Nasty (NT) behaviour
So I talked with a girl about a guy we both have met.
We were talking about a party we had all three been at - we all slept at the same place nearby after the party.
In the morning I had not been allowed to sleep very much (at all actually) because everyone who said they were going to sleep just kept on partying at the place nearby where people were supposed to be able to sleep.
Then I finally got to sleep, but soon after this guy wakes me up to say goodbye. Well fair enough.
So I told the girl (who knows the guy well) this and she said: "Well, he probably did want to say goodbye, but it's more likely he did it just to wake you up!"...."Why?" I replied..."Because it's funny. I'd done the same thing at least!"...
I JUST DON'T GET IT! WHY IS IT FUNNY TO MAKE ANOTHER HUMAN'S LIFE MORE MISERABLE?
Is this an NT thing? Or just a nasty-people thing?
Last edited by qawer on 18 May 2013, 7:49 am, edited 1 time in total.
Please don't blame the ~evil~ NT's for your problems. There are aspies and autists who can be as*holes too.
Some of my best friends are NT's and are pretty nice guys. Some are more like myself, while I can be an as*hole at times as well. Life ain't black and white like you think it is.
Some of my best friends are NT's and are pretty nice guys. Some are more like myself, while I can be an as*hole at times as well. Life ain't black and white like you think it is.
Thanks. So this is a nasty-people thing.
I wonder why there are so many people like this! Taking pleasure in other people's misfortune, which they themselves have been the cause of.
It seems like the girl was projecting onto the guy's behavior. No one but him knows why he woke you up. Maybe he was being considerate and wanting to let you know he was leaving, so you didn't wake up and look for him needlessly or wonder where he went.
I don't know why the girl said that; it's a strange thing to say and to do. I haven't done that (wake someone up just for kicks) and I haven't heard of anyone else doing it.
Even among NTs there is a lot of difference and disparity - a spectrum if you will.
So there's no proof the guy was being "nasty" I don't think. Just that the girl had an odd interpretation of his behavior.
It's more because the girl had known him from back when they were both just kids. So it surely wasn't that much of a guess. She knows him and what he is like, all way through.
They are both extremely social people, no doubt about that.
I just cannot see why they think it's funny. Perhaps I just don't get this "friend-game" of competing and dragging each other down in (mean) ways.
But I don't get why kids mock and bully each other at school, either. Why not just minding their own business.
Being "more social" is much about agreeing with your "group" on enjoying someone else's misfortune. I won't do it. People sometimes attack me for this. I'll attack right back, it's not because I'm too stupid to not know how to do it. It's just a matter of finding weak points in the other person's character. I just don't want to. But I have to when people start attacking me.
Last edited by qawer on 18 May 2013, 7:44 am, edited 1 time in total.
Perhaps she was just trying to stick up for her friend becouse in her mind that was the right thing to do and in her best intrest, I have seen NTs make some pretty strange(to me anyway) comments in someones defence all for their social best intrest. Usually they do a slightly better job at it though. Was this comment in line with her usual beheaviour? perhaps that is were the anwser lies.
My experence wakeing people up when it is needed is they tend to get angry, maybe these people like to view angry people or have an intrest in stupid practical jokes.
You are right, it could just be a kind of defence. The sad thing is she sounded like she really meant she would have done it too. I could hear she thought it was funny.
Well, I guess I just need to talk to someone else. It's just not the first time I experience this.
I've never understood why people think those "home-videos" where people really get hurt and injured are funny. One thing is laughing out of fear that the same thing might happen to you. That's all natural and okay...but people seem to enjoy other people's misfortune. At least they have to when they themselves hurt others. It's strange.
neilson_wheels
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We were talking about a party we had all three been at - we all slept at the same place nearby after the party.
In the morning I had not been allowed to sleep very much (at all actually) because everyone who said they were going to sleep just kept on partying at the place nearby where people were supposed to be able to sleep.
Then I finally got to sleep, but soon after this guy wakes me up to say goodbye. Well fair enough.
So I told the girl (who knows the guy well) this and she said: "Well, he probably did want to say goodbye, but it's more likely he did it just to wake you up!"...."Why?" I replied..."Because it's funny. I'd done the same thing at least!"...
