People who ask you to be normal

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I encountered many folks in my life which insisted that it is time for a change and I should be like the others but I find no pleasure in being like "the others". I believe every individual is unique and can't agree with everyone on all aspects of life. It was a painfull process for me and took a long time to understand what's happening in this society and I DON'T LIKE it when people want to take that (my system of values) from me. Don't know what made me to refuse to be like "others" but I know I never liked what I saw around me and I can't take that as a model. If someone would give me a "cure" to be like other people and to live a 'normal' life, I would gladly refuse it.

I respect all the social rules, I value other's intimacy and try to be as normal as I can when it comes about the others around me. In my own world, it is me who create the rules and not they; even if most of the times, they are a mirror for me and help me to see my flaws.

So what about you? Have you encountered people that insisted to change you (like parents, work mates)? Did they understand your condition?
Sometimes I feel like the whole society is against me and sooner of later they'll try to destroy my little world.

Yup, I have had people try to change me. Unless they know how to reason with me and use logic that I can agree with, they don't get very far. I won't change myself just to fit in. There has to be a good reason that makes sense before I will try anything new.

I was just saying to someone yesterday something like this:

"All the normal people have the right to shape their little world around all their own little quips and comforts. So when do I get to do that? Why is it that I don't have the right to do what everybody else takes for granted?"

I totally agree.

I've had countless people tell me things like this over the years. You'll never be happy trying to be something that you're not..But you also have to realize how happy you'll be being yourself. It was nice to hear someone else echo my views.

If I was asked for me to be normal.

I Sign (sign language) to them this.. "OK I will be normal but you go 1st."
or
"You what me to be normal? I am normal. Your the one that is not at all normal."
or
"normal is a dryer setting and I am not a dryer."
or
"I will not be normal. I happen to like my name."


I have never been asked to be normal.

The problem is that I find my health in danger. Everytime someone asks me about my life looks stupefied why I don't have a normal life (like having a boyfriend, socializing, asking for love or having a job where to kiss my boss' ass). In the same time, my parents try to change me even if many times I have explained them that I can't change myself and they do me much harm with their rejection and pressure. If I go to a psychologist, they tell me society is the way it is and I can't change anything about it but then why it wants so badly to change me? If I go to a psychiatrist, automatically want to put me on meds because my lifestyle implies that I would have a depression (even though did had one and now I know how it feels and I don't feel it anymore). Nobody understands what i'm going through and they know only to judge, when actually nobody gives a f**k about me. I'm afraid that after a while people will say i'm crazy because I don't want to make a family, make babies or follow any rules that I find them to be absurd. If i try to make a friend, many times they don't have the same thinking as me and that annoys me and I'm losing my patience. I think many people are brainwashed and programmed to do what others do and think in the same way. I find this really disturbing.

At least, maybe people know you are different. In my case, people think I'm normal and expect me to be like them.
I don't want to be like them. Most of them are scary and nuts in the brain (sorry if I offended someone or if it sounds arrogant)
But they are just following the course of nature. I can't blame them. If they're happy with their living, be it, but I don't want their living to interfere with my living.

I am myself and people have a problem with it. Everytime i tried to understand their thinking and fit in the crowd, it turned out to be a totally disaster.

The only people who say that to me is my mom. She feels it's just all an excuse for me to not live up to her expectations. I'm an articulate person who would have a lot of smart responses but so far I've yet to use those on her. I think it's a habit I developed as a child to dodge her as much as possible instead of confronting her. Besides, I'm not sure if she's still smart enough to understand about autism. There ARE a lot of people in the world who are not bright enough to understand complicated things after all.

Never really happened to me. But my mom will rail on this at time, because of her prissiness.

@OP

I know exactly what you mean, I'm tired of people who think I have to be like them, or have to have their values/opinions/beliefs/etc. in order for them to treat me like a human being.
What really burns me though is the people who treat me differently because I have my own beliefs, and they don't agree with them.
For whatever reason, people seem to go out of their way to make our lives a total wreck, while they laugh and joke about the whole thing and say we're the ones that are f'd up. They're never content in just leaving us alone and minding their own d*** business.

People are just... immature, childish, idiotic, and overall annoying, especially when they think they're right about everything when in reality they're wrong 99% of the time.

Yeah, many years ago, I make it pretty clear to everyone "that's not going to happen." When you just "own" "being weird", people do eventually get that concept (even though I don't think I'm weird, I think neurotypical people can't get me) and leave you alone.

But, if you don't make a stand and own it, they're going to keep on bothering you. You've got to explain that's just "who you are," that "there's no changing it" and they've got to deal with it. To them it's got to be clear that, "you're weird", that's that, so let's move on...

My aunt expects me to be normal. So do my parents. My Ohio friend/cousin-in-law would scratch her head and ask "What's normal? Whatever it is, I'm not normal!" in response to this thread, which is why she's my friend.

Find your own values and goals. Connect with like minded people for which internet is a good resource. And keep normalizing trash and professionals out of your life, with force if needed.

We'r not normal, but neither is being normal a god thing either

maybe im not really sure as I have never experienced being an nt

My mum was on my very case about this just almost a month ago. She was expecting me to be normal by living in the present, instead of living in "some decade". I told her that I was being myself in the Mid-90s when I was dressing like The Kinks. She asked, "You were?" When she phoned back, I told her that I like the 60s more than most people and that's my happy place. She said, "of course you're going to wear the same clothes as The Kinks, because you like them."

I know that my mum wants her happy place to be my happy place. I'm also aware that she's crushed, because that's not the case. Fathers dream that their sons will be like them, and mothers grow up that their daughters will grow up to be like them. If those dreams don't come true, they feel let down on the inside.

I think this describes a lot of why both of my parents don't accept me for who I am--they want me to a job-holding, boyfriend-having, college grad. Not that it excuses the fact that they don't accept me.

People used to try to change me a lot, too, but they've backed off since I've become an adult.