I know what I got to do in life, go to school and get a job?
But all that is easier said than done. I just don't care about any of that. No matter how much "encouragement" I do and will receive, none of it will ever drive me to do anything with my life. I'm good as a dead right? The President of the USA could come up to me right now, give me his support personally, and I still wouldn't give a good gosh darn. So.. I need a little advice from someone who felt the same as I do before a proper diagnoses. I'm in the dark as to whether or not I'm on this spectrum. I made a thread a few weeks ago but I didn't get any responses. Shine a little light on me, please. I would like to read something from another human being.
What I am going to tell you know is surely not what you want to hear. It doesn't matter whether or not you "care," you either have to do something for a living, or you're going to end up as a homeless person. The other alternative, living on other people's cost, should be reserved for those who are actually not able to work.
I don't think that encouragement would help you; you rather need some discipline and sense of duty. People don't work because they feel like, they do it because they need to.
People don't work because they feel like, they do it because they need to.
That is so nicely said and I suppose it's true. I still have a hard time to "work just because I have to". I wish I could understand how that works, because without motivation to do anything, well, it seems impossible to do anything.
I would always suggest getting a proper education but the truth is that without motivation it won't work. The world is full of unmotivated college students who are there only because they "have to". It seems to me that they are wasting their lives living like the everything is just a party. However, education may lead to you discovering what you want to do. Nobody knows what they want to do in their lives before they have seen what is out there.
I believe I felt that same way as you. Then I learned that I only needed to do whatever I wanted to do and turn my special interest into a career. Of course, this advice requires that you have special interests that are worth anything. And I wouldn't know how neurotypicals would solve this problem if they lack the ability to have special interests (but I don't think that is true...I'm sure they have them too).
If you are on the spectrum or not, that is not important. You problem seems to be more related to depression or similar conditions. I don't think autism equals no motivation to do anything. In my case I apparently seem to lack motivation to do what people want me to do, but I don't lack motivation in general.
IsItAsd,may I ask what you are doing currently? What are your interests? Did you ever try to do anything, but you failed and lost motivation?
If you don't care about it, then you may be doing something wrong. Are you trying to get a job that is considered "good", has status, gives you plenty of money and is what your family is expecting from you? That may seem to be the usual way to go in life, but if you don't care about all that, then it won't work. Have you tried thinking about what you actually want to work with?
People don't work because they feel like, they do it because they need to.
That is so nicely said and I suppose it's true. I still have a hard time to "work just because I have to". I wish I could understand how that works, because without motivation to do anything, well, it seems impossible to do anything.
I would always suggest getting a proper education but the truth is that without motivation it won't work. The world is full of unmotivated college students who are there only because they "have to". ... Nobody knows what they want to do in their lives before they have seen what is out there.
I believe I felt that same way as you. Then I learned that I only needed to do whatever I wanted to do and turn my special interest into a career. Of course, this advice requires that you have special interests that are worth anything. ...
I think that motivation is basically a nice thing, but no matter what, there are going to be days or longer periods of time when you hate everything, especially your job. That's just part of the game. Sometimes you hate it, sometimes you love it.
Living independently can be a motivation within itself and adults shouldn't live with their parents because that means they have to ask them for everything. That's undignified.
If there were no pressure, would children even go to school and learn something? Negative motivation, i.e., doing something in order to avoid disadvantages, is still better than no motivation at all.
Just because you hate what you are doing doesn't mean you lack motivation.
If there were no pressure, would children even go to school and learn something? Negative motivation, i.e., doing something in order to avoid disadvantages, is still better than no motivation at all.
Negative motivation is very powerful motivation. Probably stronger than positive. It's one of the basic components in survival.
Hei, yeah. I think you have some kind of depressive phase, those can last really long. And they can get worse.
That's what made you loosing your drive and interest.
I realised when I am down that I will be easily bored by other people. If it gets better for a while I am not. I like being around people, but I have only one friend.
