Maybe asperger?

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Hi everybody!

I have been wandering around for many years, with sad thoughts and hate. I went to a therapist for 10 times, and she felt there was a possibility, that I had asperger, but a mild incident.

I'm not sure though, I know there's some traits that I share, but when reading this forum I really doubt if I am an asperger.

Things that I do, is stimming a lot, when I'm alone I can watch a picture for hours while moving my hands in front of it, I even lose track of time. I do stim in public too, but it's reduced only moving a toe, so people don't see it. If I don't stim I get nervous, lose my connection with people, and just turns my thoughts inwards.

I have some friends that I love hanging around with, but it can't be too often, as I really need my space. A perfect world for me would be, that I was alone all year, and just met a friend 2-3 times, and that would be all.

I often get my feelings to spin around in my head, I remember things from my childhood (I'm in my twenties, male), and gets angry or embarrassed. I don't know why, but I just can't control it - one should think, that I could forget those things and move on, but it doesn't seem like I can.

When I read these forums, people seem to have been bullied all life, and just have no friends, even though they want to. That is why I feel strange about the asperger label, as I have a lot of friends, and I have never had a problem getting friends. Actually it's hard for me to get people to leave me alone, they call me very often. It gives me a bad conscience, that I have to turn people down, as it completely ruins my day, if I have to meet somebody.

Often when I meet new people, they look up to me, and I often get the reaction that I'm "alpha", and they respect me a lot. I have absolutely no idea why that happens, as I pretty much hates my self, and I do absolutely nothing to make friendships.

Also people say on these forums, that aspergers can lie - I can lie, pretty well also. But I am in doubt, if that is a thing that I have practiced to do. I don't like to lie, it makes me hate my self even more, but I surely can do it. And I'm not naive, I can see when people are f*****g with me. I just got the impression that aspergers tends to be "naive".

Anyways, those things makes me unsure, if I'm asperger or not. My therapist told med "mild", but I'm not sure wether you can be mild or not. And when reading this forum, I can relate to a lot of the "side-effects", but not the life stories, which seem to be very terrible compared to mine, as I tend to get a lot of positive experiences from people, but I tend to not appreciate it, as I dream my self to another place.

Does anyone have some asperger stories, which doesn't involve getting bullied and such?

(excuse my language, I'm not english, but I try to do my best formulating my self)

Folks with aspergers lie. They do.

Being bullied is not required.

i've been more shunned than bullied, and i have friends and a decent job and am married.

You dont have to have been bullied. I was never bullied it was more of when my friends went out places the people they went with didnt want me to come along with them because i was weird or quiet or not fun. They would never tell me directly but after a while i just got the hint.

I can relate to the remembering things of embarrassment from years ago they seem to just creep back into my head some days too. Also i have quite a few friends too, although some might be on the spectrum themselves and im not out everyday hanging out, but there still willing to hangout whenever i call them. Not all aspies are completely oblivious. I can tell when someone is messing with me most of the time, it gets easier the more i get to know the person. its when they do little subtle things that i interpret literally instead of catch the reference that makes me look naive. Sociopaths have a tendency to easily be able to manipulate me.

But you guys seem to have problems, that other people doesn't like, and therefore doesn't want to hangout. For me I make friends fast, and people calls me very often to hangout, just one and one or in parties.

My problem is the things going on in my head, which i apparently are pretty good at hiding, since people doesn't think I have "issues". I have met people, who I would point out as aspergers, as they are very hard to communicate with, and the dialog tends to be very straight forward.

I know my social skills aren't as normal people, as I tend to be a little eccentric in my humor and the general things I say. But my friends and people I meet always thinks it's cool, with a different humor, so it haven't hurt me.

It is just strange, that I have plenty of people to see, but for the last year I haven't seen much, as I pretty much turns everyone down, as I prefer to be alone - I get so tired when I'm around people.

All because it isn't obvious that you have Asperger Syndrome doesn't mean you don't have it.

Maldo, a couple questions.

Can you tell all the time when people are kidding with you or are being serious?
Can others tell if you are kidding or being serious with them?
Do you always ask others if everything is ok?
Do people ask you why you are unhappy when you really are happy?
How often do you accidentally interrupt (when you really are not trying to you just thought it was your turn) on the phone?
Do you monologue?
Do you get so caught up in talking when you are on a subject that you follow people out of the room and keep talking?

The things you read here are posted because certain individuals are having an issue with them at the time they were posted. They are not universal truths about the aspie experience. Not everyone was bullied, and not everyone has had issues with the social oddness of their particular brand of autism (yes...Asperger's IS autism!). Some live in life situations where their quirks are accepted. Some present near normal enough to get by without teasing. Some have learned how to deal with social issues intellectually in a way that matches the intuitive way an NT deals with them (this also causes aspie exhaustion in prolonged social situations because of the mental energy it takes to keep up a false front.) We are all different people and have different personalities and abilities as well as differing levels of disability. Stay here long enough and you'll see that is the case.

First, welcome to Wrong Planet!

Second, You sound a little like me. I'm not certain I have AS (hence my signature), but if I do, it's toward the mild end. I've been to a therapist who, although she couldn't give me a diagnosis without going through a drawn-out process, told me that I seem to "tend toward" having Asperger's. I can relate to a lot of what others here have experienced, but not everything. But that's why the autism spectrum is a spectrum; not everyone--even those within the Asperger's classification--experience autism the same way, and some have more severe impairments than others.

Also, if you don't meet the diagnostic criteria for Asperger's, you might still fall within the Broad Autism Phenotype (BAP). That basically means that you have a fair number of autism-like traits, but not necessarily enough to qualify for an ASD diagnosis.

http://www.autismunited.org/blog/broad-autism-phenotype
http://iancommunity.org/cs/glossary_term?glossary.id=11&letter=B

Thanks for the answers guys!

Well, it's a little difficult to answer, because I can always see if people are joking, BUT then I might get doubts later the day "did he joke with that, because there was a little truth to it?", eventually it ends up in my head all day, where I thinks about it.



No. Some people might hate me at first, but after a time they'll get to like me, because they learn about my humor. I'm probably taking sarcasm/irony to an extreme. It's mostly girls that don't dig that, but in the long term it haven't "shunned" me, because they'll learn to understand me.



Do you mean, if I "maybe" did hurt them? I can see if they are unhappy, and then I ask, I like talking about feelings and people often comes to me, if they have to talk. But if it's due to something I said, I don't care, then they're the idiots. But after some time I might realize, that I was wrong and apologize.



Nope, I think I show my feelings pretty well. My language isn't monotone, as I have read some aspies are, and I don't look sad/angry if that isn't what I am.



Hm, I did talk a lot in telephone as a kid, so it doesn't seem like a problem to me. BUT, I absolutely hates to speak in telephone, it's a waste of time, and it really gets under my nerves when people just continues talking for too long.



Yea, but only when I'm alone. I am often living in my head, so I might be talking to someone in my fantasy.



I have probably learned not to do all those strange things, so I don't follow them. I have friends, which I said in OP, that I'm sure has aspergers, as they feel awkward in social situations, and they follow you to keep talking about their subject. I don't do that, but I sure get f*****g pissed, and turns it into inner anger. That anger might just grow and grow, which is why I started at therapist, because I was having a meltdown due to all the stress/anger/sadness that had been gathered in my head.



I might very well have learned these things, and it keeps me getting so tired all the time. There's no time when I can relax, my head pretty much runs on overdrive.



Thank you, I will check those links right away.