Is your perfectionism completely misunderstood?

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Does it ever happen that certain people harshly criticize you for being a bad person when you insist on factual correctness or procedures being critical to the success of a goal - even if you do it politely?

In my case, I am a soft spoken person who does not impose himself on others. But I have put forth opinions at times, and challenged requests, when I saw that the other person needed to have something explained so that they understood that there is a better way to achieve what they want. But when I did this, the other person would act extremely hurt and throw the blame on me, calling me stubborn or rude... and that left me completely dumbfounded for one simple reason: I wanted them to have THE BEST, which is why I put forth an opposing argument; NOT because I was unwilling to do something for them!!

Any situation that involves another person's hurt feelings coupled with their unwillingness to explain those feelings rationally (usually if the other person is mad at you they won't do you the "favor" of explaining why - adding more salt to the wound) ends up making me feel hurt as well, even when there was absolutely no desire on my part for any angst to come out of anything.

I wonder if some of you can relate to this kind of thing.

Sure. I learned over time to withhold offering factual corrections like that after realizing that it is most often met with negative reaction. Mostly I don't say anything unless it is important for work or safety reasons.

At one point I became curious about the particular offended reaction you describe and did some research. Made note of it happening in books or movies. It seems to be that the offended reaction source is twofold:

1. Person is embarrassed about their ineptitude and feel that it is not polite or tactful of you (or me) to correct them. They may feel that you offered the correction with that knowledge and did it anyway out of spite. See, not only are they embarrassed but they also assume that you have full understanding of the social implications of the correction and, in offering it anyway, you are being vindictive
2. If the person becomes even further agitated when you (or I) ask them why they are offended, it seems that they may be annoyed or frustrated with your lack of comprehensive understanding of the social dynamic surrounding this scenario. This appears to be particularly common among women, the NT version of which uses a even greater range of subtext than their NT male counterparts in social interaction.

or something.

bah! it's easier just to nod along and extricate yourself from their presence at first opportunity,.