Caught between worlds.

Post Reply New Topic

I guess this is a pretty normal feeling, but how do you deal with the feeling of being caught between two worlds.

I've been in denial for so long about my AS, that I find it hard to acknowledge the differences between me and the regular person.

I know as a fact that I'm not normal, yet at the same time I'm so good at faking it I can forget. I feel like I have a split personality where my AS side and my pretending sides aren't aware each other exists.

Does this fit? I wrote it pre-meltdown yesterday:

Is this war
Or is this revolution
What’s the difference, what’s the difference?
It’s the place between your needs and mine
It’s the space I seek
But never seem to find
Is it selfish to expect
That I can call the world my own
That in some respect
I need to be alone

I just live with it. I know I am not a normal NT but yet I am not a normal aspie, I am in between. I know I hated being different when I was a kid starting at age ten and then at age 14 I didn't mind anymore. Now I should deal with being different than other aspies. I sometimes feel like a fake aspie.

But surely you get tired of acting. I do, and every now and then I crash and will not see any people.