why is the only thing I can see is I am Aspergerian

Post Reply New Topic

I recently got diagnosed (1 year ago) and now it seems like all I can think about. I feel like when I look back on my life it was the biggest problem in my life. It was the reason I was bullied, the reason for my unsolved anger, my hard time getting a date (despite according to my mom no lack of people who I could have won over , if I had noticed), My inability to connect with people (especially my own age), my (pervious) low self esteem,and my feeling of social unworthiness. I know aspergers has it perks and that I still am a great person, but I feel like it is a curse that I can never fully be normal or loved by a social group as much as the non-imparied ones. My family and close friends say I should not let it define me but,i feel as if my arch-enemy (asperger) is living in me and I might never fully be able to defeat it. I just wish that every time I screwed up socially It hurt so much. I feel as though I need to warn the normals but, my parents tell me thats not a bright idea. I need help. Has any one else gone through these motions and resolved them? Thank you.

Hi ! I went through the same thing. It took a few years, but I finally got over it. Because at some point, after all the thinking and feeling crappy and doomed and all that, there comes a time when you realise you just don't care anymore. It's a long process and you can't skip it. You just have to hold on and try your best to enjoy life until that time comes.
Most of the things you're agonizing over today WON'T MATTER a few years from now.
I swear to you, when I read your post, I thought that's EXACTLY how I used to feel. And I'm telling you, please believe me, it goes away. It took ME three years to get there. Of course, you will always have aspergers, but you won't always be this angry about it and self-obssessed. Which makes it so much easier to cope with life and the difficulties you face.
I think in the end, accepting the diagnosis is just like growing up a second time.

(As far as "warning the normals", do what feels right. I think all of us go through a phase in the beginning where you just want to tell everybody. I certainly remember telling a lot of people I hardly knew. Maybe to test their reactions, or not have to try so hard with them. In the end it doesn't matter and it depends on the person and the kind of relationship you have with them. I have close friends with whom I like to discuss the issue from time to time because we talk a lot about our feelings together. But I have another friend, whom I like just as much but we never talk about serious or personal stuff so the subject never came up and I don't feel the need to tell him. Although, I wouldn't care if he knew.)

Anyway, I hope that helps, and I hope I didn't repeat myself too much. I do that sometimes.
sorry if my english isn't perfect.

PS : One thing that helped me. Stop trying to be normal. You can't be normal, it's exhausting to even try. It's better to focus your energy on something possible. So instead, try combining being yourself as much as possible while having a life as normal as possible. I don't know if that makes sense...