Ive been doing some thinking...

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Im 20 years old, never been in a relationship, not in school, and working at a warehouse. What the point in life when your Autistic? All im doing is existing. No purpose.

That sounds like depression.

What do you want out of life?

I know im not depressed.
But like I said im just existing.
I want to do something great with my life so people will acknowledge me. I just dont know what.

I turn 30 next year and I've never had a relationship, so you're not alone on that.

What do you do well? Do you have any special interests? Is there any way you could turn one of them into a job?

I spent 15 years not knowing I was depressed.

Why does it need to be something great? There are many ways to contribute without having one's name in lights. I am positive that my cat thinks I've achieved something since I've kept him from starving or being abused - a neighbor did starve and abuse him before dumping him on us, and he's healthy and much happier now.

Last edited by Verdandi on 22 Oct 2012, 1:08 am, edited 1 time in total.

I like expressing myself through either movies or photography.

In high school I was the weird kid. I was king of the nerds but I always tried to hangout with the popular kids.

Also forgot:

One of the features of depression is anhedonia, an inability to feel pleasure. When I find it impossible to enjoy doing anything, I know depression's becoming a thing.

If you don't mind me asking, what tipped you off into realizing you suffered from depression?

20yo is still a good time to work out what you want to do with your life In fact, it's a great time!

And you already know a couple of your interests which is a huge start...

So you want to work our your purpose in life?

If you can work that out, you'll be ahead of many people in the World, including NTs. The fact that you want to do so is a huge start!

You could try this exercise to try to identify your passions in life:

1. Divide a piece of paper into four quadrants with pen or pencil. Label the four areas Delighted, Ecstatic, Sad, and Angry.

2. Consider each quadrant on the page. Ask yourself the following questions and make note of specific situations and experiences where your emotions were so heightened that you can still recall them.

- Delighted: When were you delighted, experiencing a gentle sense of joy and feeling blessed with life? Consider times when you noticed kindness and gratitude that stopped you in your tracks.

- Angry: When have you been angry or disgusted? COnsider times when you were ready to fight for your rights or a cause dear to your heart.

- Sad: When have you been sad, disappointed and low? What moves you to gloom and that sense of wanting to give up and hide under the duvet away from the World?

- Ecstatic: When have you been ecstatic, experiencing the peak of exuberance and well-being? Wshat really brings you alive and make you jump up and down with excitement and sing from the rooftops?

3. Review everything you wrote on your page. Which experiencces and episodes do you consider the best of times? The worst of times? Which moments really stand out as really firing up your passions

4. Look for themes in your experiences. For example, notice what you do when you stand up for what you care about, which in turn makes a difference for others. What happens when you get emotional? What impact does it have on your behaviour and that of those around you?

5. Consider a sense of who you are during your most passionate and satisfying moments. If you were to identify yourself with a role or animal, what would it be? Are you naturally a hunter/tiger, a nest builder/squirrel?

I used to feel the same way. I felt I was going nowhere with my life because I didn't like where I lived, I had no children nor a relationship, the job I had was low pay job. I knew I wouldn't be able to get a degree and have a career. I just hope I wouldn't live single for the rest of my life. I knew I was depressed then but only because I was told I have it. But yet I still worked and did stuff and kept my home clean so I wonder now was I really depressed? I used to think other people were just being lazy and using it as an excuse to not do anything or not go to work and being selfish. If I acted none of the above, I question my own depression.

You must be interested in something. Everyone is creative whether it’s cooking or painting. You are still young and have plenty of time to find yourself.

Today I have terrible anxiety and also suffer with depression. Life can be tough and boring sometimes, but I still see it as my greatest experience, make the most of it.