Do people not want to help you or get too close?

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tjr1243
Deinonychus
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07 Oct 2012, 5:39 pm

I don't understand the bulk of the human population. I get this weird feeling that when I ask for help, people don't want to help, just this feeling they are scared of me. It seems to be a boundary issue or something, something I can't quite fathom......as if whenever someone is afraid of you, they won't do certain things, even if it is no personal risk to them.

I have examples below; some I concede may be a slight personal risk but most of the time I feel like they would have helped someone else in the same situation....or not :?

1). One time I needed help with my cellphone and couldn't even get an acquaintance to look at it. I wasn't asking him to take it apart and fix it, I just needed help knowing how to input something in a text message (I'm a neanderthal when it comes to technology) and asked if he wouldn't mind looking at it for a second. He had the time and is familiar with phones (he has an IPhone), but he said, "Sorry, I don't think I can help you."

2). Another time, I called a pharmacy and asked a simple question about whether my meds would interact with a cold medication (it was too late in the evening to speak to my regular doctor), and the tech said, "Sorry, I can't give medical advice over the phone."

3). Another time I went to the library to get help looking something up (I was looking for something rather specific), and it got the point where he said, "Sorry, I can't give legal advice." (I was actually looking for a SAMPLE letter to help with the format of a letter I wanted to write, not for him to write the dang thing for me!!)

4). I get this feeling people want to deny that they know or have heard of [insert a fact that is common knowledge, like Hurricane Katrina], because they simply don't want to engage in a conversation. For example, I might say, "Remember that accident on the freeway a week ago?" -- the person was there and SAW the accident.........but the person claims not to remember. Maybe i'm being paranoid, but i feel like people distance themselves or keep weird boundaries.

I'm OK with boundaries and understand most of them. At other times, I feel like people erect an invisible wall......it is a distinct feeling like they are somehow taking a personal risk to bring that barrier down.

If anyone has insight - why do people not help or not smile (or be friendly) in situations when it is no personal risk to them? Or is there a risk I can't see?

Do you ever feel people don't want to help you or get too "close" when they would have done the same for a stranger?



emimeni
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07 Oct 2012, 7:21 pm

Not "wanting" to give legal or medical advice might be an employers' or lawyers' orders. If they end up being wrong, you can sue them.


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