I JUST DON'T GET IT! WHY IS IT FUNNY TO MAKE ANOTHER HUMAN'S LIFE MORE MISERABLE?
Is this an NT thing? Or just a nasty-people thing?
What I don't get is why anyone would be hanging around with people who think this kind of thing is funny in the first place
- that is more of a puzzle to me
It's not a matter of their neurology it's 'the kind of people they are' and if they are like that, why are you mixing with them?
Your desire for friends is evidently more important to you than quality control on the type of people you mix with
Most people are like this from my observations
_________________
'Sentimentality is a superstructure covering brutality' C.G Jung
What I don't get is why anyone would be hanging around with people who think this kind of thing is funny in the first place
- that is more of a puzzle to me
It's not a matter of their neurology it's 'the kind of people they are' and if they are like that, why are you mixing with them?
Your desire for friends is evidently more important to you than quality control on the type of people you mix with
Most people are like this from my observations
I've come to the conclusion that the more I avoid people like this, the more I inhibit my own life - and this to a large degree. I almost cannot attend any party or arrangement if I were to avoid this completely. Likely not have a job either. Then AS really would ruin my life, and I would let the people I don't care for affect my life negatively.
At the same time, I was asking this because someone might relate to why she thought it's funny, when it really isn't.
What I don't get is why anyone would be hanging around with people who think this kind of thing is funny in the first place
- that is more of a puzzle to me
It's not a matter of their neurology it's 'the kind of people they are' and if they are like that, why are you mixing with them?
Your desire for friends is evidently more important to you than quality control on the type of people you mix with
Most people are like this from my observations
I've come to the conclusion that the more I avoid people like this, the more I inhibit my own life - and this to a large degree. I almost cannot attend any party or arrangement if I were to avoid this completely. Likely not have a job either.
At the same time, I was asking this because someone might relate to why she thought it's funny.
A lot of people find amusement in annoying or upsetting others. Winding each other up seems to be normal interaction for a lot of people in groups. People do it on here so it's not the preserve of just NTs. There's even a thread 'Insult the person above you'. What does that tell you?
_________________
'Sentimentality is a superstructure covering brutality' C.G Jung
First that it's neither an NT nor an AS thing.
I just don't get why people actively seek out this kind of social interaction. How can they possibly enjoy being attacked themselves and attacking others constantly. Perhaps it's because they like others for being good at attacking, indicating something about social status. When you are with such people you have to constantly look out for their next attack and look for an opening for your next attack.
neilson_wheels
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Joined: 11 Mar 2013
Age: 55
Gender: Male
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Location: London, Capital of the Un-United Kingdom
We were talking about a party we had all three been at - we all slept at the same place nearby after the party.
In the morning I had not been allowed to sleep very much (at all actually) because everyone who said they were going to sleep just kept on partying at the place nearby where people were supposed to be able to sleep.
Then I finally got to sleep, but soon after this guy wakes me up to say goodbye. Well fair enough.
So I told the girl (who knows the guy well) this and she said: "Well, he probably did want to say goodbye, but it's more likely he did it just to wake you up!"...."Why?" I replied..."Because it's funny. I'd done the same thing at least!"...
I JUST DON'T GET IT! WHY IS IT FUNNY TO MAKE ANOTHER HUMAN'S LIFE MORE MISERABLE?
Is this an NT thing? Or just a nasty-people thing?
What I don't get is why anyone would be hanging around with people who think this kind of thing is funny in the first place
- that is more of a puzzle to me
It's not a matter of their neurology it's 'the kind of people they are' and if they are like that, why are you mixing with them?
Your desire for friends is evidently more important to you than quality control on the type of people you mix with
Most people are like this from my observations
I'm not so sure its a good idea to dump friends over one or two bad/hurtful/disrespectful comments if its a limited thing, nobodys perfect and as someone who has pretty noticeable social issues myself I sure hope my friends will give me a little slack and see the real person I am when I make those kinds of errors. We are all different people and aslong as your friends respect you and your likes/dislikes or are willing to learn and grow with you why care about things like what kinds of jokes they like. If you dislike being around someone they are a bad friend or rather not one at all however friends don't usually come taylor made just for you as a rule.