Recognizing being an aspie and intensive thinking

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onks
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06 Oct 2012, 4:31 am

just searching the way out of it.

There are so many thing happening to you when you are thinking about you being aspie.

You'd typically start such an intensive thinking that you'd miss many more things than you used to.

you'd develope scary symptoms because of sensory overload
because your brain is caught up with thinking.

People around you who know you will not be able to understand why you suddenly changed.
You were normal before. Objectively nothing changed.
So they'd easily go into denial that you are actually in trouble.
And they'd propose things that you cannot do.
They don't know what happened in your past because you never told them

You'd warm up quite many things and feel really sad about it.

And now that you are vulnerable as never before you'll feel totally helpless in your "new world".
You'd realise that there is no place for you any more.
And at the same time you'd forget quite a bit how well you mastered it in the past.

You'd like to return, but you'd feel impossible to do it.

You'd freak out and would have a lot of meltdowns.

You'd do more stupid things and by that worsen your chances, spoiling your future...

Now there would be quite a difference how old you are.

if you are at school or at the beginning of your education perspectives are much better I'd say
Otherwise you are really threatened into unemployment and being completely alone at home.
(What you never have been before)

Any thoughts or additions?

Workarounds, descriptions of what you did?



outofplace
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06 Oct 2012, 4:49 am

I just started down this path 3-4 months ago and as of yet have no official Dx. However, when I first really started verifying it by talking to friends and family I was stunned by how many of them verified my suspicions. I did get upset about it for a while, and it even brought me to tears at one point. The thought that I really had no empathy for other people really hurt me as I had always seen myself as a loving and caring (but often misunderstood) person. Learning what it actually meant though calmed me down a bit as a lack of social empathy made more sense than a total lack of any empathy.

As far as adaptations go, I had already figured out that I had problems dealing with executive functioning and getting overstimulated long before discovering AS, and had been on a path to reduce stimulus to a more manageable point. It's a path I continue on today as it is all I know to do. I am still very much alone in life and have no idea how to change that. I have also slipped back into a deep depression because I now realize that it is going to be next to impossible for me to ever experience love, apart from a divine miracle.


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Uncertain of diagnosis, either ADHD or Aspergers.
Aspie quiz: 143/200 AS, 81/200 NT; AQ 43; "eyes" 17/39, EQ/SQ 21/51 BAPQ: Autistic/BAP- You scored 92 aloof, 111 rigid and 103 pragmatic


onks
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07 Oct 2012, 3:15 pm

outofplace wrote:
I just started down this path 3-4 months ago and as of yet have no official Dx. However, when I first really started verifying it by talking to friends and family I was stunned by how many of them verified my suspicions. I did get upset about it for a while, and it even brought me to tears at one point. The thought that I really had no empathy for other people really hurt me as I had always seen myself as a loving and caring (but often misunderstood) person. Learning what it actually meant though calmed me down a bit as a lack of social empathy made more sense than a total lack of any empathy.

As far as adaptations go, I had already figured out that I had problems dealing with executive functioning and getting overstimulated long before discovering AS, and had been on a path to reduce stimulus to a more manageable point. It's a path I continue on today as it is all I know to do. I am still very much alone in life and have no idea how to change that. I have also slipped back into a deep depression because I now realize that it is going to be next to impossible for me to ever experience love, apart from a divine miracle.


Hei, thx for your comments. And sorry for the late answer. I have that very problem,too, that I feel very lonely and I fear it is not going to change. No girlfriend in sight that I feel would tolerate me. And a world full of NT-NTs around me. Those that are totally fixed on doing everything as it is supposed to be done. Impossible to talk to girls/women that I might be interested in for that moment. Or more that I am missing more friends that I could go out with. I have one great friend, who is a bit similar than me.

Otherwise is my experience with that thing quite differently. I didn't gain strength, such as many here, I lost a lot. Also my job situation is really bad. I am really on the edge.

Unfortunately there are so few here our age that would like to ponder that kind of things. Aspie men, older than 30 and alone is really a bad situation.
And the younger aspies are so different and got their dx probably already as young people. I wish I would as well.

We can support them though, at least I hope so. But they'd have it difficult to support us.
Adult aspies without dx are anyway in a quite bad situation. They try to avoid diagnosing you to save money. And they'd try to make your problems smaller than what they are ...
Here in Finland I heard they are not even normally willing to pay the dx for adults. And without dx no support. I even wonder that if you'd get one would they even consider to support you by paying some therapies. I don't think so.



Sweetleaf
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07 Oct 2012, 3:22 pm

To me it sounds like a case of anxiety with AS, which I have lots of experience with, but yeah I keep caring less and less about myself and I tend to get a bit impulsive and stupid at times.


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TonyHoyle
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07 Oct 2012, 3:41 pm

Yeah round here if I went for diagnosis they'd refuse on cost grounds simply because I don't need any kind of treatment & lead a relatively normal life (although maybe not for my wife who really struggles - OTOH she'd never go to the doctor as she hates them).

Sucks, but at least I know if I did ever have children I'd know to look for the signs early... and meanwhile I get to be the subject of my own personal research project :D



onks
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07 Oct 2012, 3:56 pm

Sweetleaf wrote:
To me it sounds like a case of anxiety with AS, which I have lots of experience with, but yeah I keep caring less and less about myself and I tend to get a bit impulsive and stupid at times.


You're probably right. But there are really also the problems to always get missunderstood and wrongly judged.
I wouldnt be anxious if there wasnt a well justified reason. I don't behave normally and I don't want to either fit in perfectly.
But my job would demand that. Science is like that.
I just would like some respect and some kind of natural support plus some woman that I could more naturally share my life with.
Most probably aspie woman. Just hard to find somebody with similar attitude, not even talking about how often I just screw things...

But they don't like guys with only little self-esteem either (thats how i look like at least)
And being desperate isn't that good either,
although I find this difficult to understand, generally.
Why would women go for over-self-confident guys and not for caring guys, the ones that I would find more logically to be attracted to.
I don't understand this whole story about being always 100% sure about everything where there is so much crab everywhere.
I'd rather be a little uncertain about things than going the wrong way. Keeping yourself realistic, assuring that you won't miss it when something is wrong...(Realistic in aspie terms, not in NT terms)