Generalizing

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Sometimes, I make statements like "X is stupid", where X is an activity that I don't do, because I think that it is stupid for me to do it.

e.g. Taking notes is stupid.
e.g. Making lists is stupid.
e.g. Using GPS is stupid.

All three of these activities, I don't do, because they are ineffective for me and make things harder, not easier, for me.

Whenever I make one of these statements, what I mean is "X is stupid for me" or "I think that X is stupid for me", but what other people think that I mean is "X is stupid, and you are stupid for doing X", and of course, they get mad at me for supposedly meaning such a thing, when I was ackshuly thinking about the stupidity of X for me personally and how stupid X is for me when I do it and how verry merry berry stupid it is for me to do X, not the stupidity of X for others or their stupidity for doing X.

Eggspecially GPS, it is really stupid.

I don't know if this is an NT-autistic communication clash or what, or maybe it happens regardless of whether someone is NT or autistic. But it seems like people always think that I am always generalizing to include them in my statements, when in fact I was only thinking about myself and how I feel about things. I don't think that I am much moar egocentric for only thinking about me than they are for thinking that eberrything that eberryone else says is about them instead of the person from whose mouth the words dribbled. I don't want to have to state eberrything like "I think that..." or "....for me" or "I think that....for me". I ackshuly try to do this to avoid this problem, but I often forget to do it. I don't care if someone else says that one of the things that I like or like to do is stupid. I am thinking that they are probably not thinking or talking about me, but most people seem to think that other people are always thinking and talking about them.

e.g. Drawing pictures is stupid.
e.g. Singing songs is stupid.
e.g. Using maps is stupid.
e.g. Baseball is stupid.
e.g. Figure skating is stupid.

Ever since I started to speak a whole moar moar moar, due to learning to talk bester from talk therapy, I have been running into these miscommunications moar moar moar eggswell.

I find most people generalize too much. It happens here, and it happens on other forums. It even happens on Youtube.

You could start saying "Taking notes for myself is stupid" "Using GPS for myself is stupid" "Making lists for myself is stupid" or you can just simply say they are useless for you. Or you can say you don't like doing them or they don't interest you or you are not into them. So that way it will help you avoid misunderstandings. I have had to change the way I speak over the years as well.

"I don't like drawing pictures"
"I don't like figure skating"
"I don't like to sing."
"I can't use maps because they don't work for me."
"I am not into sports."
"Sports don't interest me."

BTW I have never met anyone who thought something was stupid for them just because they don't like it or because it doesn't work for them. Is that why you say they are stupid right? Because they don't work for you or because you are not into them?

Yeah, I think that something is stupid, because it doesn't work for me. Like as soon as I hear "GPS", I think that it is really stupid, because it doesn't work for me, and I hate the annoying voice mouthing off in the car, and why won't it shut up, oh that's because I pressed the wrong buttons, and I also resist attempts by others to make me use the GPS when I am driving and I don't want to use it.

In my opinion, I think your statement "X is stupid." is actually a general statement and may well be interpreted so. So, I don't think you can blame people for interpreting your statements in that way. Also people in general tend to take things personally. You should probably simply avoid making negative statements that sound general if you don't want misunderstanding.

Sorry for not supporting you in this.

This definitely sounds like an NT/AS communication issue. Aspies tend to talk self-referentially whereas NT's tend to talk socially. This means they interpret generalizations as referring to all involved and not just the speaker. Thus, you saying something they do is stupid implies that they are stupid by association. Perhaps a change of verbiage would help. Try saying "I prefer not to do X" next time. It is a more precise way of communicating the point in a way that can't easily be misconstrued by the listener.

Actually maybe a great deal of stuff is stupid
Maybe you have a gift....

Buddha prolly thought most stuff was stupid too

Doctors are stupid
Autism is stupid
WP is stupid
I am stupid
You are stupid
We are all stupid

Liberation[from stupidity] can now begin

From logical point:

X is stupid. Therefore, if someone do X, he does stupid. So he is stupid ("stupid is as stupid does").

This time it's not that people are illogical so they misunderstand this statement. It's an error with your message - it's too imprecise (yes, too general), so you should fix it. For example, say "in my case, X is stupid" ("in my case, taking notes is stupid").

It's like math: if you claim, that given statement is true, it should be true for all possibilities.

What you tell:


What you mean:


(well, "you" is you, but "me" is not actually me, it's hypotetical person talking with you, who does like to take notes).

Hope it helps.