Anxious about my first therapy session

Post Reply New Topic

I couldn't handle my obsession about whether or not I fall in the ASQ any longer. It went so much as to hinder my work and atleast a week behind my schedule. I have been reading all journal publications and articles I can catch hold of about Autism Spectrum but I get nowhere beyond a point when comparing it to myself. SO i called several therapists and finally got one who speaks English (I live in a non Anglophone country and I am better at expressing myself at English). I have been ruminating about what could possibly go wrong. I have written down what I would say on the first session (and it is 6 sides long and I am still not done thinking.I keep adding more as and when I get stuff) lest I go off on tangents with her and do not cover the important points.
But still some advice and "what to expect" would be greatly appreciated.
Some of my concerns are as follows:
1. What if she thinks I am just seeking attention and actually my neurosis is all self inflicted. I mean I could have better control and stuff and there are people who need more help and she'd rather spend time with them.(this thought is horribly articulated but hope you get it.."I can cope but I am not making an effort" kind)
2. What if after therapy I change too much that I am not able to identify with myself (ok this is really stupid.but i like a lot of stuff about me.. ex. the ability to enjoy my solitude, the way I talk to myself and sometimes think verbally)
3. What if I act totally "normal" like I usually do when I meet strangers and I do not feel like telling her anything on the day of therapy
4.What if on the day of the session all my problems miraculously seem trivial and I actually berate myself for choosing to go to a therapist in the first place.
5.I actually do not have so much time. So it would be great if someone who has been through the process can tell approx how many hours per week I have to spend on this. So I can mentally prepare myself and reschedule so that I am not too overwhelmed that I miss something important.
Thanks a lot in advance!

P.S the session is sometime next week and my head started buzzing as soon as I got the appointment.
_________________

Well, the first session they usually don't push too hard; they just try to get to know you, get a baseline on what you need to learn. Most people who are going to therapy for the first time are nervous, so they're used to that. Why not simply tell them what you put in that first post--why you're nervous, what you're worried about? It is easier to deal with those things if they're out in the open.

Be specific about the problems you have that you want to solve.

As for your problems being legitimate: They're at least legitimate enough to lead you to ask for help. Considering the stigma related to needing psychological help, that's probably a good indication that those problems are real and you could use some help with them. That doesn't mean they're severe--maybe you just need a few sessions to think about things, try solutions, work out a plan. That's okay, just like it's okay to go see a doctor for a sprained ankle or the chicken pox. Milder problems are legitimate reasons to get medical treatment, especially since they might become more severe if they're not monitored.