Have you met anyone who was NT but lack social sense?

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I know this might sound like a weird question, but bear with me here. I mean, when you think of the usual ASD/HFA person who comes off as somewhat robotic or forced or what have you, and they lack social sense that's one thing - but if someone's more boisterous and exuberant and lacks social sense, you tend to think of them as more NT (and I've tried the boisterous and exuberant thing at age 21, it didn't work so well ).

By that token, it IS possible to conceive of NTs who lack social graces. The closest example I can think of in popular culture is Steven Stifler, he of the American Pie movies series. The character completely lacked social graces, and seemed to be oblivious to social sensitivities or norms in whatever he did. He wasn't a sociopath or a sadist or anything of the sort, but he was just downright juvenile, with a lower emotional IQ and age. Yet the funny thing is, we don't label such people as being "socially inept" - must be a Western cultural bias or something. Leave you to ponder that one

I had a friend in high school who was in the same set of academically-gifted social outsiders as I was and he definitely almost totally lacked social sense. He wasn't autistic - he was very boisterous and verbal and hyperactive and joked a lot - to the point where it was very hard to connect with him in serious conversation. He got picked on and bullied (like I did - I'm autistic) - some guys even ran his pants up the flag pole one time. He was quite intelligent when he could focus. I lost track of him after high school, but I was told he died young. He didn't have an "off button". He would almost constantly joke, often in a personally derisive way, which sadly drove a lot of people away. I don't know if he was just badly abused or if he had neurological issues, although I suspect the latter (in part because his constant hyperactivity/mania and hyperhydrosis of his palms). I'm not familiar with Steven Stifler to make a comparison. I still have regrets in that because I'm autistic I wasn't able to react constructively to his derisive joking and be very friendly, although we had some good philosophical and political discussions back then. He was as socially impaired as I was despite not being autistic.

Yes. At least one that wasn't on the *autistic* spectrum, i just got the feeling that something was wrong with the person.

Yes. Plenty in fact. Too bad I can't recall their names anymore. Most of my encounters were during my school days before I burned out.

Not only the obnoxious and boisterous type -- there's the reclusive and clueless types as well. Most of them are out of circumstance or upbringing.

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I don't see people as NT vs ND, and I think there's a massive degree of variation from person to person. A NT with some degree of mental difficulty will have other issues.

Plenty of socially awkward people did not tell me that they were autistic

They could be undiagnosed

Or they did not disclose (to me)

A few people during my high school years exhibited traits associated with people on the spectrum, but the majority of such classmates kept quiet or just didn't know.

You can't just assume everyone that did not tell you that they are autistic is neurotypical


Because precious lil "people" assumed that I was neurotypical because I did not disclose


And when I did disclose, they had the nerve to tell me that "you don't look autistic"

I've come across people who are socially awkward but have no other common ASD symptoms or traits like sensory issues, special interests or anxiety issues.

A lot of NTs lack a social sense especially men are often clueless.
But also women are quite different once it comes to this.

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