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LastSanityJermaine
Raven
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03 Feb 2014, 5:07 am

I never realized this but someone pointed out that I speak very softly and quietly. My mom states when I answer questions I do it in a belligerent manner. Some kids at school said I was mean because of the way I answered questions.
At my Autism group their is one girl who is very loud but isn't aware of it, but some people would just racially stereotype her (black) another girl is the complete opposite, she just sits around smiling, even though I don't know her very well I suspect she had speech delay/verbal communication issues when she was younger.

Do you get comments on your voice often.



GivePeaceAChance
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03 Feb 2014, 5:27 am

yes, I woll go either way, sometimes too quiet and at times way too loud, I can't seem to get it right in any situation.


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VincentRabbit
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03 Feb 2014, 5:29 am

I used to get a lot of comments on it when I was younger, especially from my dad and his wife complaining that I always talked too quietly. Teachers would also tell me to speak up. When I asked my bf about it he said I just had a soft voice but not unclear in any way, (althought with him I'm very comfortfable). I've met some more aspies who've had pretty loud voices, or perhaps not loud but just very clear.

Recently a new teacher of mine told me to at least try to speak up and I kind of snapped and went completely mute instead because just saying one word in an environment I'm not feeling completely safe in drains me of so much energy.

I've read somewhere (I think it was in 'The complete guide to Aspergers syndrom' by Tony Atwood) that apparently it's quite common amongst aspies to have a 'special' tone of voice or one with few variations (monotone).



EzraS
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03 Feb 2014, 5:36 am

Unawareness of tone and volume of voice is a common thing. Someone with AS can be inappropriately loud. Or they can have a rude sounding tone of voice. Tone of voice is a hard thing for me to get. Grownups try tone of voice on me and it doesnt always register that they are upset with me about something. There are times when I sound angry or whatever when im not. I think maybe sometimes we can sound belligerent when our very active thought process is interrupted by someone asking someting. Although im mostly nonverbal (selective mutism). if i was in your group id be one of those who didnt talk and just smiled at ppl.



a_dork
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03 Feb 2014, 5:43 am

I've received a good number of comments on my voice. The general consensus is that I speak too softly. Even the cashiers at supermarkets frequently ask me to repeat what I say. I have social anxiety as well though, so that's probably the mainly reason why I'm so quiet. However, if you bring up a topic I'm knowledgeable about, my voice gets considerably louder (years of being told to keep it down at restaurants and on the bus). The most interesting comment I've ever received about my voice was from a classmate listening to me practice a speech. He said that it tended to fluctuate-in other words, it kept going up and down in pitch. I don't know whether that's due to my AS or anxiety, but I became much more aware of how I sounded to others.


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bumble
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03 Feb 2014, 5:48 am

Too loud, too fast, people think I am shouting when I am not. This can make people think I am angry when I am not. Or that I am more emotional than I actually or may lead to them interpreting my emotions incorrectly. Ie when I am upset and stressed i lose control of the volume of my voice, the same applies when I am excited. I think it makes me come across as a crazy angry person when actually I just got stressed out or over excited about something.

At other times when calm i have learned to control the volume and keep it down.



mr_bigmouth_502
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03 Feb 2014, 5:53 am

I've noticed that I have quite a hard time controlling the volume and tone of my voice. Normally I speak really quietly, since to my ears that sounds "normal", and I assume that that's how it sounds to other people. When they have trouble hearing me though, or I'm trying to get some point across and they're not listening, or I have earphones on that block out surrounding noise, then I tend to talk really LOUDLY, in an attempt to compensate. To this day, I still haven't found a decent volume to have my voice at for most situations, that doesn't seem too quiet nor too loud.

This is one of the many reasons why I prefer text-based communication to verbal communication. As long as I can read what the other person's saying, and they can read what I am saying, then it works just fine. Of course, I do tend to become annoyed by improper spelling and punctuation, and sometimes people type things in such a way that I can't even decipher what they are trying to say, but most of those people aren't even worth bothering with anyhow.



Soccer22
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03 Feb 2014, 8:29 am

I talk too loud. But id rather talk too loud than too soft. My sister talks SO quiet and also mumbles and EVERYONE always has to have her repeat herself so many times that she usually just says "nevermind" with annoyance. But seriously, just talk louder! Makes me angry just thinking about it right now.



Solitudinarian
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03 Feb 2014, 8:47 am

When I'm nervous or anxious, I talk too quietly. People always ask me to speak up. But I remember when I talked about my passions and interests back in the day, people often asked me if I had to shout like that. So apparently, special interests = way too loud, all other conversation = barely audible mumbling.



droppy
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03 Feb 2014, 9:01 am

As a child people always commented that my tone was too high.
Now I developed a sort of coping mechanism and I talk very quietly not to speak with a too high tone. But when I do people can't hear me and ask me to speak up. When I speak up they say I'm screaming. WTF.



Stannis
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03 Feb 2014, 9:45 am

I find it hard to regulate my voice.

The problem is that people interpret the natural depth and volume of my voice as threatening. I make a conscious effort to take some of the bass and volume out, but not too much, as that could indicate submissiveness, and lack of confidence.

I also change my inflection randomly sometimes, just to see how that plays. People don't seem to like that.



Willard
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03 Feb 2014, 1:10 pm

bumble wrote:
Too loud, too fast, people think I am shouting when I am not.


I've had this complaint frequently. Whenever I get intense about what I'm saying, people insist that I'm yelling at them, when I'm not.

Although, I must admit that sometimes when I go off on a Special Interest tangent, as I get more excited about my subject matter, I can start to get louder without realizing it.



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03 Feb 2014, 1:19 pm

Yes, I have trouble modulating my voice. Most of the time it gets too loud without me realizing it as I get excited or frustrated about something I'm talking about and then someone shushes me. When they shush me I try to lower my voice and end up swallowing it, what I say comes out under my breath.



dottsie
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03 Feb 2014, 7:51 pm

I talk quietly and in a monotone voice 99.99% of the time. I don't like trying to speak loudly/normally, it makes me feel awkward, like my voice is going to crack or something.

My friends said that their hearing has improved after being friends with me, lol



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03 Feb 2014, 7:56 pm

I am often told that I speak too softly and too quickly and that I swallow my words. I have also been told that every now and then I have a belligerent tone but that is not often. That usually happens when I am tired or overwhelmed. Most of the time it's more a of a gentle tone though. I can also have a slight monotone like a child sometimes.


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Billw1628
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03 Feb 2014, 8:47 pm

I am the complete opposite. I have a loud voice. I have to work very hard (which is actually very important for me as an OT or life coach) to have a calm and caring voice, too.