Feeling like you annoy people

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Do you ever feel like you annoy people or that people don't really like you? I've started to attend meetings arranged by a student organisation at college. It's an organisation for people with psychological and/or neurological issues. People with and without diagnoses are welcome. I've been there twice and I really like it but for some reason I just feel like I annoy people because I'm so quiet and I don't smile that much etc. Sometimes I feel like people avoid me because of it. Do you reckon that's all in my head? Is it some sort of social anxiety? How does one know if one is annoying or if it's just one's anxiety "talking"? I'm so unsure about it I don't know if I want to attend the meeting this afternoon.

I sometimes feel like that even with people I've known for years. Sometimes I botch the saying hello/greeting part of the social interaction so badly that I feel I've placed myself outside the group. Then I'm an outsider for the rest of the evening.. and I'm pretty sure this annoys people as they act as if I'm not in the room.. which is pretty unfriendly.

Wish I could hold up a sign saying 'hello! over here! I'm not being unfriendly!' (Which is basically what NT's do with their nonverbal gubbins).

Absolutely. I feel that my inherent presence annoys people and puts people off. I can read body language and I can see and feel the other person disengage from the conversation. (I don't know if I meet full criteria for AS, but I feel I'm definitely affected by all the social issues which seem to be associated with AS.)

While I'm sure it is partly in my head, there are some things that I do that cause other people to want to end the conversation as soon as possible.

1. My body language is off-putting, and people see that before I open my mouth. I used to think people didn't like me because I wasn't pretty, but it doesn't change when I put effort into my appearance. I saw myself on a video where you can't hear what I'm saying, and it took me a long time to figure out why watching the video made me so frustrated with myself. There is an awkward, hesitant quality to the way I move- as if I don't know what I'm going to do next. I think this translates to other people as a lack of confidence or a "shifty and suspicious" quality, and those aren't qualities that people find engaging. (The funny thing is that I'm quite confident on the inside, I just don't project it physically.)

2. Because I'm so used to being rejected, I have an awkward and hesitant quality to my voice which people also find off-putting. If I am having a conversation which becomes stressful or emotional, my voice changes and people somehow perceive me as aggressive or defensive. I don't know how to convey that I feel strongly about something without sounding this way, so I can't help but think that it's not okay for me to communicate how I feel.

There are a few things which I find helpful.
1. If I make time in my schedule for exercise, I feel mentally calmer and more comfortable in my own skin for the next few days, and my body language and tone improves. I feel people respond to me better.

2. I try to pay attention to people who are engaging based on their body language and tone, and see if I can mirror what they do while still keeping my own authenticity.

3. As far as how you can tell if someone wants to be friends with you, I have no clue, but I have something I want to try. I think my strategy in conversations going forward is to keep conversations short, sweet, and focused on the other person. (easier said than done.) If the other person actually shows interest in me or asks me a question about myself, that might tell me that they're interested in me and worth getting to know.

Thanks for this thread. I've gained so much understanding from this forum. It hasn't been easy to face these truths about myself, but the more I understand the more I can address things.

I get the feeling that I annoy people too, but I think that I don't.
I even think I annoy my friends at times.
The people that I interact with usually seem to like me, so I think that the feeling of being annoying is just me worried about whether or not I am communicating myself well. I get a little scared when I'm unsure of what to say with people.

Wow, this sounds really familiar to me. I find, if I'm in the company of two or three people, I'm comfortable enough to be engaging and this involvement, in turn, keeps me connected so much so that I think the people I'm with actually like me. As the number of people increase, my comfort levels subside drammatically, I find myself withdrawn, and I feel that I exude unpleasantness to others. Once, while attending a meeting, I actually caught a co-worker texting another with "what's wrong with him?". It's kind of a relief to see I'm not the only one who experiences this kind of thing.