Interfering sister?

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My brother is 30 years old and I suspect that he may have Aspergers. But I don't know whether to tell him.

There are a lot of traits and indications over many years that have led me to believe that he might have Aspergers but it only fully clicked with me recently. The more I look into it, the more obvious it becomes. The thing is, he is married now and working as an engineer and has sorted out a life for himself. I'm afraid of rocking the boat if I suggest that he get a diagnosis. Especially as he and his wife both seem happy whereas I am just the sister that lives overseas. I'm worried he might react badly, or that his wife might react badly and I'm not entirely sure he has even heard of Aspergers.

On this site and in a podcast I recently heard, I've come across more and more people who say that it was a real relief to get a diagnosis because suddenly they understood how their brain worked. This got me thinking that I might owe it to him to tell him what I think, bad reaction or not.

I wanted to find out what your opinions are on this.
Is it always better to get a diagnosis? Or should I leave it up to him and his wife to do what's right for them? Is it clear cut?

Thanks in advance!

If someone told me years ago that I had AS, I would've been eternally grateful to them...

I don't know what to tell you, but... last month, I told one of my older sisters about how I thought I had Asperger's. Her response was basically, "I knew that for a while." Personally, I would've liked it if someone brought it up with me sooner than have me stumble upon it in my late 20s.

I cried when my mother finally told me she thought I had Autism. They were tears of relief.
My only advice is that if you do decide to bring it up, treat it casually. Don't make a huge production out of it, cause it would likely just make him feel self conciousness.
Good luck!

If you told me that I was autistic when I was a teenager, I would've been quite persistent at denying it. There's was no way to get me to acknowledge I was autistic. I had to do it all by myself.

I think you should tell him what you think.

Thanks a lot for all your advice.

"If your brother has it you might have some weak symptoms, too. And one of your parents. (That's for genetically acquired autism)."

I just took a few tests myself and score 120 to 130. Funny that I'd never thought of it in those terms and always focused on my brother...

I think it depends enormeously first and foremost on the kind of relationship you have with your brother. So much so, that not knowing that, I can't even begin to answer your question.