As a rule I refer to myself here as NT but that is not completely accurate. I am dislexic. I was fortunate enough to be involved in a program that taught me strategies to work around the majority of issues. There are many examples but one is when I had to create staff schedules using military time. I could not simply remember the numbers for the times I used. It wouldn't stick in my memory. But for me I could add 2 and put a 1 in front of it. So 2:00 is 2+2.. 4 and a one in front for 14 and the zeros stuck just fine so I got to 1400. Even though I was told to add 12. I can't add 12 but I can do what I described. I also don't retain information that is no longer necessary if it doesn't interest me. And I can't decide to make it interest me. Either it does or it doesn't. I can remember word for word a conversation because it mattered but I have to think hard to remember the address of the house I lived in 8 months ago and I have no clue the address for the house before that. There is more to it but I just need to give you a bit of an overview so when I get to my question you are better able to understand. There are two huge benefits to this. One is that I am highly intuitive so I pick up on the most minute subtlety subconsciously and act on it instinctively. So before I figured out my son and my boyfriend were AS on a conscious level I was able to communicate well with them. As I gather more and more little subtleties I get AH HA moments where I have put the pieces together and the answer becomes conscious. Like OHHHH you are AS. I am also great at multitasking. The problem I need help with is that the downside of being a multitasker I have many projects going at once and I usually don't see the clutter. I work a lot and try to fit in things I enjoy doing because if I don't have anything for myself I get frustrated and bitter at having it all on my plate. Having two Aspies I have recently discovered they can't function in my chaos. However neither of them are tidy themselves and leave things laying around. So we all contribute to the mess but I don't notice it and they can't function in it. Let me say that our home doesn't look like an episode of hordes and it doesn't have food or garbage laying around. Right now I have my sewing machine on the table from when I worked on a part of my sons Halloween costume last weekend. A shoebox sized box of stuff I am using to work on a Christmas gift for my mom. Clean baby socks, school papers that need to be thrown out and a magazine. In most areas I rearrange my behaviors to compliment my Aspies because I can and they can't. Focusing on decluttering is my rough spot. I am easily distracted and bounce from one thing to the next and despite my desire to stay locked in my mind wanders. (I am not ADD despite the way that just sounded) I am more successful when no one is home. Even if those who are here are quiet and out of my way it doesn't help. In a couple of weeks my boyfriend is going out of town for a few days to a wedding we couldn't all afford to go to. I am going to take a personal day from work and still send the baby to the sitter. I will have a whole day to focus on decluttering and I know I will get it done. That is my ideal setting. The area I need suggestions for is how to maintain it. I don't think I should have to clean up after everyone and I often make as much of the clutter as they do. Has anyone been here and have a solution that worked for them. A chart, a method, anything at all!! They really need there to be no clutter because they can't function in it... and although you may not understand when I tell you... just because I want to make this happen for them I have a really hard time locking in and staying focused I function in random. I need a strategy to both focus and get the whole family working on it so all of the work does not fall to me. I don't think that is unfair.
21 Oct 2012, 9:44 pm