I know this feeling not wanting to look people in the eyes. It feels embarrassing. Especially when I am stressed or down or uncertain.
If you are able to fight your depression you'll do better.
And you could talk to anybody. Even if you just talk sometimes BS, it doesn't matter. People that are similar will like you and you'll feel accepted by them.
You should absolutely try to finnish your high school and do that what you like. Probably you'll still have to find out what that could be.
Some specialization is good for aspies, because they will master that. Then you'll be able to get a job with that.
I'd even suggest you to study at the university, because people there are more open minded and more like you. And they are less boring and less stupid. University is not a good working place though, too stressful.
That's what I can say from my experience so far.
Fight your depression somehow and connect to people that you seem to like by some means. They'll like you back.
Don't expect too much from aspies here. They are far away and sometimes too over-stressed to answer.
Well people, the reason I think I'm on the spectrum is because of my high school experience. I never really had friends nor did I speak much.. well in crowds anyways. When ever I would walk through a crowded hall, I would get anxious and embarrassed and look straight ahead. Eye contact was awkward but i knew i had to make it now and then. My favorite class would have to be english anything with literacy involved. I used to lay awake at nights just thinking, it would keep me up, eventually those thoughts would lead me to write a poem. But now it's jokes, I figure I could make people laugh when I talk to them by using a joke. I usually end up making people laugh without even trying to, since it comes naturally.. i guess... I could harness that power. I joined the air cadets one day, it only lasted about a week or two, not because I didn't like it. But because I hated the fact that I had to go out in public for a few hours. Sometimes I wish I could turn invisible when I feel that awkwardness creeping up my back. I think that it isn't depression holding me back, but my lack of my job and social skills. If I knew how all this stuff worked I would go out and do it. But not knowing what to do is what i think is really holding me back. I don't care for encouragement because I don't know how to live like a "normal" person.
Living like a normal person is overrated. You don't need to know how to function in the world like a neurotypical to be able to do your job (unless your job is to act like a neurotypical). I don't really know how the social world works, but I don't really care to think too much about it. I used to find it very difficult to live in the normal world, but then I stopped caring about it and only focused on doing my job.
It looks like you don't know what to do because you are too stuck in your way of thinking. You are thinking that "you cannot do anything because you don't know how". It is possible to learn how things work, so you should think more about how to improve yourself than regretting over what went wrong. Of course it is hard to find the answer by yourself and it's also hard to get help because people usually don't understand what the problem is because it's too obvious for them. Also, if you don't know "how to do" whatever you are doing, then maybe you are not doing the right thing.
(Yes, this advice is stupid, I guess. I would probably hate it if someone told me the same.)
It looks like you don't know what to do because you are too stuck in your way of thinking. You are thinking that "you cannot do anything because you don't know how". It is possible to learn how things work, so you should think more about how to improve yourself than regretting over what went wrong. Of course it is hard to find the answer by yourself and it's also hard to get help because people usually don't understand what the problem is because it's too obvious for them. Also, if you don't know "how to do" whatever you are doing, then maybe you are not doing the right thing.
(Yes, this advice is stupid, I guess. I would probably hate it if someone told me the same.)
There is nothing wrong with truth. I do not hate you for telling me this.
Oh ok, so you just feel embarrassed, although you seem to use quite well social skills. Do you have bad experience with feeling that people reject you?
That would be typical AS. I know what you are talking about although I am much more afraid of people rejecting me.
Just look around here and look for feelings that seem to be similar to yours. Then you'll know (more).
You don't have to be like a "normal" person. People also like aspies or at least some aspects of our traits.
Going to school and getting a job is pointless if it won't increase your happiness nor make you survive any better. A bachelors pretty much guarantees you the same pay as if you work in a damned warehouse nowadays. There's a reason why this cycle seems pointless, because it is, and we see it.
Going to school and getting a job is pointless only if you don't use your degree (or if your degree is in English literature or in some similar hipster major ...no offense but that is true). Having a good degree should mean that you don't have to work in a damned warehouse.
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