Do Aspie's commit suicide ? Undiagnosed Aspie needs help

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Lovelylorraine
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22 Oct 2012, 8:07 am

Hello.

I have a friend who I care very deeply about. At first our relationship confused me... he seemed to like me and would do things for me without even asking but he seemed to have trouble understanding what I was saying , would constantly interrupt me and just talk at me.

He has had a lot of problems in his life and I thought it was because of lack of communication.

He believes he is eccentric, after doing some research on the internet I believe he has aspergers In fact I am sure of it although he is undiagnosed.

He talks at me, giving me lots of information... If I try and add a comment or thought he will start from the beginning and in many cases repeat himself many times.
He gives me a cuddle with his arms around me in a vice grip,
He is expressionless
Doesn't seem to have any empathy at all
He was bullied at school, he says it was because he was fat and has real issues with food, doesn't seem to eat for days.
He is very difficult about getting clothes, nothing ever feels right.
I can't seem to have a "normal" conversation with him he feels I am disagreeing with him even when I am agreeing with him.

He has recently spent some time in prison for fraud although I believe that he is innocent and I believe his undiagnosed asperger syndrome hindered his case. He is desperately trying to clear his name so that he can continue working (he is a divorce lawyer), in fact he is consumed by it.

His partner has kicked him off his farm, his relationship with his sons is strained, his friends are thin on the ground and he is very down.

I have surrendered to the fact that will be just friends but I believe that he does love me but a relationship is not what he needs at the moment with everything else going on, or maybe ever.

He is appealing his case in front of the High Court on Wednesday, but my concern is that how he will take if if it doesn't go his way. He has said that his world will fall apart and I worry that he will be so low that he will not know how to come out of it..


We have quarrelled recently over nothing important and I have tried to continue with the friendship (before I realised he was Aspie), he blames himself and now is not answering my emails or texts.

He says he doesn't want me there for the appeal.

How can I help him?

Should I say that I think he could have aspergers at some point, not now obviously? How can I suggest it so that he doesn't get upset? If he is diagnosed will it help him any any way?

I want to be there for him no matter what happens at the appeal..

These are just my thoughts and I could be completely wrong....

I am not sure what to do..... Any advice?



antifeministfrills
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22 Oct 2012, 10:08 am

Of course people with Aspergers commit suicide. In fact, there's an increased risk of suicide compared to NTs.



Lovelylorraine
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22 Oct 2012, 10:13 am

I am thinking of going to his apartment after the appeal to give support, I am hoping that all goes well but just want to be there when he returns home so that he is not on his own... I am not sure how he will react...

Any thoughts or advice



redrobin62
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22 Oct 2012, 11:25 am

He might benefit from knowing if he has Asperger's Syndrome. I sought out a diagnosis to help explain my quirky odd behaviours and it helps to know now what I am. With that diagnosis, I felt free to reach out to forums like these for help and advice. I also joined an Asperger's meetup group. I've never been to a meeting because I'm too avoidant, but I might someday. Anyway, it's better to know than not know. I don't think it stops me from feeling suicidal, but the thought that I belong somewhere eases my mind.



Natalya
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22 Oct 2012, 11:46 am

I benefitted from a diagnosis. It's like finally knowing where you fit.
Autistic people have an increased risk of suicide. It's like this:
-Autistic people are far more likely to have issues with anxiety and depression.
-People with dpression are more likely to commit suicide.
Therefore, yes, autistic people are more likely to be suicidal. Referral? GP? Clinical pyschologist? Councellor? He needs to talk to someone, I think.


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GGPViper
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22 Oct 2012, 11:58 am

Lovelylorraine wrote:
I am thinking of going to his apartment after the appeal to give support, I am hoping that all goes well but just want to be there when he returns home so that he is not on his own... I am not sure how he will react...

Any thoughts or advice

If he is anything like me, I would probably advice against showing up at his apartment *unannounced*. This could be seen as a major invasion of his privacy...



Lovelylorraine
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22 Oct 2012, 12:15 pm

Thanks for the advice..

I live about 2 hours away.... but I will drive up and text him to let him know I am close by if he needs me.

He has helped me recently by cutting back a hedge (well actually he went into the neighbours garden and cut down half his trees, which is why he had the argument) He felt I didn't appreciate all his hard work, although I had texted and called to say thank you after he disappeared without saying he was going.

I have painted him a picture of Aspen Trees in the autumn,, my way of showing him I care about him. which I will leave by his apartment. Not sure what he will make of it..

I am very worried about him and want to make sure he is OK if it goes against him..... What else can I do?

A friend at a loss..



League_Girl
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22 Oct 2012, 1:31 pm

Anyone can commit suicide. NTs, aspies, auties, Bipolars, schizophrenics, people with personality disorders, etc. Not everyone with it commits suicide of course.


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