Why NTs can never fully understand us

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19 Dec 2015, 5:38 pm

I have been through a process over the last four years I have Aspergers Autism what we chose to call it is beside the point.
I have become close friends with a relative with classic Autism and I have watched this individual grow.

Problem is as his confidence grows he tends to come across as a jerk but I know he is not he bends over backwards not to offend people .
I am seeing myself in him and the advice I am trying to impart to him is not to take life so serious that advice that was given to me that I never really understood until recently.
The odd thing is I think he is getting it but we all have self doubts and I can feel that in him also.

People say we don't have empty I call bull on that one.

kraftiekortie
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19 Dec 2015, 6:04 pm

Of course we have empathy. People who say we don't are misinformed. It is our job to inform them.

cavernio
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19 Dec 2015, 6:08 pm

I seriously lack empathy. Course I'm not diagnosed. And not completely.

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Last edited by cavernio on 19 Dec 2015, 6:11 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Starfoxx
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19 Dec 2015, 6:10 pm

kraftiekortie wrote:

Of course we have empathy. People who say we don't are misinformed. It is our job to inform them.

True.
My dad told the person who assessed me for ASD that I had limited empathy for silly reasons like buying Christmas gifts ppl didn't like and I didn't show emotion when he left for a few months .. Im just rubbish at gift buying and I thought I'm not supposed to show emotion. I was sad but pretended I wasnt so he didn't worry about me or something. Then he was upset because of it

sharkattack
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19 Dec 2015, 6:13 pm

kraftiekortie wrote:

Of course we have empathy. People who say we don't are misinformed. It is our job to inform them.

Can't add anything to this except to say I totally agree.

kraftiekortie
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19 Dec 2015, 6:18 pm

There are times when Aspies have to learn empathy through life experience. This is pretty much what happened to me.

But to say that we lack the capacity to feel empathy is ridiculous.

cyberdad
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19 Dec 2015, 6:29 pm

I'm an NT (well I might surprise myself one day if I get a formal diagnosis)

It's bleedingly obvious most Aspies will never understand what people with more "severe" forms of autism go through.

"Us" means Aspies it excludes those who are on one particular side of the autism spectrum. "Us" is a construct designed for social convenience that does not reflect any universal reality. WP members who are are Aspies don't fully know what half the autistic community go through in a normal day.

kraftiekortie
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19 Dec 2015, 6:36 pm

Probably not...but we can learn. We should not be demonized because of lack of knowledge. We should be demonized if we fail to listen.

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19 Dec 2015, 6:37 pm

Probably for the same reason we can never fully understand them.

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19 Dec 2015, 6:45 pm

cyberdad wrote:

All I can say is we can all only play the hand life had dealt us.
I must question what you think an aspie is?

I have never been in a relationship I have been bullied for most of my life and I was fired from quite a few jobs before I learned to hold one down.
I feel a sense of achievement when I grow as a person or overcome a difficulty but make no mistake I am no Sheldon Cooper.

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19 Dec 2015, 6:46 pm

Spiderpig wrote:

Probably for the same reason we can never fully understand them.

True.

kraftiekortie
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19 Dec 2015, 6:47 pm

I don't care for Sheldon myself.

sharkattack
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19 Dec 2015, 6:48 pm

kraftiekortie wrote:

I don't care for Sheldon myself.

Nor do I.

cyberdad
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19 Dec 2015, 6:56 pm

sharkattack wrote:

I must question what you think an aspie is?

Good question...it's a construct created by the psychiatrist Lorna Wing to classify people with specific symptoms. It's a label created in the past for medical convenience.

It would seem it's a question you should ask your fellow WP members what they think being an Aspie means to them?

For my ASD diagnosed daughter it means nothing. For many people with ASD "us" means an army of one.

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19 Dec 2015, 6:57 pm

kraftiekortie wrote:

I don't care for Sheldon myself.

Sheldon is not autistic

kraftiekortie
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19 Dec 2015, 7:01 pm

He's a caricature of an Aspie-like person. I don't care for him, autistic or not.

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