"Feral Child Syndrome" and the Aspergers/Autism &q

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vits3k
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13 Mar 2005, 3:13 pm

I've recently begun to wonder whether some of the current "epidemic" of Aspergers & Autism can be attributed not just to improved diagnosis and awareness, but to increased numbers of children suffering neglect due to family breakup, trauma due to a succession of new partners for whatever parent they're living with, and similar effects.

In the UK, the rate of adult violence against children is about 4x higher for such "partners" than for actual parents of children, and one would expect there to be a higher rate of psychological trauma as well.

What happens to a child who is already borderline Asperger or Autistic, and then goes through the trauma of his/her parents splitting up, the higher likelihood of being left alone and to his own devices, the lessened opportunities for social training (preferably by non-dysfunctional, non-traumatized adults) to see non-dysfunctional human relationships and interactions, etc etc etc?

I am now into my 40s. I have displayed strong AS characteristics throughout my life, but as I've gotten older and had some good relationships (and kids) I've found that a) I actually have some excellent empathic abilities, and 2) my AS-ness has become rather improved.

My parents divorced when I was three, and my custodial parent didn't seem to care whether I lived or died, as long as I was fed, went to school and didn't annoy him. My mother was rather warmer, but while intelligent was a bit of a ditz in some ways (though she did teach me to read well), and not terribly socially competent herself.

I come from a very large extended family, and I can't help noticing that the ONLY people in my rather large group of extended first cousins who have significant AS-like issues are precisely that small minority whose parents divorced. And all of us seem to have gotten better, once we located caring partners who themselves had come from a "traditional" family background we could plug into.

"Feral Child Syndrome", anyone? Either as a standalone condition, or as a set of conditions exacerbating existing AS/Autistic tendencies... or both?

These days it is fashionable to claim that single-parent households, alternative non-parental "partners", blended families etc are "just as good as" traditional families. I am beginning to think more and more that this notion is bunkum, and highly damaging bunkum at that.

Some families of this type succeed thanks to heroic efforts on the part of the parents, usually the step-parent. But as for it being an acceptable basic model for society, I think I must disagree.



Jetson
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13 Mar 2005, 3:27 pm

vits3k wrote:
I've recently begun to wonder whether some of the current "epidemic" of Aspergers & Autism can be attributed not just to improved diagnosis and awareness, but to increased numbers of children suffering neglect due to family breakup, trauma due to a succession of new partners for whatever parent they're living with, and similar effects.

I just had this conversation with my mother. My AS traits went undetected when I was young because in the space of less than a year I had been a victim of sexual abuse (by a stranger, no less) and then my parents split up and my mother was suicidal and I started having problems at school. By the time the smoke had cleared I had already learned to compensate on my own by putting up a false front and "acting" whenever social interaction was required. Just when I needed them the most, my parents were too self-absorbed to be there for me.


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Jetson
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13 Mar 2005, 4:04 pm

I should clarify one point: I don't think a lack of parental attention *causes* AS. It simply enables people to live undiagnosed. I should be glad I was spared the "cures" suggested by the ABA.

I also don't think that single-parent or non-traditional families have anything to do with it. It's all about whether or not the parents you have are paying attention to you. A single mother on social assistance or two fathers might be better at taking care of the kids than some two-parent families where both parents work...

When I started discussing my problems with my mother one of the things she mentioned was that I was exposed to a lot of lead when I was very young because when I was teething I would chew on anything made of wood and swallowed a lot of old paint. This would dove-tail with those who think autism and AS are caused by mercury in vaccinations, but again wouldn't explain the increase in detection following the abolishing of leaded paint and leaded gasoline.


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vits3k
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13 Mar 2005, 5:07 pm

Jetson wrote:
I should clarify one point: I don't think a lack of parental attention *causes* AS. It simply enables people to live undiagnosed. I should be glad I was spared the "cures" suggested by the ABA.


I agree. I am thinking of such neglect only as something that can make the effects of AS more disruptive to someone's life than they already are.

Jetson wrote:
It's all about whether or not the parents you have are paying attention to you. A single mother on social assistance or two fathers might be better at taking care of the kids than some two-parent families where both parents work...


As I said, I don't deny that it's possible to bring kids up OK in a non-traditional family structure. What I'm suggesting is that the chances of that happening seem to be rather less than in the traditional structure.

Sorry to hear about the abuse... and the lack of parental presence when you needed it.

Speaking of self-absorbed parents...

I am currently worried a bit about my younger son. I made a point of spending lots of time with both our sons (to avoid them experiencing what I did), and was close with both of them. When my wife left (after 10 years), she moved 1/2 way across the world with both of them, in defiance of a written agreement (and partly, she openly admitted, out of jealousy that I was close with them, whereas she couldn't be bothered.)

I have just learned that she's taken the little one on a visit, all weekend, to the home of her former boyfriend, whom she broke up with after he hit her (more than once.) The little one knows about this, and does not approve. The big one refuses to let the boyfriend into their home, and feels like beating him up.

I can only wonder whether the little one is feeling a bit isolated and unprotected at the moment.

I may be looking into some legal remedies... I don't want bad things happening to my little one for the sake of humoring the self-absorbed, overgrown spoiled little girl that is his mother.

Disclaimer: I held my views on "Feral Child Syndrome" long before this particular little drama came to light.