Do you love your relatives?

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Because I don't really.

Many NT's seem to think it's normal to unconditionally love your relatives, even if they're as*holes. I don't have that natural affection. I dislike my mother, who doesn't understand me and doesn't try to, and generally doesn't give a s**t about my Aspergers (meaning that she is very inconsiderate of my condition and often tells me to "pull myself together" when I have an overload). Also I have some bad childhood memories about her remarks often bordering on the line to verbal and mental abuse, and sometimes they might have crossed it.

My father died years ago. He was a much nicer, more tolerant man, and I liked him, but I can't say I loved him as a father. In many regards he was "simpler" than me, often wrong, and I never felt "fatherly respect" for him. I felt sad when he died, but as horribly as that sounds, I barely miss him. I can't even remember his voice.

I don't have siblings, just 4 female cousins who don't care about me, and I don't care about them either since we are way too different. I have two aunts which sometimes treat me as some kind of exotic animal. Only my uncle seems to be a little like me, he's kind of socially awkward, but I don't think it's Aspergers. Can't say I really care about him though.

Do you have a close bond to your family, or do you feel similar?

For me, family are people to love or not on their own merits. DNA similarity doesn't give them a free pass. This means I'm not really on great terms with most of my family, but that's fine with me. It's awkward being around them anyway.

Um, yes, I don't see why I wouldn't love my relatives. They have always been there for me, and I know I'm so jealous of all my cousins for being more ''normal'' than me, I still love them.

That is the same for me with some family members. I have some that I don't see often so I'm uncomfortable around them and there are family members that I wouldn't care much if they died, but I also have some family members that I do love.

I despise all my family and relatives - because they all dumped me, seeing as someone weird is not an asset in the family.

I think some of you miss the point of family / relatives, though, being too young to remember what it was like back when the family was the basic society unit. Although things were always difficult in relationships among people, many in a family tried to be considerate of the others and were given consideration back. There was a loyalty where, independently from your personality, you were important because you formed part of that loyalty group. Difference among members was an opportunity for enrichment more than a source of frustration. There was not a question of "like" but of "kindred", a connection not based on personality and common interests but on other things, mainly sticking for each other. All this was before the "me-me generation" of the last century and as I said before, far from perfect. But people didn't have virtual (phone, internet) contact with others, and they didn't move around the globe normally, so those around them were at the very core of their existence: family, childhood friends, spouse - those were the lifelong ties a human had. It had advantages and disadvantages, just like the current era does. One of the advantages was that, if you were "different" or "difficult", you still belonged, because you were family. If you don't see any value in all this, maybe it's because I'm failing to explain it correctly.

I don't know if I do or don't. I cannot comprehend the emotion of love, so I really cannot honestly say I love someone when I don't even know what love is. I appreciate the ones who didn't prejudice me, but those are few and far between.

Mine are okay, I guess. I don't live near them, though. They're all on the east coast. I'm the only one in the west. We barely speak to each other (like, once every 10 years or so), and I have nephews and nieces I've never met.

I love my relatives as much as I love my friends and family. I'm full of love and I like to share it with everybody in my life.

Have to admit there's kind of a distance between me and most of my closest relatives nowadays. My mother and I are very close, but with pretty much everyone else (aunts, cousins), it's not that tight. It used to be much closer and more comfortable when I was a child.

I don't know about loving them but i do feel a certain amount of loyalty to my own. It's too easy to cut and run in life, i believe in taking what you have and making the most of it. I wouldn't say theres an emotional connection there with any of them and if i was feeling down i'd have no one to call, just i know they'd be there for me in any other circumstances. If i got kicked out, if i needed money, if i needed food, if i was in some trouble or another, i know that somehow they would get it together and help me. And i'd do the same back. You just have to be thankful for what you do have rather than being bitter about the things you don't have.

Shhkids, I couldn't agree more. However, we must also understand that many, many people don't believe in family anymore because their families don't believe in investing in family anymore, so they get nothing but trouble from family. It's the institution of family that has lost its function and been replaced by modern life, no one is to blame for not feeling that "loyalty" anymore...

As you point out and give examples of, however, some advantages of family can't be replaced. Eg: family members used to do favors to each other without counting, just based on the needs of each other. When my sister got rid of me because as an autistic there was no prestige in having me as a relation in her life, she immediately (not even 5 minutes had passed) noticed, with dismay, that she'd lost that unconditional "getting a hand" from someone. Friends could never replace that kind of loyalty and favors done freely and flowing with naturality, which is (or rather used to be) only a trait of families.

I love my parents and my two siblings. I think I love my relatives too, though I find some of them utterly annoying. I'm not really close to all of them.

This, I think we grow close to those we are near to, especially as children. When we get older it is possible to grow apart. I believe this is the same for AS and NT alike.

Outside of my immediate family, I can't say I hate them but I am completely indifferent to them. I had an uncle who suffered an agonizing death two years ago and have to admit I literally felt nothing. None of my relatives were abusive but as a kid they were clearly just going through the motions. I have no contact with any of them and that's probably for the best.

I should mention I had an online girl flake on me suddenly after some great dialogue that I thought was heading somewhere. I now realize it was probably because I answered her question honestly: I'm no longer have contact with any relatives outside of my grandparents. I'm not angry or bitter about it, I just realize its best for everyone involved to just stay away. No doubt her girlfriends or mother told her I was a weird or creep because of this.

I guess I'm supposed go out of my way to be nice to those who have no feelings for me or there is something wrong with me? It's not like I'm happy about my situation but it is what it is and I'm not going to lie about it.

NO, I do not have a close relationship with my family. Glad to know I'm not the only one!

I love my parents even if they haven't always been perfect (no parent is) and they're all I really have. But I can't understand how other people can still love someone who has been acted unloving to them, abusing them or just being plain nasty. I can't figure out why a woman would stay with a husband who beats her into a bloody mess and treats her worse than an animal would stay with him other than the fact that she's terrified of being alone and would rather be with someone and miserable, and when she says she loves him it really turns my stomach. I don't get why people should love and forgive their parents who've nearly literally killed them just because "they brought you into this world".