the floor; at other times I can be outright charming and funny. Sometimes I'm really arrogant and egoistic, thinking bad about others, even wishing people harm, and sometimes I crave harmony and friendship.

I find it hard to combine all this in one personality. Sometimes I'm not sure of who I am or if I even have a personality.

I was just talking to my therapist today about how I don't know who I am...I can't really see an overall identity for myself.

I've never had that problem.

My moods change so quickly and forcefully that sometimes it feels like I'm a different person. I tend to get consumed by whatever frame of mind I'm in at that moment. So sometimes I wonder if my reaction to things will be different depending on my mood; then I wonder what I actually think about things if it is dependent on my mood. I do have a central core of beliefs though, that remains constant.

Sanctus, while I have experienced mood swings, those haven't made me feel as though I had multiple personalities.

However, I have at times felt as though I was two people, one superimposed over the other. The main conflict within me was between the person I 'was' and the person I 'wanted to be'. By this, I mean I felt I always had room for self-improvement, because of my self-confidence issues (negative view of myself), and I was aspiring to be someone better- and at time it was as if what I aspired to be was so far removed that it was a different person altogether, yet not an unattainable goal.
So, I felt there was a tug of war going on between who I 'was' and who I 'wanted to be'. This has sometimes been a cause of internal conflict.

Yes I strongly relate to often feeling as if I don't have a stable sense of identity. It's like I'm completely different people depending on how secure I feel in my environment. Out in public and in any environment inhabited by NTs I feel I'm hardly there and being taken over by other people and their ideas of who I am but on my own territory with people I know well and like I feel a much stronger and positive sense of self. Among NTs I get very little positive reinforcement of my identity so it feels very insubstantial and lacking and makes me feel inadequate.

All the time; the only three things I'm certain about myself are my name, my date of birth and who my parents are.

Yes, I go through mood swings too. The mean me is borderline homicidal, though. (Hope I don't get banned for that, but it is the truth.)

I tend to have two personalities - one is relaxed and cheerful when things are going OK... the other is depressed and angry, usually when others are messing with me.

I went through a period of not knowing who I was while I was coming to terms with being autistic. However, I've regained my (somewhat altered) sense of self since that time.

Happiness has the power to make you forget your faults for a while.

While I don't believe I have multiple personalities, I never say with certainty how I feel, because I truthfully don't know. Mood swings are so random it makes it hard to tell.

Well, it's certainly far more difficult dealing with Aspie traits when you are younger and the feelings of not fitting in are especially magnified. I have been there and it sucks. But as I've aged, it has become easier to accept my personality deficiencies as part of my identity. Instead of seeking social activities, I gravitate towards solo pursuits and am quite happy with where I am in life. I also found that only seeking interaction when I wanted it made it easier for me to make a few real connections and I am now married whereas I once could barely even talk to girls.

I know who I am.

I AM ALIIIIIVE!! !! ! Or maybe not.

Hmmmm. Very familar sounding. I felt like this up to my early 30's. Vulnerable, lost, and confused. I'd have periods of waking up in the morning with butterflies in my stomach, fearful of my daily encounters. I'd reassure myself that it will pass. And it would pass about mid morning.

I have these bouts of 'lostness' even now. The last few days have been triggered by theory of mind. I'll see it displayed on a typical level between people, and it highlights the fact that I'm very distant from it. But I'm about used to it now, because I've recognized there is nothing I can do about it and live with it.

There are still shadows of this.

doubled ^

Last edited by Mdyar on 30 Sep 2012, 3:38 pm, edited 1 time in total.