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RawSugar
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17 Oct 2012, 8:30 pm

Okay, this is a crosspost because I'm a moron and fouled up on where to post this the first time butttt...
it's like this,
I'm not going to give a big background speech on my life with Asperger's, because with the way that I have a tendency to ramble on, a novel would suddenly find it's presence in these forums. To put things in short form, I was diagnosed with Asperger's at the age of 19, after spending my entire life struggling under the pre tense of attempting to pretend to be normal to the entire world.
Since my medical diagnosis, I have been working with a specialist to put together various education plans, take IQ tests, the usual. In addition, I attended a series of workshops presented by him, moderated by a panel of people with Aspergers or married to, or otherwise affected by it. Following this workshop my specialist approached me and asked if I was would be able to mentor a younger girl with Aspergers, in her teens.
Basically the way that things are going, I know nothing about this girl that I agreed to mentor due to confidentiality. Though she has agreed to meet me, from a legal standpoint, I can't actually know anything about her until I meet her, and the way that things keep going through my head are like, what if I completely bomb this? Most of the time I can't even deal with myself on a daily basis, let alone a teenager. I know that the majority of you are going to tell me to be myself, but I don't even know what to say to her when I meet her. So someone, HELP. Even if you just pep talk me.
Thanks for taking the time to read this and consider my words. If you need any more details don't hesitate to PM me, please.
Julia.



InThisTogether
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17 Oct 2012, 8:36 pm

I think what you are doing is simply awesome. When my daughter is a teenager, I hope there is someone like you to work with her. My son once had an older kid who had similar issues take him under his wing. It was a beautiful thing. Really.

The fact that you will be able to relate to her and not make her feel like a freak will probably be enough. Teens need that. Someone who can speak from experience. Someone who is not their parent. Someone who is still young enough to be seen as at least kind of cool.

I don't think you would have been asked to do it unless you were seen as uniquely fit to offer something of benefit. If I were you, I would go into it without expectations or plans. Just share your story and listen to hers. That is always a great place to start.


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naturalplastic
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17 Oct 2012, 9:47 pm

Dont want to pry into how old you are, but if you're only college age yourself- I can see how it could be stressful to mentor someone only slightly younger than yourself.

But still- what "in this together" said.

Its sounds like a great idea.



Dantac
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17 Oct 2012, 9:53 pm

I think you may find this a very rewarding experience. So will the person you will be mentoring.

Basically be her older sister and in your eyes, treat her as if she was your daughter. The fact that you already went through what she is already going through will literally let you help her get through it and advise her on how what mistakes you made or what to expect of things.

I have not mentored someone with AS or any form of autism but I have some mentoring experience. It is very rewarding to see that kid today in late teens succeeding and armed with skills picked up from me (how to build own computer, interest in history/anthropology, etc).

This mentoring not only will help this girl but also you. Dont worry about bombing it, that just cannot happen. You lived through all the crap AS threw at you when younger and now you have the chance of helping her deal with and overcome those same issue.

:)



emimeni
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18 Oct 2012, 12:35 pm

I wish I had a disabled mentor to turn to for advice and look up to when I was a kid or teenager. I might've felt less lonely.

The age thing might be an issue, but honestly, if she isn't too much younger than you, you can think of her as a younger sister.

Good luck.


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LoriB
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18 Oct 2012, 12:47 pm

All she really needs is to know she is not alone. It is awful to feel like you are the only person out there who feels and thinks this way. This year I put my 13 year old in a school for kids with high IQ's but who have difficulty learning in a standard classroom. There are Aspies, ADD, Dislexic etc.. but no "titles" are ever used. The teachers understand when he says off the wall stuff it is his defenses and they are able to softly redirect him rather than say OMG... Are you crazy... don't do that! He has also been surrounded with kids who are like he is. Some more severe some less but all who are considered "different" He has blossomed. He has a friend spend entire weekends at our house and a "girlfriend" when he never left his room or hung out with anyone. She just needs to know she has a place to fit in and you will be the best person to give her that!



outofplace
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18 Oct 2012, 1:21 pm

Honestly, no one ever does this sort of thing perfectly. You just need to do the best you can to try and mentor her and let her see that she is not alone. She will probably end up teaching you things too as everyone has something to teach you. A personal example from my life is that the only other aspie I know is in his early 20's. He had figured out I was an aspie before I ever did and was able to complete my sentence when I was asking him if it made sense. We are different people, but he's been a good sounding board for me to try and sort this out while I have been trying to teach him auto mechanics. In the end what matters is not that you do it perfectly but rather that you help her understand that she is not alone in this.


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thewhitrbbit
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18 Oct 2012, 2:04 pm

outofplace wrote:
Honestly, no one ever does this sort of thing perfectly. You just need to do the best you can to try and mentor her and let her see that she is not alone. She will probably end up teaching you things too as everyone has something to teach you. A personal example from my life is that the only other aspie I know is in his early 20's. He had figured out I was an aspie before I ever did and was able to complete my sentence when I was asking him if it made sense. We are different people, but he's been a good sounding board for me to try and sort this out while I have been trying to teach him auto mechanics. In the end what matters is not that you do it perfectly but rather that you help her understand that she is not alone in this.


Agreed.

Just do your best. Just knowing that you've been through the same things she is might be enough.



bnky
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18 Oct 2012, 2:16 pm

I would probably over-worry and freak out if I were asked to do the same as you've been asked.
... and I would love it if I'd had someone to do with me what you've been asked to do as a mentor.
Good luck to both of you... and have fun 8)