Costly mistakes we aspies make till we learn better

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Believe that, since we're blind to ulterior motives, power politics and hidden agendas, we can just ignore the fact that they are there and an important factor in most human interaction situations. Consequently, have outcomes take us totally by surprise and blame them on NTs' "lack of logic".

Assume that anything said in a confidential tone of voice is a confidence, therefore 100% honest and true. In general, assume that emotions reflected in body language / voice are never feigned.

More?

I think that this is a very true point, we do miss out on signals that could alert us to avoid hard or even dangerous situations. Meltdowns can also cause us sot end up in danger.

Last month I had a meltdown so severe I ran out of the house, in 30 degree weather, at night in nothing but pajamas and sandals, screaming. I could have gotten sick, I could have gotten arrested, hit by a car, anything like that.

My anger issues, that's one. That and my communication skills with my parents aren't the best......

I am a hot head... I just get so frustrated and its like I go through a circuit overload

I get angry and/or upset very easily when I lapse in taking my meds, say things loudly that should be said in a confidential tone, have a heck of a lot of trouble controlling my tone of voice and my facial expressions when I'm upset. I get angry on occasions--white hot angry sometimes--but then I get over it and tend to forgive the person(s) or try my best to understand so I can forgive. People don't understand this and think I'm releasing old, bottled-up hostility and that there's a lot of hate in me. Truth is, I can't stand feeling angry or resentful for any period of time because it hurts physically. I'd much rather learn to understand and live in peace with others.

Last edited by Lucywlf on 04 Nov 2012, 11:27 am, edited 1 time in total.

My reactions to situations are of the wrong intensity and if I am having a bad day it looks like I am mad at everyone and everything and people think that I am mad at them but I am not and it has caused a lot of upset and pain in my life and if the other person is on the spectrum it can cause even more problems-the leader of an adult aspie group I go to one said that more people should "say what they mean and mean what they say" and I believe that.

The way I project myself to others makes them believe that I think i am perfect or something. Funny thing is my dad thinks the same way. In this regard, when you make a mistake and are reminded of it, your response is "Shut up."

One good scenario. I did something stupid when drunk one night. I saw people attempting a pushup where they clap their hands behind their back. I thought "Hey, let me try that." I fell face first on the floor when attempting it and busted my chin open. The cut required four stitches at the hospital. I kept getting reminded of that for a while. I occasionally joke about it, and sometimes don't like it when others make jokes about. The funny thing is they got someone else to do it at another party when I was not around, but because they didn't like the guy, they didn't bring him ot the hospital like they did with me.

In addition to the aforementioned naivete and quickness to anger, there is also the dangerous thinking that my (our) exceptional abilities are the end-all-be-all to compensate for social deficiencies.

Also, it may be more in line with blindness to ulterior motives but people won't always give credit where credit is due. I've been screwed over a few times in the past by having someone else get the recognition for my hard work.

In general life, opening one's self to others too much, too soon quickly bores others and exposes weaknesses to sociopaths and other abusers.

These are just from a page in my own book, all of the other pages are too blurry to read at the moment

I think that's why I don't have that many friends. I have a few that are truely uncondtional towards me and like me as I am. They treat me with respect and listen and they are cherished. Some other "Friends" I've made along the way seem to not be able to help themselves.
They will systematically start to "Size me up" and take advantage of my perceived naivety and kindness/honesty. I'll start to notice this and my mistake is to believe it's just a "One-Time" incident. When what I really should have done is cut them off right there to limit the exploitation. I'm getting better at spotting "Frenemies" quicker, and filtering them out.

2wheels4ever, such very wise words!! !

Taking things too far. I never seem to know when to stop.

Putting trust in people
Letting others take advantage of you kind handedness

Basically seeing the world thru rose tinted glasses


Since learning of my AS 3 years ago
This has all changed

I used to have a quick and ready smile
Its still there
But more hidden
And less ready
Which is better
When dealing with NT's

I feel like, to cope with being duped unwittingly often as a kid and having my artistic talents and intelligence basically abused repeatedly in school, I developed an incredibly cynical attitude. I treat absolutely every one I'm not wholly comfortable with as some sort of mischievous troll until I feel I can ascertain their personality and trustworthiness. I don't think it makes me a particularly unkind person in their eyes though, because almost all of my wariness is usually just below the surface.

Very true, and sometimes it's extremely difficult to gauge how much is too much.

Ditto previous poster and quote.

Awesome. Couldn't have said it better, and I've tried.



Nah. Not this one. I've never trusted anyone enough. If anything, I've had to learn to overcome the exact opposite of this. < So there's my "more."

"Assume that anything said in confidence, especially if it's said with all the correct inflections and emotional cues, is a complete farce."