Can therapy actually be helpful?

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How does therapy for autistic people help?
Have any of you had such therapy, has it helped?

I went to the doctors today to refill my new antidepressants (I rejected the idea of antidepressants for years, but due to regression as a result of unemployment and problems with my last relationship my anxiety had gotten too bad not to try them) and to get a new sick note for my disability benefits. Normally I'll see a different doctor each time I go to my surgery and none of them really care about me so it's a very quick in-and-out appointment, but today's doctor was a locum (who seem to care far more for those they see during appointments) so she started quizzing me about my anxiety and problems getting a new job - queue me acting even more autistic than normal.

The doctor was pressuring me into considering therapy - I believe that my only way to improve is to get a job, but due to regression I'm not sure I can work again, in fact I'm not even sure what work I could do, catch 22. I went to therapy from ages 12-15, and again in my early twenties (both before my ASD diagnosis or even before I knew about AS/ASD) - I've never seen the point in going to 'talking therapies' when you struggle to talk, and I've never found such therapies to be of any use what-so-ever.

The doctor then suggested specifically going to an autism expert - firstly I was far from impressed by the lack of knowledge of autism from so-called experts who carried out my ASD assessment so I don't feel too positive about autism experts, but also I fail to see how such therapy would be useful. When I think about such therapy I think about them trying to deal with issues like anxiety as they would in NT people and trying to train me to be more NT to the point of making my autism problems worse.

Am I just being closed-minded and stubborn?
Should I risk trying to see an autism expert?

I would give it a chance. You can stop if you don't find it useful.

I did talk therapy for awhile, both one-on-one and in groups, and the thing that I learned was first, to talk or verbalize my thoughts, and second, to think in a new and different way like how to identify emotions, how to verbalize emotions, the big picture of what I wanted to do with my life, and a little about how other people thought as NTs. My therapist did not try to turn me into an NT, and I did not become moar NT through therapy. It was moar like I gained some emotional, verbal, and communication tools and learned some things about a different theory of mind. I also became moar confident, primarily because I gained moar tools, moar abilities, eggspecially in communication, an area of anxiety before. Before therapy, I did not even understand what feeling was anxiety or what was the word for it.

The answer to your question depends on what particular aspect of your own personal difficulties you would like assistance with. There are components of autism that are unlikely to ever change no matter the treatment. However, you're talking a bit about anxiety here. That sort of thing absolutely can be helped by therapy. Cognitive behavioural therapy, specifically. You say you've been in therapy before, so you have a good idea what it entails and what you may or may not benefit from trying again. If that was the regular counseling style talky therapy I can see why you didn't get much out of it. If you haven't tried CBT, ask about it. It's very different process than regular therapy. More problem specific, less nebulous.

Hope that answered your question?

anxiety is especially amenable to therapy, especially if the therapy includes gradual exposure to whatever makes one anxious.

My answers would be both "yes" and "no." I saw about seven different therapists on and off from the time I was 19 until just last year (almost thirty years later). During that time only one of the seven was a good fit for me and he helped me quite a bit (so much so that he was the last one I saw and I feel fairly certain that I won't need therapy again any time soon). It helped that his sister had Asperger syndrome. The other six, however were a complete waste of my time. And so that is the first issue: You really need the right therapist for you.

If the two of you don't have a good personal rapport and if he/she doesn't understand autistic spectrum disorders well, then it's not likely to do you much good. Remember that therapists are professionals, but they are also just people who could be useless for you if they don't have a firm grasp of who you are and where you are coming from.

So, try it and if after about the third sessions, it doesn't feel like you are going anywhere or that you are being understood, then either ask for a different therapist, if possible, or investigate other ways to cope.

I have tried counselling with the free counselling service provided at work and it was of absolutely zero help whatsoever. In fact it made me feel worse.

I am currently an inpatient in psychiatric hospital and that has helped to fast track my referral to the NHS specialist psychotherapy team in my area (I had been on the waiting list since March). I found my first session with them to be quite interesting. I'm not sure how helpful it will be in the long run, but I'm willing to engage with it at this stage and see what happens. It is "mentalisation based therapy" and apparently is supposed to help me to identify and understand where my thoughts and feelings come from, and also help me to understand the thoughts, feelings and actions of others better. I hopefully will only be inpatient for a few days more and then I will continue with this on an outpatient basis.

I am also going to receive specialist 1-to-1 support (aka counselling) from the local autistic society, primarily focused on my social difficulties. Unfortunately both the NHS and local social work department have refused to fund this even though it was recommended by them! So I will be paying it myself from the DLA I was lucky enough to receive (conveniently 1 week low rate care DLA = 1 hour of support from the local autistic society). I am actually more anxious about this specialist support than about the specialist psychotherapy, and this anxiety has held me up with organising it (social work department now involved and taking over the organisation part).

I think it is worth a try ... even given your previous unhelpful experience ... if it's not helpful, at least you tried.

I heard that it is helpful only when you want to change. Terapeuts can't help you if you can't change or don't want to change.
I find therapy pretty pointless, even though it can be good sometimes because they give you advices according to your needs.
Anyway, I think it is better to find a good book and try to learn from there.

I've gotten help. My current therapist has helped reduce my number of meltdowns and has helped with things like figuring out how I'm coping with things that I need to figure out ways to cope with.

A previous therapist helped, but I don't remember how other than that she kept me in my high school.

I've had help from some people and not from others. The only ones I've gotten help from are ones that have specialties in ASDs.

All my past talk therapies never broached autism
No one knew till I found out MYSELF 3 yrs ago
So they were all a waste of time in the end

Thats not fair. I got something out of it most times, but even just talking your mind to even a cat is beneficial too

Well, I got some benefit but not knowing about AS I got some pretty counterproductive advice as well. In retrospect, before I twigged to what might be going on myself, I told my T : I just don't understand the 'rules'! She laughed and said: You can make up your own rules. They can be 'name's' rules. Not helpful. I earnestly tried to start figuring out how I would go about making my own rules. Meltdown fodder, that's what that was.